


My Saving Grace

by PrincessDystopia



Series: My Saving Grace [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fanfiction, Love, Walkers (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:08:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 40
Words: 76,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessDystopia/pseuds/PrincessDystopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would you do to save the life of the person you love? Would you take a chance and risk everything you have left? Or would you give up? Harper, a pampered, spoiled survivor must make a choice. Risk her life and fight for Daryl Dixon's, or give up and become a victim to fate -- a victim to the threat of the walkers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

What would you do to save the life of someone you love? Please tell me because I’m running out of time. He’s only five feet away from me, but his eyes won’t open no matter how many times I call his name.

Blood trickles from his mouth and drips onto the concrete floor. If his chest wasn’t rising and falling, I would assume he’s dead. And if that were the case…

“Daryl!” My voice is hardly more than a hoarse crack. I’ve been screaming for him so much that I’ve forgotten about my own health. 

My focus attaches onto the gun on the other side of flimsy fence. The walkers step on it, around it, over it, paying no attention to it. The chains rattle loud enough that I know it will draw more of those creatures in. 

I stumble and fall, taking Daryl’s rough, cracked fingers in mine. I let out a hysterical, pathetic chuckle. These hands that circle perfectly around mine were the sole reason I felt safe – felt strong enough to keep fighting. They gave me hope that the world couldn’t stay this way forever and that someday on a perfect paradise island, I would take these hands in mine – wrinkled and worn – and smile at the man I survived the end of the world and grew old with. 

But now, mine tremble around his. I’m scared – no, I’m terrified. 

“Daryl, please,” I beg, staring at the walkers separated by only a chain-link fence. “Please, open your eyes. I don’t know what to do.”

So, what would you do to save the life of someone you love? Would you take a chance and fight through the walkers for the gun? Or would you see the world as I used to and let the walkers eat away at what’s left of you?

Because let’s face it: even death is better than living through his hell.


	2. A Week

“Come on, Harper! This is a really bad time to screw up your ankle!”

Glaring at my sister, I grabbed a rock and chucked it behind me. Whoever said that adrenaline gave you better aim lied. The rock flew past the dead’s head, hitting the tree just behind it. The moaning creature settled his bleached eyes on us as Adeline grabbed onto my shoulders. I yelped in pain as she pulled me into my feet, forcing me to limp as fast as she ran.

“Wait, wait!” I shrieked, forcing her to a stop. “God damn it, Adeline! At least help me limp to the fucking road or something!”

Her hazel eyes rolled to the back of her head and I resisted the urge to slap her. She knew I hated when she did that. Her slender arm hooked around my waist. She grunted as I allowed my body weight to fall into her.

“Come on, come on,” she hissed as we stumbled over fallen trees, animal carcasses, and scattered rocks. I bit my lower lip, trying to direct the pain from my ankle to my face. Of course it wouldn’t work. What was I thinking? 

A gunshot sounded in the distance. Adeline and I screamed and fell to the ground, covering our ears with our hands. I watched her, looking for any signs that she had been shot. She seemed to be doing the same, so when we met panicked stares, a wave of relief flooded over me. 

Gurgling groans ceased and the sound of a heavy thump forced us to turn to look at the direction we came. The dead had fallen, its head splattered in an explosion of blood, bone, and flesh on a rock nearby. 

The heavy sound of my heartbeat in my ears drowned out my sister’s yelling. I knew her lips were forming the words, “Come on, we have to get out of here!” I couldn’t hear her, though. My adrenaline seemed to finally start kicking in. 

The forest swirled around me. A buzz filled my head. One tree suddenly formed into two. Adeline’s face became distorted, her eyes floating further apart and her chin drooping to her chest. I heard shouts and watched as her eyes flicked up. Her arms, swirling flabs of skin, waved frantically in the air.

“Help!” she called, her voice much lower than I was used to hearing. “Please, help us!”

We became surrounded, guns pointed in our face. I let my head drop to the ground as the tip of a bolt pointed dangerously close to my nose. 

“Please, help us…”

o-o-o

“Was she bitten?”

“No, I’m telling you, she probably broke her ankle or something!”

“Are you sure she wasn’t bitten or scratched?!”

“YES! Are you people deaf or something?!”

My head lulled to the side. Through my clouded vision, I could make out Adeline’s figure sitting at a makeshift table. Two more figures were in the room, one perched on the chair of another table and the other standing near a barred door just opposite the room where I lay. 

“Is it just the two of you?”

“Yeah. Has been for a few weeks.”

I let out a pitiful groan, closing my eyes tightly. A dull headache throbbed and my ankle, though restrained against something solid, felt as if it were on fire. The one who remained silent strolled toward me, stopping just above me. I recognized him from the other side of the crossbow. 

“She’s awake,” he announced, glancing over his shoulder. 

Adeline stood and kneeled beside me. The more I blinked the grogginess away, the more I realized how much more pristine she looked. Almost like none of this had ever happened. Her golden hair had been brushed and possibly washed, the dirt had been cleaned from her face, and hunger no longer invaded her gaze. She smiled and took my hand. She had brushed her teeth recently. Thank God.

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” she whispered, tears brimming her eyes. “I wasn’t sure you’d ever wake up.”

“I just twisted my ankle,” I replied. “It wasn’t like I was stabbed in the chest or anything.”

“In the world now, you never know what can kill you,” the man behind us said. It had been the same person she was discussing my health with. He stood from his seat, but made no advancement toward us. 

“Who are you?” I asked, staring at the rifle on his back. 

“Doesn’t matter,” he answered. He ran a hand through his hair. “Look, once your ankle is healed, we’ll give you a few supplies and have you on your way.”

His words hit me like a rock. On our way? Back out there? No way. Absolutely not. 

Before I had a chance to protest, the barred door creaked open. A brunette woman, obviously pregnant, entered the room, her hand resting on her belly. “Rick, Hershel needs to talk with you.”

Rick, the man who I wanted to argue with, sighed in frustration. As he walked toward the woman, he whispered to the other man, “Deryl, keep an eye on them. If they try anything, do what you need to do.”

“Got it.”

The door slammed shut, creating a painful echo all around us. I winced as I covered my ears with the flat pillow I’d been sleeping on. 

Adeline shook her head and stood, sitting back at her original seat. Daryl leaned against the wall, snatching his crossbow in his hands. I watched him from under the pillow. He lifted his weapon, looked through the sights, and lowered it again. His arms made me come to the conclusion that he was familiar with dangerous item in his hands.

“So, that’s what you do, huh?” Adeline muttered. She held her head in her hands, her elbows propped on the table’s surface. “That’s what you people do.”

“What?” Daryl questioned, though his tone sounded uninterested. He seemed more focused on his weapon than anything else.

“Kidnap people, fix them up, then turn them back. That’s sick.”

“Kidnap you, huh?” He gave a sarcastic smirk. “Yeah, okay. If that’s what ya’ll call it. Doesn’t matter to me.”

“Stop it,” I told her. “Just stop it. I really don’t want to hear your voice right now.” I glared toward Daryl. “Or yours, for that matter.”

He shrugged. “You could always leave. You won’t have to hear it that way.”

The three of us sat in awkward silence for more than I would’ve liked. Adeline finally stood and bent backwards. The popping of her back made both Daryl and I cringe. Another one of her annoying habits that made me want to slap her.

The barred door opened once again and an older, white-haired man hobbled in with the support of crutches. He nodded to Daryl and Adeline, who returned with a deadly glare, and proceeded toward me. 

“What happened?” I blurted out, jutting my chin toward his missing leg.

“Got bit by a walker,” he muttered disdainfully. 

I let out a bitter chuckle. “Walker? Is that what you people call them?”

“What do you call them then?” Daryl demanded to know. 

“Exactly what they are: zombies.”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes before squinting down the sights of his crossbow again. “This ain’t no video game.”

The older man cleared his throat. “My name is Hershel. I just wanted to see how your ankle was. I didn’t see any signs that you broke the bone, but you definitely twisted it. I’d say give it a week and you’ll be fine.”

I nodded, forcing a small smile onto my face. A week. That’s all the time we had in this place of safety, wherever it was. Where there was food, a roof over our heads, and a place to sleep peacefully. 

As I looked toward Adeline, she shook her head and turned her back to me, placing her hands on her hips. She knew just as well as I did that once that week was over, we’d be as good as dead. 

A week.


	3. Back-Assward Redneck

“And how do we know these people are okay to live with?” Adeline whispered. We had learned that in this small room, our voices carried into the adjoining cell block. “I mean, they could be cannibals for all we know.”

I shook my head, running my fingers though my grimy blonde hair. “I think they’re okay. I mean, they fixed my ankle for the most part and they’ve shared what little food they have.” I stared around, my gaze lingering on the dirty sheets and pillows that had been provided for us.

The room Adeline and I had been locked in for the past day and a half must’ve been a common room in a prison. I shuddered. Prison was a place I never thought I would spend even a second of my life in, but here we were, held up in here for protection from the outside world. How ironic. 

“Sure, they’re okay now,” Adeline argued, wrapping her arms around herself defensively. “Later, though. Maybe tomorrow they’ll attack and eat us like the zombies do.”

I rolled my eyes as I used one of the tables to pull myself up. I stood, putting on my weight onto my good ankle. “There’s a pregnant lady, for Christ’s sake. I highly doubt she’s feeding her baby human meat.”

“Hey, Barbie doll.” 

The voice caused a jolt of surprise to shudder throughout my body. I gasped and, without thinking, pressed my foot onto the floor. I hissed in pain, falling to the hard concrete floor to hold my foot in my hands. 

“Did you really have to yell?!” I snapped at Daryl. He leaned against the barred door, his arms lazily resting on the center horizontal divider.

“Well, if ya’ll hadn’t been whispering this whole damn time, I wouldn’t have scared you,” he rebuked, giving me a bored stare. 

From the corner of my eye, I could see Adeline shake her head. A laugh stopped in my throat. I coughed to clear it away. “’Ya’ll’?” I repeated. “Oh, I get it. You’re one of those back-assward rednecks, aren’t you? I’d bet your mom is your auntie too, huh?”

“Harper!” Adeline screeched. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Daryl licked his bottom lip as he lifted his middle finger in my direction. Without another word, he pushed himself from the bars and disappeared into the cell block.  
My sister advanced toward me, yanking me up from my armpit. “Seriously?!” she hissed, spittle flying onto my face. “You do realize he saved your ungrateful ass, right? These people are helping us and you’re treating them, especially Daryl, like shit.”

I yanked my arm from her grasp and sat back onto the seat behind me. “You’re the one who didn’t trust them five seconds ago. I was testing him, you know? Trying to see if he’d kill me for saying something like that.”

Her eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare, but before she could argue with me, the barred doors squealed open. Expecting Daryl again, I opened my mouth to shout out some more insults, but when Hershel hobbled in, my mouth instantly clamped shut. There was no way I could say anything like that to this man.

“Now, I understand Daryl isn’t welcome around you two,” he began, looking at each of us for an explanation.

“Just her,” Adeline admitted and nodded in my direction. “I’m fine with him, really. I apologize for her.”

“He was coming to see if you two needed anything…personal. Some of the group is going on a run.”

“Personal?” I asked. “And what is a run?”

“A run is a trip into the nearest town to gather supplies. I meant personal as in…well, tampons and anything of the like.”

Adeline’s face looked as flushed as mine felt. I watched her, waiting for her to reply to him. I was too embarrassed to say anything.

“Yes,” she finally choked out. “Tampons would be great. Thank you.”

Hershel nodded and disappeared just the same way Daryl did.

o-o-o

“How long do runs usually take?” I asked the pregnant woman who had introduced herself as Lori a few hours before. She gave me a small smile, absentmindedly rubbing a hand over her belly.

“Depends on if they find anything,” she answered, standing on her toes to peek over into the top bunk of the bed Adeline and I would be sharing. “Could be a few hours or maybe a day or two.”

I patted the mattress, which was much more comfortable than the floor we’d slept on. The cell we were given was insignificant, but I was thankful for it. After a thorough pat-down to make sure we didn’t carry any weapons on us, we were allowed into the cell block. 

“This is just for safety precaution,” Lori had explained as I stood naked in front of her. She had made sure that the area was completely blocked off from eyes other than her own as she searched me.

“I understand,” I had replied, staring at her stomach. “I would act the same if I was expecting.”

Adeline poked her head out from around the corner. She smirked at me as she messed my hair with her hand. “You were right – everyone’s friendly. Although, I can’t speak for your back-assward friend when he gets back.”

Guilt hit me harder than I thought it would. Lori chuckled mostly to herself before muttering, “Daryl is Daryl. He doesn’t waste his time staying mad over petty arguments with a…what did he call you?”

“A Barbie doll,” I answered. The laugh that escaped my mouth surprised even me. “I don’t look like a Barbie doll, do I?”

“You kind of do,” they replied simultaneously. 

o-o-o

“So, what’s your story?” Carl asked. All the eyes on us – Carl, Lori, Carol, T-Dog, Beth, and Hershel – made me feel almost like I was being interviewed. And the fact that a 14-year-old boy was the interviewer didn’t help my feelings. 

“Um,” I muttered, looking to Adeline for help. We sat around the tables in the common room. Carol and Lori had cooked some sort of concoction that consisted of meat (?) and potatoes (?). Whatever it was, it tasted amazing. 

“Before or after all this?” she asked, taking a spoonful of her food into her mouth. 

“Both.”

“Well, we grew up in Berkeley Lake,” my sister started. “We were both homeschooled by private tutors. After we graduated high school, I went right off to college while Harper just took her time with furthering her education.”

Beth’s eyes widened slightly. “Berkeley Lake? You two must’ve been pretty wealthy then, huh?”

Adeline and I exchanged glances. “I guess you can say that,” I muttered, stuffing more food into my face.

“Our father was a successful lawyer and our mother was at the top of the Wal-Mart corporations. I wouldn’t say wealthy, just better off,” she added. 

“What did you do for work before this?”

Again, we exchanged glances. 

“Wait,” Carl said, holding up his hands. “You’re telling us neither of you have had jobs before?”

“We didn’t need to work,” I answered, my cheeks growing hot. “Our parents gave us all the money we needed.”

The group fell silent as we continued to eat. Part of me wondered if our upbringing would affect our new relationship with these people, but when Hershel’s wrinkled face sported a smile, I knew I was wrong.

“Then I’m sure you two could learn a few things from us, just as we can learn a few things from you.”

The entrance to the prison flew open and in a hurry, the people surrounding us acted. Weapons were grabbed and everyone stood in an attack stance. Even Adeline jumped to her feet, her hands doubled into tight fists. 

“Tampons, right?” Daryl announced, throwing a box roughly at me. It slammed into my chest, the cardboard nicking my chin, before I caught it in my arms. He stormed past us, making his way into the cell block. A loud banging noise echoed.

As everyone relaxed, Beth’s older sister, Maggie, paced toward me. She placed a heavy hand on my shoulder and gave a smile. She had a very nice smile. 

“Whatever you did to piss Daryl off, I wouldn’t suggest doing it again.”


	4. Thank You

“I still can’t believe you all cleared out this whole prison,” I muttered, staring at the expansive building behind us. Carl gave me a shy grin that I could hardly see from underneath his sheriff’s hat. His chubby cheeks turned pink as he nodded.

Lori gave us a small wave as she sat with Adeline on a metal bench. They had become close in the week and a half that we stayed with the group. Often times, Lori told her stories of her pregnancy with Carl. Adeline adored babies. She had always told me that she was born to have a lot of children. I believed it. She worked well with children of any age. Our family always joked that instead of becoming the crazy cat lady, she would become the crazy baby lady with a house full of baby shoes and unused diapers. 

The field below concerned me at times. The dead gathered around the fences, but Rick usually sent a group of four or five people out to put them down with anything small enough to fit through the chain-link fence. Maggie, Daryl, Glenn, Beth, and Rick were the group this time. I’d asked if I could help, but Hershel said that with my ankle still healing, exerting myself like that wouldn’t be the best of ideas.

I watched Daryl stab the dead with the end of a broken shovel. Since his return from the first run, he ignored me completely. Well, that isn’t entirely true. If I was in his way, he’d say something along the lines of, “Get the fuck out of my way, Barbie.” Every time I approached him to apologize for my behavior, he walked past me and disappeared for hours. I finally gave up. He didn’t want anything from me and he made that quite obvious.

“Yeah, well, we needed a safe place. Dad and Hershel say this place is perfect,” he answered. Clearing his throat, he tipped his hat to me. I couldn’t help but giggle. He was a cute kid, that was for sure. Much more mature than I originally thought he would be. “I should probably… Oh, shit.”

“Wha… Oh my God,” I whispered, covering my mouth with my hands. I turned back toward the courtyard. A small herd of eight or nine dead sauntered toward us. 

“Walkers!” Carl shouted, reaching for his gun.

Adeline’s head shot up. As soon as her gaze locked on the herd, she jumped from the bench and rushed around to help Lori up. “We have to go,” she whispered, motioning for Hershel, who sat sunbathing on another bench a few feet away, over to her. “Now, now, now.”

Carl forced himself in front of me, creating a barrier between me and the dead. I screamed and covered my ears as bullets landed in their heads. The group down below shouted for us to run, dashing up toward us. 

“Get out of there!” Daryl yelled. His shovel had been replaced with his crossbow. “Now!”

Gunshots rang out all around us. I curled in on myself, closing my eyes tightly. My breath caught painfully in my chest. I began to wheeze as I forced air in and out of my lungs.  
A tight grip caught on my arm. My first reaction was to fist my fist and begin to pound away at whatever had grabbed me, but when Carol’s eyes stared into mine, my fist unclenched. “Its okay,” she whispered, a frightened smile planted on her face. “You’re going to stay behind me and we’ll be okay.”

T-Dog ran past us, slamming shut a gate that the dead were beginning to force open. I opened my mouth to scream out for him, but I couldn’t find my words. There was one just behind him. I held onto Carol’s hand, lifting it toward him.

“No!” she shrieked just as the nagged teeth bit down into his shoulder. He cried out in pain before pushing the female dead from him. He unloaded two bullets into her brain before running toward us. I didn’t hesitate to move away from him.

Through my tears, I watched as T-Dog led Carol and me through dark hallways. Our footfalls echoed loudly. A deafening alarm shot off, one that must’ve been used when prisoners escaped or started riots. Again, I covered my ears and slammed myself against the nearest wall, trying to block out as much as I could.

“No, honey, you can’t do this, okay?” Carol frantically shouted, grabbing my arms. “We have to go now!”

I shook my head, forming silent words with my mouth. She grunted as she pulled me to her, supporting most of my weight on her own body. I unwillingly limped beside her, sobbing the entire way.

“There’s a set of double doors that will lead to a corridor that will get you back to our cell block,” T-Dog informed us as he ran in front.

“No, you should stop!” Carol argued, grabbing on his arm with her free hand. The man whipped around, giving her a stubborn glare.

“Why? So I can sit here and wait to die? Nuh-uh.” He began stumbling along again.

“We’ll do what we have to! You won’t become one of those things!”

T-Dog and I knew as well as she did that that was an empty promise. Sure, you can amputate a leg to stop the infection, but as I gazed upon the bloody mess covering T-Dog’s shoulder, I knew there was no way he could live without that part of his body. 

“This is God’s plan,” T-Dog replied. “He’ll take care of me. Always has, hasn’t He?”

We continued on for I don’t know how long. The alarm eventually became part of the background. I no longer heard it. The only thing I could focus on was Carol’s heavy breathing, T-Dog’s pained groans, and my hiccupping snivels. 

T-Dog stopped short as we turned a sharp corner. Dead were advancing toward us, tripping over their own feet and each other. Two made it past the cluster, their lifeless eyes locked on our bodies. Carol grabbed for her gun in the pocket between the two of us and lifted it. The chamber clicked. Her hand fell back to her side. 

“Shit, shit,” she hissed, pulling me backward. “We have to back!”

“No! We’re almost there!” T-Dog pulled tightly on her hand, dragging the both of us with him toward the dead. I cried out as loud as Carol did, but he was too strong. Had the infection already reached his brain? Was that the reason why he was doing this?

He released us only a foot away from them, wrapping both his hands around their throats. He slammed them against the wall and ordered us to run. As Carol pushed me toward the door, I stared behind. The dead bit down on T-Dog’s arms, his throat, his collarbone, ripping away the flesh, breaking bones, and severing arteries as he howled in pain.  
He never stopped telling us to go.

o-o-o

“I can’t,” Carol breathed, doubling over to try to catch her breath. The dead snarled, stalking toward us like a cat readying to attack a mouse. I gripped Carol’s dagger in my palm tightly, holding her away from them.

“In there,” I whispered, pointing to a slim door. The woman shoved the creaking doors open, pulling on my shirt to drag me inside. I leaned against the door as soon as we closed it, using as much body weight as I could to keep them from coming inside. Carol joined me.

Hours passed until finally, the banging stopped. The alarms fell silent. Everything was over. 

We slid to the ground. I dropped the dagger onto the floor with a quiet clang. Blood covered my hands and my arms. I wasn’t sure whose it belonged to. My ankle pulsed in intense pain. 

Bringing my legs to my chest, I wrapped my dirty arms around them. My head fell into my arms just as tears began to fall from my eyes. Carol wrapped a secure arm around me, pulling me into her. 

“You did great,” she muttered exhaustedly. “Thank you.”

o-o-o

I wished I had kept a watch on me. It seemed as if days passed as Carol and I sat on the tiny room together. She was too weak to stand and I was too afraid to open the door. I couldn’t stand to face those monsters again.

“How long has it been?” I asked, my voice cracking. Carol only shook her head in response. 

I pursed my lips and crawled toward the door. It had been my first time trying to move in probably a few days, so I didn’t realize just how weak I was as well. Just as I pushed on the metal door, a sharp clanging noise echoed from the other side. The door stopped; something was blocking it. 

I fell onto my stomach, trying to push whatever the object was out of the way. “Come on,” I moaned pathetically. 

More clanging from the other side. 

I continued to try for only a few more times before a force violently pushed the door back toward me. My hand instantly came back to my side. I remained on my stomach, hoping that whatever had done it wasn’t going to try to kill us.

Shuffling sounded from the hallway. The door flew open and I closed my eyes tightly.

“Holy shit.”

“Daryl?” I mumbled, lifting my face from the concrete. He kneeled next to me, inspecting my hair, the blood, and my clothes before looking toward Carol. “We have to get her out of here.”

“Okay,” he whispered in disbelief. “Can you walk?”

I nodded, grunting as he wrapped a muscled arm around my shoulders. He lifted me onto my feet and waited for my balance to come back before taking Carol into his arms. As we walked down the corridors, I limped closely by his side. Bodies littered the floors, guts sprayed onto the walls. I cringed at every single one. 

“You kill any of these?” Daryl finally asked. 

“Yeah,” I answered tearfully. 

“You kept her safe?”

“Yeah.” The tears fell once again.

“Thank you.”


	5. Little Ass-Kicker

“Here,” Daryl ordered, gently placing me down on lower bed in the cell that Adeline and I shared. We had dropped Carol off on her own bed a few minutes ago. As much as I had told Daryl that I was still okay to walk, he still insisted on looping his arm around my shoulders to steady my wobbly knees. 

The bed creaked with my weight. I doubled over, burying my face into my hands. Everything about me felt so filthy. My clothes, my hair, my emotions. I knew that no matter how scalding hot the shower, I would feel this way for the rest of my life.

“Just…stay here, okay?” Daryl mumbled, backing from me. Before he turned the corner into the hallway, his palm slapped against the concrete wall twice. 

As much as I watched to lie back on the bed and sleep, my stomach wouldn’t let me. It grumbled painfully with hunger. My tongue twisted with dehydration. Another headache seemed to be creeping up on me. 

Daryl returned shortly with a bottle of clear water. For a split second, I’d wondered where he had gotten it. Then I remembered it was probably from a run they had gone one while Carol and I were locked away in that tiny room. 

“Drink this,” he told me, waving someone in with his free hand. I gripped the bottle weakly and as I unscrewed the cap, Adeline sauntered in, tears creating lines of cleanliness on her dirt-covered face. 

She let out a quick sob before kneeling in front of me, placing her forehead on my left knee. “I’m so glad,” she whimpered, her shoulders trembling. “I thought you were dead.”

“Almost,” I croaked out before clearing my throat. I could feel my eyes roll to the back of my head in pleasure as the water splashed at the back of my throat. I’d never loved bottled water so much in my life. 

Another body joined us in the cramped cell. Daryl squeezed himself near the wall to make room as Rick entered, a grateful smile planted on his face. “Harper,” he started, “thank you so much for what you did for Carol. She told us that you fought off a few walkers, even though you were terrified of them.”

I could only nod. Ramming the dagger into the walkers’ heads was one of the worst things I ever had to do. I shuddered at the thought of their snarling mouths so close to my body as the blade pierced their skills. The cracking noise it created made my stomach churn. 

“How is she?” I managed to ask through my nausea. 

“She’s fine,” Daryl answered, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. “A little more dehydrated than you are, but she’ll make it.”

Rick kneeled in front of me, matching my gaze. “We all appreciate what you did for Carol, a—“

“Are you kicking us out?” I cut him off, assuming the worst. Daryl scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“No,” Rick continued. “The opposite, actually. We’re inviting you to join us, to make this prison a place where we can actually thrive.”

Confusion struck me. I stared at Rick, then my sister, then Daryl, and back to Rick again. “I can understand if you want Adeline to stay; she knows how to shoot a gun. But I don’t. I was barely even able to take down the dead with a stupid knife.”

“They’ve offered to teach you how to shoot and defend yourself,” Adeline muttered, her forehead lifting from my knee. “Well, Daryl has.”

I gazed toward Daryl just in time for a baby’s cry to echo throughout the building. My eyes met Rick’s, but he only dropped his head. With the support of the bedframe, I lifted myself onto my feet. Adeline linked her arm with mine, helping out of the cell. Beth stood against the wall, just underneath the window, bouncing a small baby in her arms. 

“Oh my God,” I whispered, my hand rising to cover my mouth. “Where’s Lori?”

“She didn’t make it,” Adeline mumbled in my ear. 

As the baby quieted, Beth approached me, a soft smile planted on her cracked lips. “It’s a girl,” she informed me. “Daryl named her Little Ass-Kicker.”

I glanced around toward the bars to the cell where Daryl and Rick stood. The redneck only shrugged. I tried my hardest not to laugh, but a small chuckle escaped. 

“I’d like to see you think of something better,” Daryl suggested before I had a chance to say anything.

I shook my head, my eyes locked on his. “No,” I replied. “It’s a good name, for now. Can’t say she’ll like it much when she turns twelve, though.”

Something happened then. A smirk grew on Daryl’s face, which caught me by complete surprise. I was used to only seeing an angry scowl. He let out an amused huff through his nose before turning to walk into the common area. Strange flutters of excitement replaced the nausea. Before I could realize it, a stupid grin became apparent on my face.

“Are you okay?” Beth asked, bringing my focus back to the baby in her arms. 

“Yeah,” I answered, pressing my lips to the soft skin just above the baby’s left eye. “I just really like the name Little Ass-Kicker.”


	6. Muzzle

“Isn’t this going to waste ammo?” I questioned as I followed Daryl into the courtyard. As the man in front of me hauled gym bags full of rifles on his shoulder, I carried a Glock Nineteen. It felt so much heavier than I knew it was. I traded it between hands as they began to sweat with nervousness. 

“I figured you’d be more worried ‘bout the noise attractin’ the walkers,” he answered, pointing toward the gates surrounding the prison. Maggie and Glenn were on their way out to find formula for Little Ass-Kicker, so the other members of our group stood nearby with rusty weapons in their hands. 

I made sure to keep my gun pointed at the ground. “That too, I guess,” I muttered. “That’s what the silencer is for, right?”

“Yep. And don’t worry ‘bout ammo. We’ll be goin’ on a run later for that. Rick says there’s a sporting goods store a few miles away.”

“We?” I repeated as we approached a makeshift dead that Daryl had set up. It was just a piece of rebar shoved into the ground, a snarling head placed on the top. 

“When we’re done here, me and you are gonna get real practice.” Daryl dropped the bag and held out his hand. Without thinking, I placed mine into his. Without hesitation, his yanked his hand from mine and grabbed the gun from my other hand. “Dumbass,” he muttered under his breath, loading the clip with bullets. 

“Well, excuse me,” I snapped, folding my arms over my chest. “You keep giving off mixed signals.”

Daryl froze, giving me a confused glare. “What do you think this is? Ain’t some dumb fantasy love story bullshit, that’s for sure. Get your head where it needs to be or else you ain’t gonna survive out here.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek so hard that I’m sure it bled. Tears of embarrassment blurred my vision before I blinked them away. Daryl held the gun toward me, but I only shook my head and took a step away.

“I can’t,” I said curtly. 

“Just take the damn gun.”

“I can’t.”

He sighed in frustration, racked the slide, and raised the barrel upward, closing one eye as his finger pulled the trigger. I attempted to cover my ears to block out the noise, but I hardly heard a thing. Of course, the silencer. The bullet flew past the dead’s head, just barely nicking the ear.

“It ain’t hard, Barbie,” he grumbled. He grabbed my hand and forced my fingers open before setting the weapon in my palm. “Hold it like this.” Moving around me, he formed his hands around mine to hold the gun with both hands. Behind me, he towered high above my body. I’d never realized just how much taller he was than me. 

“I really can’t do this, Daryl,” I insisted, trying to squirm away from him. He stood his ground stubbornly. “Can I try with a shovel or a pipe or something that doesn’t shoot bullets?”

Daryl pushed the gun down to my side before grabbing my shoulders roughly. He twisted me around to face him. “Either you learn how to shoot a gun, or your sister dies out there. Do you understand me?” he growled low enough that nobody around us would question anything. “You could be in a situation where you ain’t got a choice but to shoot, and if you stand around cryin’ about it, the people you love will die.”

His words forced the tears from my eyes. I wasn’t sure if they were from fear, humiliation, or self-pity. His piercing blue eyes followed the drops down my face before he backed away from me and scoffed. 

“You didn’t hear a damn word I just said, huh? Figured as much. You’re as deaf as you are dumb.”

“Are you going to teach me how to shoot a gun,” I muttered darkly, wiping my face as quickly as I could, “or are you going to just make fun of me the entire time.”

“Depends. Are you done cryin’ about everything?”

“Fuck you, Daryl! You don’t have to be such an asshole!” I screamed, jamming a finger only inches from his nose.

Daryl slapped my hand away and pointed to the gun in my other. “Stop bein’ so worthless and shoot the goddamn walker!”

In an instant of rage, I lifted the gun and squinted through the sights. I yelped as I pulled the trigger. The bullet missed the head completely and the gun’s recoil forced the object right back into my nose. I cried in pain, dropping the weapon, and pushing my hands to the gushing blood. Daryl grabbed the gun from the ground and placed it into the holster on his hip before pulling my hands from my face.

“Let it drip out. Better on the ground than your clothes,” he muttered, gently shoving the back of my head so I would stare at my feet. Blood droplets fell from the tip of my nose and splattered on the concrete below.

“What about the tilting your head back and squeezing your nose shut trick?” I questioned, trying to avoid a stream of blood from entering my mouth.

“It don’t work,” he replied, inspecting the gun. 

“Is it broken?” The bleeding seemed to ease, so I lifted my head again, sniffling loudly. Everything smelled like dirty metal.

“Nah. Okay, do it again.”

“Again?!” I exclaimed, taking a step away from his extended hand. “I almost killed myself with that thing!”

Daryl gave me an annoyed stare, his hand unmoving. “Now you know to hold it steadier. And breathe out before you shoot.”

Running my arm across my upper lip to rid myself of the drying blood, I grabbed the gun as if it were a used tissue. I held it as he taught me, readied my body for the impact I knew was coming, and exhaled slowly as I pulled the trigger. The gun remained in my hand, away from my face, and the bullet flew through the head. The ferocious snarling silenced.

“I did it?” I asked in disbelief as I lowered my weapon.

“Looks like it,” Daryl replied, walking toward the lifeless object. “Clean through.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered, a hysterical giggle forming in my throat. “I killed it! I mean, it was already dead and everything, but holy shit! I killed a walker!”

Without thinking my actions through, I hurled myself at Daryl in an ecstatic embrace. My arms circled around his neck and I buried my face in the crook of his neck. However, once I realized what I’d just done, I launched myself away from him, fumbling to hand him the gun. 

Daryl wrenched the weapon from my hand. “Don’t ever muzzle someone you don’t plan on killin’,” he warned through gritted teeth. 

“Muzzle?” I repeated, shrinking away at his voice.

“Pointin’ the barrel at someone.”

“I’m sorry, Daryl. I didn’t mean to.”

He shook his head and grabbed the walker by the hair, lifting it from the rebar. With a heavy grunt, he chucked it as far as he could. The two of us watched it sail through the air, landing on the other side of the fence. 

“We should get on with this run,” he muttered, lifting his gaze to the sky. “Only about three hours of daylight left.”

I followed Daryl as he gathered what he needed from the prison. Adeline pulled me into a tight hug and expressed how proud she was of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I’d almost broken my nose and killed Daryl in less than five minutes. I cleaned my face of the remaining blood, grabbed a backpack that had been given to me when Rick was planning on sending us out with supplies, and eventually found myself on the back of Daryl’s motorcycle. 

“We get in, get what we can find, and get out,” Daryl stated before he started up the vehicle. “Got it?”

I wrapped my arms securely around his waist, eyeing the angel wings that had been sewn onto his leather vest. More than anything, I wanted to trace the design with my fingertips. I had to push that urge far out of my mind.

“Got it.”


	7. The Face Of Failure

When Adeline and I were younger, our father would often drag us along to sporting goods stores in hopes that we would become as interested in hunting as he was. For hours we would stand around in absolute boredom as Dad compared guns and their prices, their names, and how quickly a bullet would fly from the barrel and into a buck’s neck. Much to his dismay, neither of his daughters cared for harming animals because it seemed fun. 

“This is it,” Daryl announced as he pulled into the parking lot of a rundown store. The letters had fallen from the building long ago, but I could make out where they had been painted around. 

“Cabela’s, huh?” I muttered, swinging my leg over the motorcycle. 

Two gigantic bear sculptures loomed over the entrance. They stood back on their hind legs, their claws and teeth ready to rip apart their prey. As we passed underneath them, I caught a glimpse of a sardonic smirk on Daryl’s face.

“I’ll get the ammo,” he informed me once we entered. He held out a gun toward me. “You find anythin’ else that looks important. Don’t shoot unless you’re sure you’re gonna die.”

We parted ways. Daryl headed toward the guns and ammo section of the store while I found myself in the clothing department. Most of the clothes had been taken already; winter jackets, shoes, and multi-pocket hiking pants. I did, however, find a bin full of blankets that were previously marked as half-off. My mind instantly pictured the baby. Sure, we had plenty of blankets at the prison, but none of them were warm at all. I grabbed three and stuffed them into my backpack. 

The store smelled of mildew and something else I couldn’t quite place my finger on. As I wandered up and down isles, throwing energy bars, metal water bottles, and trail mix packets into my backpack, I made sure to avoid the dead bodies huddled in the corners. Telling from the smaller bodies clinging to adult-sized ones, I assumed families remained here to obtain guns and escape the world together. 

“How lucky,” I whispered, trying my hardest to push the image of my own parents from my head. 

To my surprise, nestled in the very back near the pink camouflage tank-tops and lingerie, a cosmetics aisle had been holding a buy-one-get-one-free sale. I guess even sporting goods stores had to appeal to the customers who weren’t into anything else in the building. Those types of customers such as myself. 

Grinning widely, I searched through the different types of cover-up, fake eyelashes, and mascara. As quickly as I could, I pushed the blankets in my backpack to the side to make room for my treasure. I missed make-up almost as much as I missed decent food every day.

Once I was finished, I stood and turned to return to Daryl. Instead, I faced a full-length mirror. My reflection caught me by shock. For a good minute or so, I stared at myself, wondering if the woman staring back at me was truly me. The blonde hair that used to fall in soft waves now clumped together with brown dirt and dust. My cheekbones were prominent now. Dark circles of exhaustion sagged underneath my dull cobalt eyes. 

I no longer looked like twenty-five year old Harper Minster, the woman who refused to follow in her mother’s footsteps and go to college just to become some hot-shot ringleader of a company she didn’t even like to shop at. I no longer held my father’s curious gaze. That had been replaced with utter fear and uncertainty. I no longer felt like I could take on the world just because I came from a family comprised of money. 

A figure approached from behind me, inspecting himself in the mirror as well. Daryl peered in close, running a hand along his beard and touching the bags underneath his own eyes. “Ugly motherfucker,” he mumbled to himself before stepping away. “Got what you needed?”

“Uh, yeah,” I replied, turning my back to the mirror. “I found a few blankets for the baby and some energy bars. There isn’t much else here, though.”

“Yeah, not much for ammo either.”

I followed Daryl back to the outside of the store, but instead of hopping on the motorcycle and returning to the prison, he grabbed a handful of the back of my shirt and yanked me behind one of the bear statues. Peering around a paw, I could see a large black van with four men surrounding it. They inspected Daryl’s bike, muttering to themselves in appreciation for the paint and model. 

Beside me, Daryl loaded a bolt into his crossbow. I covered my mouth with my hand to quiet my heavy breathing as one of the men swung a leg over, sitting comfortably on the seat.

“Get off the bike!” Daryl shouted, revealing himself to the group. His crossbow aimed for the one on the bike. I followed his actions, raising my gun to the tallest one standing.

The man smirked and rose up, holding his hands up in forfeit as he placed both feet on the ground. “Hey, no worries, man,” he said gently. “I don’t mean any harm. Is this yours? It’s nice, real nice. Where’d you get it?”

Daryl didn’t respond. He held his ground, his eyes glaring daggers into the heads of the men that surrounded his prized possession. Sweat formed on his face and I couldn’t tell if it was from the overwhelming heat pounding down on us or from his own anger. 

“Let’s make a trade, huh?” the man suggested, patting the seat of the bike. “You can keep this baby if you hand over that babe.” He raised a finger in my direction.

My heart crashed into my stomach as the gun wobbled in my hand. Daryl’s eyes shifted to me as his crossbow lowered. In an instant, he was on me, ripping the gun from my hand and the backpack from my shoulders. I cried out in horror as he gripped my arm and pulled me toward the men, throwing me into their dirty hands.

“Good choice,” the man said with an almost toothless grin. I struggled against them, kicking and punching as hard as I could. Through my tears, I watched as Daryl tied the backpack onto the motorcycle. 

“Daryl!” I pleaded as the men held me back from him. “Please don’t do this! Help me!”

Without a word, Daryl started his motorcycle and began to drive forward at a very slow pace. He made a semi-circle before pulling his crossbow from his holster on his back. A bolt shot through the man who had the tightest grip on me, and then through the others. Their bodies lifelessly dropped to the ground around me. 

“Get my damn bolts and search that van for anything,” Daryl ordered. “Hurry up.”

My mouth opened for words that I could not find. So many emotions racked through me that I couldn’t focus on a single thing to form a thought.

“Are you fucking joking me?” I whispered, my hands doubling into fists at my side. “You almost got me raped, Daryl!”

His eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Why do you got to be so dramatic all the damn time?” he snapped. “I had to distract them with something.”

“So you used me?!”

“Are you dead?! No! So get your ass in there and find shit!”

My lips trembled with anger as I racked the sliding door on the van open. Beer bottles, needles, and porn magazines littered the inside. I almost gagged from the smell of old drugs and molded food as I shifted through the trash. Clicking the center console open, I picked up the guns they had hidden away and took the ammo stashed underneath the seats. 

“Nice,” Daryl whispered as I hauled my findings back out to him. He zipped open the backpack and peered in. “What the hell?” His hand dug in, revealing my make-up.

“Hey, that’s mine!” I snapped, grabbing the backpack from him. 

“I said take shit you need!”

“I need this!”

“For what?!”

I didn’t respond to him. The guy almost had me raped or killed, or both, and demands answers from me like I owe him something. I ignored his glower as I shoved the ammo into my backpack, gently setting the guns on top, and took my place behind him.

“Can we go?” I muttered.

Shaking his head in bitter rage, he started the engine. “Anything for you, _princess_.”


	8. Gun Wielding Boss

Two days. Glenn and Maggie had been gone two days before she showed up, and then she did, it seemed that the entire prison turned upside down. 

Beth paced back and forth in front of the cell block entrance, her sky blue eyes staring off either at the walkers that littered the outside gates or the forest beyond them. I pulled my fingers into my palm, tightening my hands into fists between my legs. Although winter was beginning to disappear, the cold air still made it a point to brush by every now and then to remind us that it would be coming back. 

“Beth, come on,” I muttered, bringing my hands to my lips to huff hot air onto them. “Standing around worrying won’t bring them back. I’m sure they’re just doing things they aren’t comfortable to do here in front of your dad.”

“No,” Beth answered, shaking her head. “Maggie knew the baby needs the formula. She wouldn’t be so selfish.”

And so I continued to watch her walk back and forth between two fence posts until finally, her sniffling annoyed even herself. She jutted her head toward the door and I followed her inside without hesitation. Our group, minus Adeline and Carl who were outside guarding the perimeter, sat huddled around a makeshift fire. Carol had pulled together enough wood to get a decent flame started.

“There she is,” Axel, one of the prisoners we’d come across, greeted me. As nice as the man seemed to be, something about him made me uncomfortable. It could have been the way he always tried to snake an arm around my waist or shoulders, or the way he sent a wink my way when I announced that I was going off to bed. Either way, I avoided him as much as I could. 

I gave him a nod of acknowledgement as I sat next to Carol, who handed me a plate of cooked rabbit, thanks to Daryl. I wasted no time digging into the meat, savoring every bite I took. 

“I’ll have to admit,” I started after swallowing a mouthful of food, “even though this isn’t Aria, I wouldn’t mind eating it every day.”

“What’s Aria?” Carl questioned, chomping down on his own piece of meat.

I glanced around, meeting the eyes of everyone in the room. “It’s a high-end restaurant,” I answered meekly. “It used to be one of my parent’s favorites.”

Thankfully, Little Ass-Kicker began to cry just in time to bring the attention away from my family’s wealth. Daryl placed his plate on the ground after declaring that he’d take care of it, licked each of his fingers individually, and stood from the spot he sat. He picked the infant up into his arms and fumbled around in a bag he’d obtained on a more recent run.

“Hope they get back soon,” he grumbled, mostly to himself as he prepared the last can of formula with his free hand. “This is the last one.”

Little Ass-Kicker’s frantic cries came to an immediate halt as Daryl placed the bottle in her mouth. The rest of our group fell into a drone of conversation, but my eyes lingered on the man across the room. He slowly walked back and forth, adding an extra bounce in his steps. 

“I know,” he cooed as Little Ass-Kicker began to fuss again. “It ain’t warm, but it’s better than nothin’. I know, sweetheart, I know.”

I couldn’t help but watch him with a smile. Sure, Daryl Dixon acted like a complete jackass most of the time, but when it came to Little Ass-Kicker, he was as soft as could be. Part of me figured that maybe one day, he would have the chance to be a perfect father. The other part of me, however, hoped that the baby he held in his arms would be the last one to ever be born into a world like this.

“Dad!” Carl called, opening the entrance only a few inches. “Dad, come here!”

Rick instantly jumped to his feet, slamming his plate on the table. The baby spat out the bottle from her mouth and flailed her arms and legs about, wailing violently. Daryl hissed to himself, looking toward the door in desperation as he continued to bounce her in his arms. I stood, offering myself to him. With a nod of gratitude, he placed her in my arms and sprinted after Rick.

The rest of our group waited in suspense. I copied Daryl’s movements, speaking in a soft voice while walking in circles with the baby. She calmed down after a few moments. I started to wonder how Daryl became so good with infants. Maybe he once had a child of his own?

In a rush, Adeline stormed in, a bag of supplies in her hand. Through the plastic, I could see the word “formula.” Speaking as calmly as she could, she urged everyone to return to their cells, per Rick’s orders. When I’d asked her what was going on, she gave me a stern stare and repeated her order.

I followed Beth into her cell, where she had made a small bed for the baby. Luckily, she had fallen asleep just before my sister came in, so I simply put her in the bed and hurried to the barred door separating the common area and the cell block. 

Rick and Carl had grabbed in an African-American woman. She glared at the two of them, along with Daryl who stood in the corner with his crossbow ready to fire and Hershel, who limped at Rick’s side. 

“We can tend to that wound,” Rick informed her. “Give you a little food and water, then send you on your way.” His words struck me almost as if he was speaking directly to me. 

My sister walked past me, a gun held tightly in her hand. It was almost as if she didn’t even see me in her path. She simply walked around me, opened the door, and closed it once more without a single word of acknowledgement. 

“You’re going to have to tell us how you found us,” Rick continued, his voice nearly a whisper. “And why you were carrying formula.” 

After a moment of complete silence, the woman responded, “The supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl.”

Hershel moved in closer to her. “Were they attacked?” he demanded to know.

“They were taken.”

“Taken by who?”

“By the same son of a bitch who shot me.”

Rick’s face contorted as he kneeled down to her eye-level. “These are our people,” he growled, grabbing a spot on her leg that had been bandaged with bloody gauze. She cried out in pain, fighting against him. “Tell us where they are now!”

The woman stood, shoving her finger in Rick’s face. “Don’t you touch me!”

I covered my mouth to quiet my yelp of surprise. Daryl’s eyes met mine for only a split second before he lifted his crossbow in my direction. “Get the hell back there, Harper!” he yelled before turning to the woman. “You better start talkin’ or you’re gonna have a much bigger problem than a gunshot wound.”

My sister approached the bars, gripping onto them tightly as she hissed, “Harper, just listen to Daryl, please?”

“Who died and made you the gun wielding boss of me?!” I snapped back.

“Mom and Dad.”


	9. Strong Enough

“How do you know we can trust her?” Adeline questioned as she paced within the small group that Beth, Axel, Daryl, Rick, Oscar (another inmate we’d stumbled upon), her, and myself had formed inside the cell block. “What if she’s with the people who took Glenn and Maggie?”

“Why are we even debating?” Beth replied, her eyes wide with worry for her sister. “We need to go and get them.”

Daryl shook his head at my side. “We ain’t debatin’. I’ll go after them.” His knuckles turned white around his crossbow. 

“From what Michonne told me, this place sounds pretty secure,” Rick added, placing his hands on his hips. A crease of concern indented the middle of his forehead. 

“I’ll go,” Beth offered.

Axel nodded. “Me too.”

“Count me in,” Oscar said. 

“Same.” Adeline nibbled on her bottom lip. She always did that when faced with a tough decision. 

“If my sister goes,” I said, “so do I.” 

Shaking his head, Rick took a small step from me. “I’m sorry, Harper, but one day of gun training with Daryl isn’t going to cut it. We don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into there. It would be best if you stayed behind and helped out with things around here.”

My mouth dropped as anger boiled in my gut. I looked to my sister for backup, but she avoided my constant glare. “Are you serious?” I hissed, turning back toward Rick. “This isn’t fair. I know how to shoot. I was prepared to shoot those men the other day! Tell him, Daryl!”

Instead of agreeing with me, Daryl shrugged nonchalantly, as if this wasn’t a big deal. “S’not my call.”

Placing his hands in his pockets, Rick gave me a stern look. “Its settled then. We’ll leave in the morning, and you’ll help Carol with whatever she needs help with here.”

o-o-o

“What the hell was that?” I snapped, leaning against the barred door to Daryl’s cell. He had picked the one in the very back corner and placed a blanket over the bars for privacy. Unfortunately for him, I had ripped them down in my storm of fury.

Daryl sighed from the bottom bed of his bunk and placed his arm over his eyes to block out the light lingering from the windows. “What do you want from me, girl?” he grumbled in annoyance. 

I lifted my arms in a sarcastic shrug. “Oh, I don’t know, Daryl. Some backup would’ve been nice. You know I can shoot. Just go convince Rick to—“

“You shot a walker once,” he interrupted without looking at me. “It wasn’t even movin’ and you were ten feet away. What makes you think you can shoot livin’ people?”

“This isn’t fair!”

Daryl finally sat up and clasped his fingers together, resting his elbows on his knees. “What,” he started, narrowing his eyes sideways at me, “makes you think anythin’ in the world is fair now? Oh, I forgot. You came from a stuck-up, hoity-toity, rich family, so everythin’ was fair to you, right?” He stood, his body rigid. “As long as daddy dearest gave you money, everythin’ was fucking great, wasn’t it?”

My hands moistened with sweat as I balled them into tight fists at my side. I grinded my teeth together painfully at an attempt to keep my mouth shut, but it ultimately failed. “Jealous, Dixon?” I spat. “That’s what your problem with me is, isn’t it? You’re jealous of me. What, did you grow up on the streets? Don’t know who your daddy is? You know, that wouldn’t surprise me. Why don’t you do something useful and go tell Rick to let me come?”

As quickly as the words flew from my mouth, I regretted them. Daryl lips twitched in a cynical smirk as he advanced closer to me. For a moment, I thought he was going to hit me, but I refused to shrink away from him. Instead, I glared him down.

He stopped only inches from my face. With a hoarse whisper, he told me, “I don’t take orders from no bitch Barbie doll.”

Only when his fist collided with the wall on his right did I jump in surprise. Daryl walked past me without another word. I didn’t see him again for the rest of the night.

o-o-o

“Let’s go, Harp,” Adeline whispered as she shook me awake. My eyes fluttered open and I reached over to wipe the trail of drool trickling down the side of my face. The sun beamed into our cell. I reached for my pillow and forced it over my head.

“Too early,” I groaned.

“We’re going to leave without you if you don’t get a move on.”

“What?”

She yanked the pillow from me, tossing it to the other side of the cell. I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the balls of my hands. “Rick wants you to come,” she explained. 

I stared at her in confusion. Was I dreaming? Or was this a sick joke that Daryl had talked her into? “Why?” I questioned. “He was so adamant about it yesterday. Why’d he change his mind?”

Adeline gave a soft shrug. A gun had already been strapped to her back. “I don’t know, but we’re wasting time. Come on.”

I hurried to dress into my everyday clothes, which consisted of a pair of dirty green shorts that cut off just below my knees and a black tank top. Considering I wore these clothes every day, they were torn in a few spots and smelled a little more horrid than I’d like, but I didn’t have anything else. I tossed my hair back into a tight ponytail and gave my newly acquired make-up a quick glance. If I would’ve had enough time, I would’ve dolled myself up a bit before leaving.

Everyone was outside to see us go. Carol gave me a soft smile as she informed me that Little Ass-Kicker had officially been named Judith, thanks to Carl. He grinned proudly when I told him it was a perfect name for her. 

Beth decided to stay back and help with Hershel. So, Rick, Adeline, Daryl, Axel, Michonne, Oscar, and myself piled into a small Hyundai Tucson. The pale green color reminded me of dentist offices.

As Rick drove, I continuously shifted my body weight between my sister and Axel, who kept trying to snake a hand between my thighs. While I ripped his fingers back, I glowered into the back of Daryl’s head.

“Question,” I called out after about ten minutes of silent driving. “Why does Dixon get the front seat?”

“Because you’re annoyin’, that’s why,” Daryl answered, staring straight ahead. Adeline let out a heavy breath as she watched out the window at the passing trees.

“At least I know why my daddy is,” I grumbled, slapping Axel’s hand away once again. “I swear to God, if you don’t knock it off, I’m going to rip it off.”

We continued on the same road for what felt like hours. Finally, Rick pulled to the side of the road and we stumbled out. As everyone readied their weapons, I was handed the same gun I used on my run with Daryl. His piercing blue eyes refused to stray from mine as he forced it into my hand.

“They have patrols,” Michonne informed us. “We’re better off on foot.”

“How far?” Rick asked, tilting his head back to look toward the sky. “Night’s coming.”

“A mile, maybe two.”

We unloaded the rest of the weaponry from the back of the car. Snarling sounded from behind us, but before I could have any time to feel afraid, Adeline stalked toward the walkers, ramming a knife into their skulls. I watched them drop before looking toward her in slight disgust. She paid no attention to me.

As we trekked through the woods, I followed close to the group. The sun’s heat beat down on us and I soon became tired. I craved my bed back at the prison, but I didn’t want to give away any signs that I was already wearing down. That would only give Daryl more ammo to spit at me the next chance he got. If we survived this, that is.

“Down!” Rick suddenly hissed. The rest of the group kneeled in silence, so I followed suit. Growling echoed from all around us. “Formation. No gunfire.”

His words repeated in my head. Formation? What formation? What was I supposed to do?

A knife was forced into my palm by Oscar, who raised a finger to his lips. The hilt trembled in my shaking hand as I faced an oncoming walker. With a soft grunt, I drove the blade right between the eyes before it got to close to me. Blood spurted from the wound and my stomach churned. I held back my need to puke as I pushed the body from my weapon.

We fought our way through the advancing herd, but I found myself backed up against a tree by three of the ugly creatures. A scream stuck in my throat as my eyes filled with tears. 

“Let’s go!” Daryl hissed, grabbing for my hand and yanking me to the side. He pushed the walkers over with his foot as we ran to catch up to the group. 

A small hut came into view. Daryl’s hand only tightened around mine as we came closer, watching Rick force the door open. Once we were inside, Michonne pulled the door shut behind us. I ripped my hand away from Daryl’s to cover my nose, trying not to gag at the rank scent that filled the room. 

“Ugh, what the hell is that?” Daryl questioned, covering his own nose with his hand. Flies buzzed about annoyingly as we swatted them from our faces again and again.

A flashlight settled on a rotting dog carcass in the corner of the room. Its snout had been decayed back; the teeth scattered around the mouth. They must’ve fallen out long ago. Skin tore at the abdomen, revealing greying innards that looked as if they were turning into a puddle of molded liquid.

Banging sounded from the outside as the walkers tried their hardest to get inside, to get to us. Their loud groans and moans only attracted more of their kind. 

“Who the hell are you?!”

My attention was ripped away from the windows as a man, rugged and ragged, shot up from the safety of the blankets he huddled under on the bed. Rick and Daryl both raised their weapons in defense, ready to strike at any moment. 

“We don’t mean any harm,” Rick told him, trying to sound as calm as possible. However, when the man lifted a gun toward him, the rest of our group pointed our weapons at his head. 

“Get out of my house!” the man shouted frantically.

“Okay, okay, but we can’t right now.”

“NOW!”

As he bellowed at us to leave his home, the walkers outside became more violent. Wooden boards were ripped from the windows and the walls sounded as if they were going to cave in on us. 

“I’m going to get my badge,” Rick breathlessly whispered, trying to prove to the man that he did indeed used to be a cop. “It’s in my pocket. Okay? Here I go.”

As he reached down, he pushed the barrel of the gun from his face. I yelped as the bang went off. My ears rang painfully, but when I saw where the bullet almost landed, my heart dropped into my stomach. If Daryl hadn’t moved to the right in the second that he did, his head would’ve been blown off.

Rick wrestled the man into submission for only a moment, but he slipped through his grasp and ran toward the door. We called for him to stop, to keep the door closed, but he refused to listen to us. In a swift motion, Michonne unsheathed her sword and delivered it straight through the man’s chest. He cried out in pain and crumbled to the ground.

As Daryl and Rick lifted the man’s body to feed him to the snarling walkers outside, I stood back and watched in horror. My knees wobbled and no matter how much I rubbed my palms off on my shirt, they still became damp the second I grabbed for my knife. 

I wouldn’t admit it, but I couldn’t help but think to myself: was I strong enough for this?


	10. The Damn Hero

“You okay, honey?” Axel whispered, placing a hand on my back. I doubled over, fighting off the urge to throw up as I tried my hardest to catch my breath. We’d been running for so long that my legs and lungs burned with exhaustion. Sweat beaded my forehead and dripped from my hair. 

I nodded, standing up straight and tilting my head back. All the air in my body felt as if it were stuck in my chest. Rick motioned for us from the barrier of a car. The two of us hurried to press our bodies against the cold metal, hiding from whatever was on the other side.

“A wall,” Adeline mouthed to me, peeking over the driver side window. The glass had been shattered out long ago. 

Pressing my mouth shut tight with my lips, I circled my head around the back of the car to see what she was talking about. I squinted, trying to look through the darkness that had settled over us two hours before. She was right; a makeshift wall comprised of broken wood, tires, and metal fencing had been erected. A large gate stood proudly in the middle. Men lingered at the top, guns held securely in their hands. Decaying walker bodies were scattered about the road in front of us. They must’ve been guarding the place. 

Beside me, Michonne shook her head, backing away from our group and disappearing into the trees behind us. Rick hissed after her, but she ignored him completely.

Rolling his eyes, he muttered, “We need to downsize. Get rid of anything you can’t run with.”

As the others dropped some of their guns, I made sure I had the knife Oscar had given me before. It was the only weapon I carried on me, but I wasn’t sure if that was an advantage. 

A twig snapped behind us and in an instant, guns were raised in the direction from which it came. Michonne glared at us, bringing her pointer finger to her lips in a sharp, “Shh.” She pointed to her left and waved her hand for us to follow. 

“Let’s go,” Daryl mumbled in my ear, giving me a soft push on the back. 

We followed the woman in complete silence. I held the knife at my chest, the tip pointed outward just in case I needed to swing it quickly. A backside door that had once been locked tightly slightly hung open, the open padlock hanging loosely from the chains. Michonne pushed it open, flinching at the high creak of the hinges. 

The building seemed oddly comforting. Pictures of the world before hung on the walls, sturdy bookshelves overflowed with magazines and novels, and the couches and chairs seemed to have been used often. I ran my fingertips along a table. No dust whatsoever.

“This is where you were held?” Rick whispered to Michonne, taking note of her expression of disgust. 

“I was questioned,” she replied.

Adeline and Oscar remained back near the door we came through, their weapons ready to shoot. I followed Daryl to the window and peeked through as he moved the curtain to the side. People roamed the streets in clan and proper clothing. Jealousy swirled inside me. What I wouldn’t do to get my hands on new clothes. 

“Thought you said there was a curfew,” Daryl commented, turning back toward Michonne. 

“The streets are packed during the day,” she explained, observing the people outside. “Those are stragglers.”

Gazing out the window behind me, Rick announced, “We can’t stay here any longer. We need to move.”

“They could be in his apartment,” Michonne suggested.

Daryl dropped the curtains, cutting off my lingering, bitter view of the untainted people outside. “What if they ain’t?” he demanded, giving her a confronting stare. 

“Look somewhere else,” she answered through gritted teeth.

Daryl, Rick, and Oscar circled the woman as Adeline and Axel stood at my side. They mumbled threats and questions at her – too low for us to hear. Maybe they wanted it that way. Even so, I wanted to push them from her. It was obvious she was doing everything she could to help us.

Finally, they tore away from her to form a huddle. As they talked amongst themselves, I approached Michonne, offering her a small smile.

“I’m sorry for them,” I whispered, jutting my chin toward the triad of men. 

“I don’t need your apology,” she shot back. Her words cut me as she avoided my gaze. Instead of yelling like I wanted to, I continued to force the smile on my face.

“You’re getting it anyway.”

“Hey,” Daryl hissed, grabbing my arm roughly. I struggled against him as he led me back toward my sister and Axel. “Stay away from her.”

“Piss off, Dixon,” I spat, yanking my arm from his grasp. A sharp gasp escaped my throat as the lock on the door began to jingle. Daryl firmly held my arm again, dragging me down behind the couch. To prevent me from making any noise, he pressed his hand to my mouth. 

The door swung open. Footsteps echoed in the room. Through my teary eyes, I could see that the other members of our group had also thrown themselves into stealthy hiding spots.

“Come on out now,” a man called. “I saw you through the window. Ain’t no use hidin’ from me.” He casually strolled toward the back where Rick had hid behind a curtain. Once he was close enough, the sheriff pinned him against the wall, holding his gun only inches from the man’s face. 

“Shut up. Get on your knees,” Rick ordered, throwing the man on the floor. Daryl stood, pulling me along with him. 

“You all right?” he asked, staring sideways at me. I only nodded, brushing off my clothes with my free hand. 

He left my side without hesitation to zip-tie the man at Rick’s orders. I watched in fear for the man as he was interrogated, but my knife never left my hand. Adeline, Michonne, Axel, and Oscar never lowered their weapons. Daryl’s crossbow never dropped from the man of the man’s head. When the butt of the crossbow collided with his head and I watched as the man slumped over, I backed from the group. 

What was I doing here with them? Adeline and I didn’t belong here. We were on our own mission when we were saved. What had happened to that? We weren’t killers, or even people who could cause harm to living beings. 

I stared at my sister, at the ferocious glower she locked on the man’s unconscious body. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Adeline did belong here. She was tough, much braver than me, and willing to kill someone at Rick’s command. I wasn’t. 

My lips began to quiver as they dragged the man into another room, locking the door as they closed it. I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but the words flew out before I was able to catch them. 

“Why did you do that?” I asked Daryl. He stopped pacing and gave me a questioning look. “Why did you knock him out like that? What if he wasn’t the one who took Glenn and Maggie?” Tears fled my eyes and I hurried to wipe them from my dirty face. 

“It was either him or us,” Daryl explained gravely. “Do you wanna be his damn hero and save him?” His crossbow lifted and pointed directly at my head. Fear struck me hard.

“N-No,” I whispered, flinching away from him.

“S’what I thought.” 

He lowered the crossbow, turned, and followed Rick out of the building.


	11. Attack

There was smoke. So much in fact, that I couldn’t see as my hands desperately grabbed for Maggie and Glenn as we rushed into the damp room. It smelled like burning hair, rotting flesh, and blood. I couldn’t differentiate the scent between tortured humans or walkers.

“Go, go, go!” Daryl hissed sharply into my ear as I held onto Maggie’s tiny arm. My other hand securely clasped in Daryl’s as he dragged us from the building. 

Shouts rang out from behind us, but they didn’t belong to any of our people. The men who were only seconds away from shooting the two barked and hollered bewildered orders to each other to find us and kill us by any means necessary. It only gave me more fuel to run as fast as I could away from them.

Painful tears clouded my eyes as we ran through the empty streets of Woodbury. As soon as we escaped the smoke, I wiped my eyes furiously to rid myself of them. We found ourselves in a neat house, cluttered with family pictures and other trinkets that had no purpose. Glenn leaned against a counter, his face bloodied and bruised. Maggie tore herself from my grasp and kneeled beside him, inspecting him as delicately as she could. 

“Ain’t no way out back here,” Daryl announced, frantically searching for a door. I stood at the window, peeking through the curtains. Michonne ran by. Instead of informing anyone, I kept my mouth sealed. So what if she decided to book it? She helped us with our mission. 

“How did you find us?” Maggie demanded to know. “Where’s that woman?!”

I nibbled on my lower lip as Rick glanced around at our group. “She was right behind us.”

Turning from the window, I spied Daryl glaring at me intently. I avoided his gaze by approaching my sister, who seemed too riled up to lower her gun. She seemed to be okay physically. Only a few cuts on her arms and a black eye forming. 

“Maybe she was a spy,” Oscar suggested. He nudged Axel with his shoulder. “Want us to go look for her?”

“No,” Rick answered, pointing toward Glenn. “We need to get him out of here. She’s on her own.”

My mouth dropped at his words. Michonne had done so much for us, and now we were just going to leave her? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t accept that.

“I’m going to go find her,” I said, heading toward the door. Daryl hurried to stand in front of me, blocking me completely. “Move, Dixon.”

“If you leave,” Rick started, approaching me from behind, “we won’t come and try to find you. You’ll be on your own too.”

“Harper, stop it,” Adeline scolded, her gun finally dropping to her side. “Just forget about her and let’s go.”

My hands curled into tight fists after I placed my knife back on my hip. My eyes never left Daryl’s, but not out of my stubborn ways. Something about his expression spiked my curiosity. He didn’t seem as angry as he usually did when he looked at me. Instead, I felt as if he was giving away a pleading stare.

“Okay,” I whispered, taking a step away from him. “But I think just leaving her out here is really screwed up.”

As the room flew into a hurricane of preparations, Daryl moved from the door slowly, almost as if he was expecting me to suddenly change my mind and run out. I shook my head slowly, trying to give away how disappointed I was. He glanced me up and down before returning to Rick’s side.

“Daryl,” Glenn managed to choke out. “It was Merle.”

The archer froze in his stance and turn toward the kid. “What?”

“It was. He did this.”

“You saw him?” Rick snapped.

“Face-to-face,” Glenn answered as Maggie wrapped a blanket around him. “He threw a walker at me. He was going to execute us.”

I watched Daryl stare at him in disbelief. His eyes fell to the floor, back to Glenn, then back down over and over again. His fingers trembled on his gun. Finally, he approached him, watching him as if Glenn were a wild animal rearing to attack.

“My brother’s this Governor?” he asked. Brother? Daryl had a brother?

“No,” Maggie answered. “It’s somebody else. Your brother is his lieutenant or something.”

“Does he know I’m still with you?”

“He does now. I’m sorry, Rick,” Glenn muttered. “We told him where the prison is. We couldn’t hold out.”

Rick kneeled in front of him, giving a wavering smile. “No need to apologize.”

Daryl tore himself away from the group, lost in his own daze. Watching the rest of us plan to escape, I counted down in my head from three before approaching him. 

“You okay?” I whispered as he turned from me. Instead of giving me a definite answer, he only stared at me for a few moments before taking his place back at Rick’s side. 

“If Merle’s around, I need to see ‘im,” he said as Rick and Maggie helped Glenn to his feet. Adeline motioned me over, so I hurried to join the group.

“Not now,” Rick replied. “We’re in hostile territory.”

“He’s my brother,” Daryl muttered desperately. “He ain’t gonna try—“

Shaking his head, Rick snapped, “Look at what he did. We need to get out of here now.”

As I watched the two, my heart ached for Daryl. If I was placed in his situation, I would be handling it a lot worse than he was. I turned toward Adeline, knowing that she was thinking the same thing. I couldn’t imagine being torn away from her like that.

“Maybe I can talk to ‘im, man,” Daryl suggested. “We could work somethin’ out.”

Rick pulled him to the side, whispering too low for the rest of us to hear. I could tell from Daryl’s expression, though, that he wasn’t getting his way. He looked torn, hurt, and worried. I’d never seen him this way before and I wasn’t sure if I liked it. It meant he wasn’t some gruff asshole who bullied everyone around like I originally thought, but at the same time, it meant he was in horrible amounts of pain.

They broke away and Rick ran over the plan once more. My body quivered in fear, but I tried to hide it as best I could. This whole mission gave away the fact that I was the weak link in our chain. I didn’t need any more signs to make obvious that I wasn’t cut out for killing people.

I pressed myself close to Glenn, his arm draped around my shoulder. Maggie nodded toward me at his other side. We were in charge of getting him to safety while the others fought through whatever was going to meet us on the streets. 

“Ready?” Daryl whispered, crouching a few feet from the door. Rick’s hand wrapped around the knob tightly. With a short whistle, the door flung open and Daryl chucked another gas grenade out.

“Let’s go!”

Gunshots, screaming, and Glenn’s panicked breathing were the only sounds I heard through the smoke. We trudged through quickly. I tried my hardest to keep my eyes glued on my sister, who didn’t hesitate to raise her gun and shoot anything that moved. I started to wonder when she had turned into a killer. 

Eventually, we found ourselves pressed into a small corridor that seemed to lead to a store. Maggie and I gently placed Glenn against the wall as the others reloaded their weapons. 

“How many are there?” I gasped, trying to fill my lungs with clean air. 

“I didn’t see!” Oscar answered.

“Don’t matter,” Daryl added, pushing bullets into the chamber of his gun. “We need to keep moving. There’s gonna be more of ‘em.”

Glenn groaned in pain, clutching his chest with his hand. Maggie adjusted the blanket around him, covering the wounds on his body as best she could. I kneeled next to him, wiping away the blood that dripped from the corners of his mouth with my shirt. Adeline shot off rounds as if they were nothing. Was she even hitting anyone or was she only being controlled by adrenaline and rage?

“You guys go on ahead,” Daryl ordered, standing to his feet. “I’ll cover fire.”

“No!” I snapped, grabbing on his hand to pull him back down to my eyelevel. “We need to stay together. What if something happens to you and we can’t help?”

“This really ain’t the time to be worryin’ ‘bout me, Harper,” Daryl grumbled, yanking his hand from me. “Just get ‘im to the car. That’s the only thing you need to worry ‘bout, got it?” I’m sure he could tell from my stern glower that I wasn’t buying his tough act. Hanging his head, he gave a defeated sigh before looking back at me. “I’ll be right behind you.”

I finally gave a small nod. Our group stood and Maggie and I reformed our grip on Glenn once more. After throwing another gas grenade, Daryl yelled at us to hurry and go, so we did. Stumbling along the sidewalk, I turned my head and squinted through the clouded air. It was hazy, but I could make out his figure running after us, shooting behind him the entire way.

The wall finally came into view, blocked by an old school bus. Oscar and Axel both jumped onto the hood, pulling on Glenn’s arms as Maggie and I pushed him up from his bottom. A gunshot sounded just above our heads. I let out a pitiful scream as Oscar’s body tumbled off the metal and onto the ground next to my feet. 

“Oscar!” I screamed, kneeling next to him. Blood seeped onto his shirt from his chest. I repeated his name, waiting for any sign of consciousness. Instead, soulless eyes stared back at me. 

Adeline yanked me to my feet as Maggie put a bullet in Oscar’s brain. “We have to go now!” my sister shrieked in my ear. I struggled against her, reaching for the man on the ground. She dragged me to the hood of the bus where Rick and Maggie hoisted me up. 

“Daryl!” Rick bellowed once I was safely on the top of the vehicle. 

Through the gunfire, we heard a faint, “Just go!”

Horror spread through me like a wildfire. I attempted to leap off the bus and run to him, but arms held me back. I thrashed against them as they hauled me over the wall.

I didn’t stop screaming Daryl’s name until my voice gave out.


	12. Open Arms

“We have to go back. Please, Rick,” I begged. I had long ago given up the fight against my tears. As quickly as I wiped them, they just kept flowing. “We have to go back for him. What if they captured him? What if they’re torturing him? _Please._ ”

Rick hung his head, leaning against a discarded car. Rust had begun to eat away at the metal. “Okay,” he finally gave in. I had been pleading with him for almost an hour, so when he finally agreed, my heart fluttered in anticipation. “You’re right. We need to go back, but we need people to stay here with Glenn. You—“

“No,” I cut him short. “Give me a gun, Rick. I’m coming with you.”

Adeline approached us, handing over her gun to me. “I’m getting tired to killing people,” she said nonchalantly. “I’ll stay back. You guys go.” The gun felt so cold and unwelcoming in my hands. I knew I would have to shoot people – innocent people – but this time, I had to stomach it. I couldn’t back down and just let them have Daryl. 

Rick loaded his weapon and double checked to make sure I had enough bullets to protect myself. Before I knew it, we were back in Woodbury, running through the empty, abandoned streets. Smoke rose from the side of the small town, so we hurried in that direction. Cheers and shouts echoed louder as we came closer. Rick pulled me toward an overturned van, peering over to see what was going on.

The people of Woodbury formed a semicircle around two men and a small group of walkers. Squinting hard, I could make out Daryl’s figure. Next to him stood a larger man whose right arm had been replaced with a metal coating. Back-to-back, they fought off the walkers that lunged at them, their teeth bared for flesh. I covered my mouth to quiet my cry of distress. 

I glanced at Rick and he nodded at me. Raising my gun over the vehicle, I peered through the sights, focusing on a walker that had been detained with a metal rod. Exhaling slowly, I squeezed the trigger, watching as the head exploded into bits of rotted brain tissue and skull pieces. The crowd gasped in surprise and as Rick hurled a gas grenade toward them, they flew into a frenzied panic. Screams erupted as people tried to escape from my shots. I relentlessly fired, aiming for anyone I could. Most of them missed, but as people dropped to the ground in a pool of their own blood, I found myself attacking without thinking. 

“Go, go!” Rick yelled over the gunfire. 

I threw my weapon over my back, sprinting into the crazed gathering. Coughing in the smoke, I called out Daryl’s name. A surprised yelp flew from my lips as a hand circled around my arm.

“Nice to see you finally grew a pair of balls,” Daryl’s gruff voice sounded in my ear. I suppressed a hysterical laugh as I dragged him back toward Rick, who was already on his way back to the rest of our group. 

My lungs burned from exhaustion and smoke that had entered. I slogged along, hauling Daryl’s arm over my shoulder. From my peripheral, I could see the other man behind us, constantly peeking over his shoulder to see if we were followed. In his regular hand, he carried Daryl’s crossbow proudly.

Once we reached the car that we had left our group at, my heart shattered when I realized that they were nowhere to be found. Rick stated that they probably encountered walkers and fled back to our car. I hoped, more than anything, that his words were true. 

We continued through the night. After a few hours, Daryl had taken his weight off me, saying that he was okay to walk. A deep gash was made obvious on his left leg, so I stayed close as he limped along. Rick and the man behind us constantly argued.

“You ain’t coming with us,” Rick sternly told him.

“You know, I think you owe me for lockin’ my ass up on that rooftop, Officer Friendly. Ya cost me my damn hand!” the man retorted. 

I glanced sideways at Daryl, who seemed to be concentrated on blocking the two out. “I’m guessing that’s Merle,” I whispered too low for anyone else to hear.

“How’d you guess?” he replied.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the way he argues for hours.” I let out a small giggle, but he didn’t find it as amusing as I did. “That, and you two have the same nose.”

o-o-o

“Glenn!” Rick roared as the car came into view the next morning. “Adeline! Maggie! Axel!”

Exhaustion had settled over me long before we reached the rest of our group. My eyelids drooped and my thoughts became jumbled. Somewhere along the trek, Daryl had taken the weight of my gun off my back. I hardly remembered it enough to think back on it. 

Adeline came running toward us as quickly as she could. Before I could realize what happened, she scooped me into a tight hug, whispering quickly, “I’m so glad you’re safe.”  


Glenn appeared behind her, followed by Michonne and Axel. Rick tried to tell him to calm down, but weapons were already drawn. Michonne unsheathed her blade and headed for Merle while Glenn drew a gun toward the same man. Daryl and Rick stood in his defense, yelling for everyone to calm down. Meanwhile, Adeline and I stood off to the side, refusing to jump into the middle of it.  


“He tried to kill me!” Michonne shrieked, glaring at Merle. 

“He helped us get out of there!” Daryl retorted.

“Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you!” Rick added.

“Hey, we both took our licks man,” Merle said with a chuckle. 

My mouth fell open as I glared at him. “You’re such a jackass!” I shouted.

Merle lifted his pointer finger toward me. “Keep yer mouth shut, bitch!”

In a flash, Daryl whipped around and delivered his fist into his brother’s stomach. “Don’t talk to her like that!” he shouted, watching as Merle doubled over. I blinked at Daryl in surprise. He was sticking up for me? Was the world ending for a second time? He turned back, pushing the barrel of Glenn’s gun from his face. “And get that thing out of my face!”

A pained, throaty laugh came from Merle as he struggled to stand on his feet. “Looks like you’ve gone native, little brother.” 

“No more than you hangin’ out with that psycho back there!” Daryl defended. 

“Oh yeah, man, he is a charmer. I’ve got to tell you that. Been puttin’ the wood to your girlfriend Andrea big time, baby,” he teased, winking toward Michonne. He licked his lips seductively, glancing her up and down. 

This man was the complete opposite of Daryl. Other than the nose, I couldn’t see how else they were related. Merle was downright disgusting. He was a pig in every sense of the word. I could never imagine Daryl acting the way he did. Not in a million years. 

“Andrea’s in Woodbury?” Glenn asked, looking between Rick and Merle. 

“Yeah,” Daryl answered, his voice much calmer. “Right next to the Governor.”

Michonne’s blade lifted once more, this time pointed toward Daryl. I instinctively reached for my knife, but before I could attack her with it, Adeline pulled me back. Rick threw a warning glower in my direction before turning to the enraged woman.

“You know Andrea?” he demanded to know. 

“Yep, she does,” Merle answered for her. His tone sounded as if this was all just one big joke. “Her and blondie spent all winter cuddled up in the forest. Mmm, yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, broke the jaws off so they don’t be bitin’ anythin’. Kept ‘em in chains. Kind of ironic, now that I think ‘bou—“

“Shut up, you dick!” I snapped, taking a step to shove the man over. He hardly budged, but as I moved away from him, he bit down on his lower lip and nodded. I cringed and began to open my mouth to spit at him, but Daryl grabbed my arm and forced me away from his brother. 

“So, whatcha going to do now, sheriff?” Merle asked, turning his attention (thankfully) away from me. “Surrounded by a bunch of lairs, cowards, and dumb blonde bitches.”

“Shut up!” Rick bellowed.

Giving a spiteful laugh, Merle glanced around at our group. I resisted my urge to deliver my fist right into his face. “Look at this pathetic sight. All these guns and no bullets.”  
Daryl released me to place his face only inches from his brother’s. “I said, SHUT UP!”

“SHUT UP YOURSELF, YOU BUNCH OF PUS—“

With the hilt of his knife, Rick slammed it into Merle’s neck. The man collapsed on the ground in a loud thump. For a moment, Daryl and Rick stared each other down. I became worried that they would start to fight, but when the archer gave a grateful smirk, I sighed in relief.

o-o-o

“Sorry ‘bout my brother,” Daryl murmured as he approached me. I sat in the car with the door open, rubbing Neosporin into the cuts on my hands and my arms. He leaned against the metal, staring into the woods where we had left Merle. After scouting the area and seeing no walkers, it was a unanimous decision to give him a few hours of unconscious timeout. We all needed a break from him.

“Don’t worry about it,” I answered, curling a lock of grimy hair behind my ears. “That’s the great thing about family. You love them, but you don’t have to like them.”

Giving a resentful scoff, he nodded. “Ain’t that the truth.”

I gazed at his hands, which looked so much worse than mine. “Here.” I took hold of his left hand, squeezing the clear gel onto his cuts. Gently, I rubbed it in with the pad of my fingers. I half-expected him to flinch away from my touch, but he eased into it instead. Feeling his eyes on me, my face began to heat up with embarrassment. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled once I was finished. He continued to rest his hand in mine. “And uh, thanks for, you know, savin’ my ass back there. Rick told me how much you bugged him to go back.”

“It just didn’t feel right leaving you back there,” I answered honestly, refusing to look up at him.

Finally, he took his hand from mine. “You’re not as worthless as I thought.”

o-o-o

“Wait, what? You’re leaving?”

I stumbled after Daryl, stopping only when my arms latched around his bicep. He stopped abruptly, turning to face me. I could hear Rick calling after him from the car. Rage swirled inside me, but I wasn’t sure who I was more bitter toward. Daryl, for leaving us when we needed him. Rick, for letting him leave. Merle, for being the reason why he was leaving. 

“No Merle, no me,” Daryl whispered, softly pulling himself from my grasp. “Take care of yourself.”

All of a sudden, I knew who I was the angriest at: myself. Only for the sole reason that I just watched him walk toward his brother, who welcomed him with an open arm, instead of chasing after him and not looking back.


	13. Revenge

“You know, I’m sure staring at his cell isn’t going to make you feel any better.”

Adeline gave a halfhearted sigh and leaned against the opposite side of the barred door from where I stood. I shook my head, knowing that she was right but refusing to admit it. The regret I felt remained in my gut even after two days since Daryl left with Merle. I was so worried that they would be attacked, even though Rick constantly reminded me that before they were on their own when the world went to shit and they were completely okay.

“I should’ve,” I started, my voice cracking, “I don’t know. I should’ve done something, said something to make him stay. We’re so screwed without him.”

“No,” my sister replied, absentmindedly braiding thin locks of her hair. “We aren’t screwed. Everyone here knows how to shoot a gun. Well, except Judith, but give it a few months and she’ll be killing walkers left and right.” She waited for a laugh from me or even a smile, but I could muster anything close to that. “Okay, not funny, I know. Harper, you can’t keep beating yourself up. Daryl is a grown man who has made his own decision. Wouldn’t you do the same if you were in his situation?”

I pondered that for a long time and eventually came to the conclusion that I would. Before we stumbled upon the group, it was just us. Adeline was the only reason why I stayed alive, and I was her only reason. Even now, if she decided to leave, I would follow her in a heartbeat.

“Come on,” she whispered, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. As she led me away from the cell, I could hear her gun thumping against her back. “Let’s go play with the baby.”

o-o-o

I found myself staring into the cellblock common area where Adeline and I had first been detained when we met with the group. New people gathered in it now: a son and father, and a brother and a sister. From behind me, I could hear the clicking of Hershel’s crutches. The entire group was coming to greet them.

As the barred doors opened, I tightened my fingers around the gun I was given. Adeline stood at my side, mimicking my movements. Rick took the lead, approaching the African American man who had instantly held out his hand. 

“I’m Tyreese,” he said with a soft smile. His hand dropped back to his side when the handshake wasn’t returned. 

“Sasha, Ben, Allen,” Hershel introduced, pointing his left crutch at the other members of their group. 

“How did you get in?” Rick demanded to know. His hand lingered on the gun holstered on his hip.

“Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. The wall’s down,” Tyreese answered with a concerned gleam in his eyes. 

“That side’s completely overrun with walkers. How’d you get this far?” 

“We didn’t. We lost our friend Donna.”

“They were lost in the tombs,” Carl added from behind. 

Rick whipped around, a hint of anger flashing across his face. “You brought them here?!”

“He had no choice,” Hershel defended. 

Nodding to himself, Rick turned back toward the group of strangers. I met Sasha’s eyes and although she gave me a gentle grin, I tried my hardest to keep my face stoic. “I’m sorry about your friend,” Rick sincerely said. “We know what that’s like.”

“Hershel said you could use some extra hands,” Tyreese mentioned. “We’re no stranger to hard work. We’ll go out, get our own food, stay out of your hair. If you’ve got a problem with another group, we’ll help with that too. Anything to contribute.”

“No.”

I nibbled on the inside of my cheek, focusing on a pebble on the ground. I didn’t agree with Rick’s decision and listening to the pleading made it even worse. Why did he allow Adeline and me to stay so easily before? Why were we so different than the people standing in front of us?

Hershel eventually called Rick to his side and they fell into their own conversation. I shook my head slowly, finally lifting my gaze. Sasha watched me, her eyes begging me to change Rick’s mind. I wanted to tell her that there was nothing I could do, but my mouth couldn’t form the right words. 

“Why are you here?” Rick finally asked. At first, I thought he was speaking to the group, but he walked past them, staring up onto the catwalk above. “What do you want from me? Wh-Why are you – no. I can’t help you! GET OUT!”

Everyone seemed to flinch away from his voice. He turned back toward the new group, frantically pacing around them. My fingers trembled at his actions, but I made sure to avoid the trigger at all costs. There was no way I could ever shoot him. 

“GET OUT!” he hollered at Tyreese. “GET – GET OUT NOW!”

“Easy Rick,” Maggie whispered, lifting her hands to place them on his shoulder. She backed away as soon as he grabbed the gun at his hip.

“YOU DON’T BELONG HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!”

He continued to scream. I hurried toward Sasha, placing a hand on her back as I led her toward the exit of the building. “I’m so sorry for this,” I whispered. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. I’m so sorry.” The three men followed closely behind her as I pulled the door shut, locking it from the inside.

o-o-o

I woke to the sound of Judith’s cries. It was Adeline’s turn to care for her, but her vacant bed gave away that she was using the bathroom or was needed somewhere else. I hurried to crawl from the bed and scoop the baby from her makeshift cradle.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, sweetheart,” I cooed, bouncing her with my stride as I entered the common area. I rummaged through bags of items that were obtained on runs until formula collided with my palm. Preparing it with a baby in my arms was so much more difficult than without.

Eventually, I placed the rubber nipple into her mouth and watched her wrap her tiny lips around it. Her crying instantly ceased as she sucked the formula from the bottle.  
“I don’t know,” I told her in a whispered voice, pacing the common area. “Little Ass-Kicker seems to fit you so much better than Judith.”

Thoughts of Daryl caused my chest to seize in pain. Before I knew it, I had walked back up into the cells, stopping in front of his. I sat on the bed, rocking back and forth with Judith in my arms. Voices echoed from the rest of the prison. I tried to block it out, but bits and pieces of their conversation still found it’s way to my ears. 

“…is unsecure…”

“…maybe you scared him off…”

“…walkers and humans…”

“…Daryl was captured…”

“…almost executed…”

“…not a good idea…”

Judith’s tiny head lolled to the side, the bottle following her lips. Formula leaked from her mouth and I wiped away at it with the bottom of my shirt. Without realizing it, a small grin had crept across my face, but quickly faded when Glenn’s face whipped around the corner. 

“There you are,” he whispered, trying not to wake the baby. “Would you mind keeping watch outside for a few hours?” 

I stood, holding the infant close to my chest. “Yeah, no problem,” I answered. “Just let me find Beth and get dressed.”

Once Judith was properly handed over to her other babysitter, I returned to my cell and fished through the pile of clothes I had thrown in the corner. Luckily, Lori and I had been about the same size, so her clothes were donated to me. I threw on dirty shorts and a shirt with some band I’d never heard of printed on the front, grabbed my gun, and headed out into the muggy air outside.

Within only a few minutes of standing inside the outer gate, stabbing the dead with rusted pipes and sharpened shovel handles, I craved the inside of the prison. Sweat beaded my forehead and drenched my armpits and chest. I wished I was searching the tombs with Adeline, Glenn, and Carl. I’m sure Carol was aware of it; she hummed happy tunes loud enough over the groans so I could hear her. 

“Carol?” I eventually said, grunting as I pulled my shovel back from the head of a large man dressed in a suit. He must’ve turned at a wedding.

“Hmm?”

“What do you think Daryl is doing right now?”

Carol stopped stabbing and allowed one side of the pipe to fall to the ground. She wiped her neck and face with her shirt before giving me a small shrug. “I don’t know,” she answered, glancing toward the surrounding woods. “Probably...eating a raw squirrel and then complaining to Merle when he gets stomach cramps.”

I turned from her, trying to hide my growing smile. “Yeah, probably,” I answered. “Or arguing with Merle over some stupid thing. They’ve probably already pissed each other off and killed each…” My words fell flat when I realized that that could’ve been the case. I didn’t know either of the brothers very well, but I didn’t know that Merle _wouldn’t_ kill Daryl.

Carol continued re-killing the walkers. “Don’t worry about that,” she told me. “Merle was with our group before. There isn’t a single thing in the world he wouldn’t do to keep his brother safe.”

Giving a quick nod, I went back to my work. Hours passed in the sweltering heat. My stomach growled with painful hunger and my tongue withered in thirst. Without realizing it, Beth had jogged down toward us, informing us that Glenn was going to leave.

“Where?” I asked, shielding my eyes from the sun with my arm. 

“I’m not sure,” she answered. As if on cue, the inner gate opened. One of the trucks approached us and the three of us hurried to open the outer gate. Beth picked up the pipe and stabbed through the walkers as Carol and I tended to closing the gate. Glenn ignored us as he drove past.

Rick’s wandering form from outside the gate caught my attention. I watched him carefully, studying the way his gaze flicked about, as if someone was calling his name from all different directions. Carol tugged on my arm, leading me away from the gate as Hershel hobbled down, calling his name. 

“Let’s not eavesdrop,” she suggested, handing me my discarded shovel handle. 

As much as I tried to follow her instructions, I couldn’t help but hear them. Glenn was lost in a whirlwind of rage and didn’t seem to have anything else on his mind except revenge against the Governor. All the while, Rick’s mind seemed to be spiraling downhill quickly. Hallucinations of Lori were becoming part of his daily life. I closed my eyes tightly, sighing as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn’t imagine seeing the faces of my loved ones who had been taken over. 

“Rick,” I called, ignoring Carol’s whispers for me to stop as I approached them. “Come inside, please. We don’t know what’s out there.”

The man shook his head, burning red rings of exhaustion surrounding his eyes. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

My fingers curled around the fence as he walked from us. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of Daryl walking away in the same manner. Why was the fact that he left so painful? I didn’t know the guy at all, but his absence left a strange yearning in the pit of my gut.

“Come on,” Hershel said, patting my shoulder gently. “You two come inside, get some food. Good job tod—“

I yelped as a gunshot flew overhead. Covering my ears, I looked toward the prison. Someone had been shot up above. I just couldn’t tell who. Before I knew it, Hershel had dragged me down to the ground as bullets landed in the dirt and ricocheted off rocks. Fumbling for my gun, I rolled onto my stomach, looking through the sights. 

Men scattered in the woods. I shot at them, but my bullets missed. Adrenaline surged through me, causing my hands to shake. Once I realized that all I was doing was wasting bullets, I pressed myself as close to the ground as I could, just listening to the gunshots and yelling. 

Finally, everything fell silent. In the distance, an engine roared. I lifted my head slowly, gasping in horror as a service truck drove through the gates only a few feet away from us. It stopped in the middle of the yard.

“What the hell?” I whispered, watching and waiting for something to happen. The back of the truck opened, letting loose at least twenty walkers. 

“Get the hell out of there!” Rick ordered us, pointing toward the prison. 

I hurried to my knees, exhaling as I aimed for the walkers. They were much easier to hit than living humans, so I was able to kill off six or seven of them. Glenn’s truck returned and hurried through the collapsed gate, running over as many walkers as possible. 

Helping Hershel to his feet, I placed my gun over my shoulder. “Come on,” I whispered, allowing his body to lean on mine. My legs wobbled painfully as we limped toward the immense building, protected only by Michonne as she ran through, slicing heads off the damned creatures. 

As much as we hurried, the prison never seemed to get any closer. I could hear the moans from behind me. I tried to hasten our pace, but Hershel’s body didn’t seem as cooperative as I’d hoped. In a flash, I was pushed to the ground. The rank smell of decaying flesh filled my nose as I held back a walker that had tackled me from the side. She snarled only inches from my face and I felt too weak to keep her from clawing at my skin. 

“I told you to take care of yourself!” an angry voice yelled from over the snapping noises of her teeth. A bolt pierced her skull from behind and I wasted no time pushing the disgusting woman from me. 

“Daryl,” I whispered, eyeing Merle suspiciously as he pulled Hershel from the ground. Daryl held out his free hand toward me, which I happily took.

“You ain’t doing a very good job of takin’ care of yourself, girl.”


	14. You're Good

“Were you bit?! Oh my God, please tell me you weren’t bit!” Adeline cried, her hands ripping apart my clothing as she searched for any signs that I would turn soon. I attempted to fight her off, but she was much too persistent. So instead, I grabbed her arms tightly. 

“Please stop,” I murmured. “I’m fine. Daryl killed it before anything happened.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see the archer lurking about. After the attack on the prison, Daryl had forced me into the building and practically threw me at my sister, telling her to hurry up and check for any bites. Naturally, she had flown into a panic and tried to strip me down right in front of him. I’d dragged her into our cell before anyone was able to see any parts of me I didn’t want shown. 

“I guess I should thank him then,” she whispered, but made sure her voice was loud enough for him to hear, “if it weren’t for the fact that if he hadn’t abandoned us, this probably wouldn’t have happened in the first place!” She ended her sentence in a shrieking yell. 

Daryl, who had been standing with his back toward us the entire time, slowly turned his head to throw an angry glare at Adeline. “Yeah?” he questioned. “Maybe if you two weren’t so damn worthless all the time, I wouldn’t have had to save Harper’s dumb ass!”

When we were younger, Adeline was always the one who had to get in the last word in arguments. I expected her to chase after him as he stomped down the stairs of the catwalk, but she simply let out a frustrated huff and planted her butt on the bed. “What an ass,” she mumbled to herself. 

Shaking my head, I hurried around the barred door and caught Daryl just as he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Hey, Dixon?” I called. He stopped, but didn’t turn to face me. “I just wanted to say thank you. I probably would’ve been turned already if it wasn’t for you.”

“Yeah,” he answered sardonically. “You would have.”

o-o-o

“We can’t leave.”

“We can’t stay here!”

I buried my head into my hands as I sat on the stairs. I had woken up with a headache and it just seemed to become more and more painful as the day progressed. Everyone’s bickering wasn’t helping it either. With every shout, I could feel the dull pain gather just above my left eye. 

“Look, if Rick says we’re not running, we’re not running!” Glenn announced, holding up his hands in an attempt to quiet everyone. It didn’t exactly work out in his favor.

“Nah,” Merle commented from the locked common area. “Better to live like rats.”

Adeline narrowed her eyes at the man. “Sounds to me like you’ve got a better idea.”

“Yeah. We should’ve slid out of here last night and lived to see another day. Lost that window, didn’t we? I’m sure he’s got scouts on every road out of this place by now.”

“We ain’t scared of that prick,” Daryl retorted, scowling at his older brother from the catwalk. His voice caused me to jolt in surprise. None of us had seen him all morning. 

“You should be. That truck through the fence thing? That was just him ringin’ the doorbell.”

Rolling her eyes, Adeline pointed a finger toward Merle. “How do we even know we can trust this guy? He almost killed Glenn, for God’s sake.” Her finger turned to Daryl. “And how can we trust that Daryl isn’t on his side? Maybe they’re both trying to get us out in the open so the Governor can get at us?”

I’m sure the inside of my cheek began to bleed from how much I nervously chewed at it as Rick slowly approached my sister. I hurried to my feet, readying myself to snatch the gun from Glenn’s hand and put a bullet through the sheriff, but Carol placed a hand on my back in reassurance. 

“Daryl and Merle were with us at the beginning, and Daryl was with us the entire time,” Rick growled. Adeline’s eyes never left his, but I could tell from the way her nostrils flared and how tightly her arms crossed over her chest that she was terrified. “We’ve known you and your sister for only three weeks. What makes me think we can trust you two? Maybe you’ve been sided with the Governor from the beginning?”

“You’re joking, right?” I demanded to know. “You really think we sided with that man? We didn’t even know who he was until we joined up with you!”

Merle let out an annoying, wispy laugh. “Guess trust doesn’t come too easily ‘round this group, huh?”

“Can we put him in the other cell block?” Maggie asked in aggravation. 

“No, he’s got a point about the Governor,” Daryl added, propping his elbows on the metal railing. 

“We need to leave,” Hershel suggested. “Axel is dead because of him. We can’t just sit here.” 

Rick tapped his fingers eagerly on his gun before turning from the group. He refused to acknowledge that Adeline existed anymore. Instead, he strolled toward Merle, who backed away from the door in expectance that Rick would let him out. 

Hershel’s booming voice frightened me. “GET BACK HERE!” he ordered. I shrunk away from him, shuffling closer to Carol. “You’re slipping, Rick. We’ve all seen it. We understand why, but now is not the time. You once said this isn’t a democracy. Now you have to own up to that. I put my family’s lives in your hands, so get your head clear and do something.”

I couldn’t stand to be around these people anymore. I turned from them, ignoring the arguing that continued, and retreated to my cell. More than anything, I wished they had real doors. Their voices echoed directly to me. Lying on the bed, I placed my pillow over my head, pretending that it would help to block them out. The shouts, name-calling, and sarcastic laughs only stopped when I allowed myself to slip away into sleep.

o-o-o

“Hey.” I felt a light tap on my shoulder. “Hey, wake up.”

Disoriented and still suffering from my persistent headache, I cracked my eyes open, shielding them from the sunlight that was peering in from the window. Daryl stood above me, a rattling bottle of pills in his hand. As soon as his blue eyes met mine, I thought back to the group gathering earlier. 

“What do you want?” I snapped. 

“Your sister said you have a headache. I ain’t got any water, so you have to dry swallow these.”

I sat up and snatched the bottle from his hand. The pale orange color of the plastic automatically turned me off to them, but when I read the word “OxyContin” that had been Sharpied on, I wasted no time handing it back to him. “No thank you,” I said. “This has ‘drug dealer’ written all over it.”

Daryl shook his head, pushing my legs over toward the wall to make room for himself. He opened the bottle and shook a few pills onto his hand. “It ain’t what it says on the bottle. It’s just Tylenol. I didn’t have anythin’ else to put them in.”

He held his hand out toward me, urging with his eyes for me to open my palm. I hesitated, but ultimately let the pills fall onto my hand. Before I had time to regret it, I threw them in my mouth and swallowed hard. After waiting for a few moments to see if my body would burst into convulsions or anything like that, I gave him a small nod. 

“Thank you,” I muttered, “for helping me once again.”

“Yeah.” Daryl used the supporting bars of the top bunk to pull himself up. I watched him as he headed toward the rest of the cell block, studying the tattoo on his left shoulder blade that peeked out from his winged vest. 

“Hey, Daryl,” I called just before he left my sight. He stopped and turned back to face me. “Do you think what Rick said is true? About Adeline and me siding with the Governor?”

Giving a small shake of his head, he pursed his lips together. “Nah,” he answered. “You’re kind of weak and can’t do shit for yourself, but I think you’re good.”


	15. Cigarette Smoke

Since the attack from the Governor, falling asleep and staying asleep became extremely hard to do. I stirred awake and glanced out at the window. The sun was just barely beginning to rise -- no later than five in the morning if I had to take a guess. 

Adeline’s soft snores sounded from the lower bunk as I tried to make my way onto the floor as quietly as I could. Leaving the cell, I grabbed for her rifle that leaned against the wall. I hated when she left it there. It just seemed too casual for something that could end a life in less than a second. 

“Takin’ a walk, sweet thang?” Merle commented as I opened the door to the common area. I shot him a cold glare, taking mind to keep my finger on the trigger of the gun at all times. He sat huddled in the corner. It looked as if he hadn’t slept all night; bags of exhaustion drooped below his eyes in a way that reminded me much of Daryl. A devious smirk planted on his cracked, dry lips. 

“It would be in your better interest to keep that big mouth of yours shut,” I threatened, yanking the door to the prison open as harshly as I could. His annoying laughter haunted my ears as I closed it behind me. 

The crisp, cold air smacked against my face as soon as I stepped outside. If it had not been for the monotone groans of the walkers down below, the morning would have been peaceful. Part of me craved for a cup of coffee and a clichéd book. Instead, I held a rifle and tasted only the foul leftovers of squirrel from the night before. 

A cloud of smoke wafted across my face. I turned from it, curling my nose at the smell. Cigarette smoke had never been one of my favorite scents. Instead of moving from it, I turned the corner, eyeing the source. Daryl stood, leaned against the brick wall, a half-finished cigarette between his fingers. His eyes remained closed as he brought it to his lips, inhaled, and exhaled another puff of smoke. 

“Isn’t it a little early to be destroying your lungs?” I questioned, giving a boastful smirk. Daryl’s eyes cracked open, glanced me over, then closed once more.

“Never too early.”

I turned my back to him, placing my focus on the walkers. They didn’t seem to notice our location, but even if they did, we were safe where we were. Another chainlink fence stood between us and them. 

“Why are you smoking out here?” I asked as I stuck a few of my fingers through the fence. “Rick doesn’t have a problem with it.”

“Didn’t want to smoke ‘round Little Ass-Kicker,” Daryl answered. “And my damn brother bums ‘em off me.”

“Can I have one?”

My question surprised even me. It seemed as if the words flew from my mouth with a mind of their own. Even still, I didn’t take it back. I only watched him sideways through the grungy curtain of my hair. He gave me a strange look, probably thinking I was joking with him.

“I tell you that my brother bums ‘em off me, and now you’re wantin’ to bum one?” he inquired suspiciously. “You even smoke before?”

I shook my head before glancing back at the wandering dead. “No,” I replied truthfully. “But I mean, the world has already gone to hell. Might as well start now.”

Daryl took the cigarette from his lips and handed it toward me. Awkwardly, I took it between my pointer and middle finger like I’d seen people on the streets and in movies do and placed it in my mouth. My chest burned as I inhaled, followed by embarrassing and loud coughing. I turned from him, covering my mouth with one hand while handing him back his death stick. 

Through my teary eyes, I could see the arrogant smirk on his lips as he took another drag from the cigarette. He made it look so easy that I almost wanted to try it again just to prove to him that I could do it, but the horrid taste in my mouth told me to rethink my next actions. 

“That’s horrible,” I told him between short coughs. “Why do you even do that?”

Daryl gave me a halfhearted shrug, looking back out toward the walkers. “Can’t hardly find these anymore, so I gotta enjoy ‘em when I can.” He inhaled once more, closing his eyes in indulgence. “Even with the end of the world, smokin’ is still hard to quit.”

I hoisted Adeline’s gun strap over my shoulder once more before shaking my head at him. “If the walkers don’t kill you, those will,” I warned him, only half-jokingly. 

Another shrug. “Everyone’s gotta go out somehow.”

o-o-o

“How many didja shoot?”

“Shut up, Merle.”

“Let me take a guess,” Merle taunted from his unyielding spot in the corner. He tapped his finger on his lips, seemingly in deep thought as he studied me. I tried to hurry to unlock the barred door to the rest of the cell block. “Seeing as you aren’t shakin’ or cryin’ or any shit like that, I’d have to say you ain’t killed a damn thing.”

Something about him made my blood come to a boil almost instantly. I wanted to punch him spare in the jaw, but his bladed hand intimidated me. Although, a bullet probably did travel fast than he could, but I couldn’t do that to Daryl. 

“Out there makin’ out with my baby brother, weren’t you?”

The key ring that I had borrowed from Adeline fell to the floor with an echoing clank. Face on fire, I rushed to pick them from the concrete. “No,” I told him without turning toward him. “I didn’t even know he was out there.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see him stand and lean against the wall behind him. “Uh-huh,” he muttered. “I’ll believe that as soon as I see monkeys flyin’ and shit. I’ve seen the way you look at ‘im. You wanna get all up his business, huh?”

“Shut up, Merle,” I growled through gritted teeth, my shaking hands desperately trying to push the right key through the hole. There were only three keys, but I couldn’t calm myself enough to aim straight. 

“Ain’t a wasted effort, I’ll tell you that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You two’re like a couple of horny 15-year-olds. Ain’t gonna say shit to each other, but you’re gonna undress him with your eyes all you damn well please.”

Tears of anger, humiliation, and frustration filled my eyes. I wiped at them with the sleeve of my shirt before finally inserting the right key in. The door I had just come through opened and Daryl entered, stashing an unfinished cigarette back into the pack. He stopped, eyed Merle and me, then asked, “The hell’s going on?”

Merle shook his head, using the wall to support himself as he slid back down onto his butt. “Aw, nothin’ much, little brother. Just havin’ a friendly chat with Harper.”

I refused to turn to look at him or even acknowledge his presence, but at the same time, I quivered with rage. Only when Daryl’s hand curled around mine to push the key to the side did I move. I glanced up at him. He returned my stare with curiosity. I knew he didn’t believe his brother. 

“If you hurry,” he muttered under his breath, “you could probably sleep for another hour before the baby starts cryin’.” 

His eyes urged me to leave immediately and I didn’t question it.


	16. Defense

“Maggie, Harper, I’m going to need you two on watch,” Rick ordered, handing me a gun of my own. It was almost the exact same as my sister’s, just with a few more scrapes and nicks. I gave a quick nod, wrapping the strap around myself. 

“I could get up in the guard tower,” Daryl suggested as he pulled his winged vest over his arms, making his way down from the catwalk. I could still taste the cigarette on my tongue from a few hours before. “Take out half the walkers, give ‘em a fightin’ chance to fix the fence.”

While they planned over how to remedy our current situation, Maggie checked my gun to make sure it was fully loaded. She smiled to herself as Judith’s short cry echoed from Beth’s cell. She and Adeline had spent the morning getting her bathed as best they could with what little water bottles we had left and changed with the remainder of the diapers. Daryl had already volunteered to make another run for more later in the day and I took the first chance I could to go with him.

“We’re trapped in here,” Glenn announced, his voice tight with animosity. “There’s barely any food or water or ammo.”

“Been here before. We’ll be all right,” Daryl answered. 

“That’s when it was just us, before there was a snake in the nest.”

“I agree with Glenn,” I said, my words flying from my mouth before I had the chance to take them back. Merle’s prodding words came back to my mind as Daryl’s eyes narrowed into a glower. “Having more people here is making it harder to keep supplies.”

Before I could step away, the man was only inches from my face. Maggie let the gun hang by my side as she moved away from us, but ready to hold either one of us back from killing each other if needed. “Why don’t we get rid of your dumb ass then?” Daryl snapped. “We really gotta go through this shit again? Merle’s stayin’ here. He’s with us now. Get used to it, Barbie.”

Rick grabbed at his arm. “Dary—“

“All ya’ll,” Daryl added before yanking his arm away. He turned his back to us and made his way back up the catwalk. Although I refused to look at him, I could feel his glare on me from above.

Maggie placed a hand on my back, offering a sympathetic smile. “You okay?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” I answered, clearing my throat and hoisting the gun to my back. “Just learning what ticks Daryl off.”

o-o-o

“Its bothering you, isn’t it?” Carl asked, the binoculars pressed hard against his eyes. I peered through the sights of my own gun on his left while Maggie mirrored me on his right. We stood where Daryl and I had shared our cigarette moment that morning and oddly enough, I found myself wanting to try another one.

“What is?” I replied. 

“Merle being here.”

“No,” I lied before letting out a heavy sigh. “Well, yeah. I don’t know. I think so. Its just that he’s so rude and disgusting and crude and—“

Maggie cut me off. “You aren’t used to people like that, huh?”

“Not at all.” I focused on a single walker: a woman who looked to be about my age wearing nursing scrubs. For a moment, I thought it to be ironic, but I knew better than to think that some people were more immune than others. “I’ve never had to deal with people like him or like Daryl, for that matter.”

Maggie lowered her gun, giving me a scrutinizing stare. “Who were you with before Rick and Daryl found you two?”

Their faces flashed in my mind. A swirling, painful ball of grief settled in my gut before I answered her. “My father was the first one to become infected. He got to my mother the same night. Our butler was able to kill both of them before I even realized what was going on, but Adeline already knew. She was already prepared for something like this. She knew where our father hid his guns. She knew where all the spare canned food was. She just knew. So, we followed her lead until…”

I lowered my gun to wipe at my eyes with the backs of my hands. As much as I tried to block out their memory, it always came back in short waves of sorrow, swallowing me and retreating just as quickly as the ocean on a shoreline. 

“Did he die?” Carl inquired. “Your butler, I mean.”

“Yeah,” I replied. “About a week before you guys found us. It happened while we were sleeping. He screamed loud enough to wake us up and told us to go. I wanted to stay back and help, but Adeline dragged me away. I guess I would’ve been a goner if she hadn’t.”

“Where were you heading?”

“We were on our way—“

“Hey, there’s something weird out there,” he interrupted, lifting a finger to point toward the surrounding forest. Maggie and I hurried to lift our guns again, following his direction through the sights.

It was a woman – a _living_ woman – trudging through the bushes with a walker in front of her. The walker was held with an elongated clasp, the arms and jaw missing from the body. Who exactly was this lady and how was she able to capture a walker like that?

Maggie turned to Carl and whispered, “Andrea. Get your dad and the others.”

o-o-o

“You all live here?” Andrea asked. She had hurried to change the subject of everyone we had lost when it became apparent that nobody wanted to speak about it. Adeline and Beth’s voices echoed into the common area as they sang lullabies to Judith, trying their hardest to get her to sleep. The infant was hungry and we were scraping the bottom of the barrel to find her anything to eat.

“Here and the cell block,” Glenn answered, his arms crossed over his chest defensively. 

Nobody had completely lowered their walls since Andrea entered the building. I kept my hands on my gun at all times, Merle watched her like we watched him, Daryl held his crossbow proudly, and even Rick made it a point to keep at least a finger on his pistol at his side. 

Andrea was a petite woman, probably in her early thirties. Her hair reminded me much of my own: blonde, thick, and dirty as all hell. Her clothes, though, were tight-fitting, but looked comfortable. It was no secret that she had been living in the lap of luxury for quite some time. 

“In there?” she questioned, lifting a finger toward the source of singing. “Can I go in?” Without waiting for an answer, she started toward the barred door. Daryl and I, almost as if we had rehearsed it, stood to block her movements.

“I won’t allow that,” Rick told her from Hershel’s side. 

“I’m not an enemy!” she retorted, her eyes focused solely on mine. I refused to lower my gaze.

“We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend decided to come and tear down the fence with a truck and shoot us up,” he explained to her.

“He even killed one of ours,” I threw in, biting the inside of my cheek. Even though he was annoying and creepy, I missed Axel terribly. He was the only one of the group who seemed to try to make everyone else laugh at his own expense. 

Andrea’s eyes widened before she turned and looked at Rick. “He said you fired first.”

“Well, he’s lying.”

She glanced around desperately, meeting everyone’s accusing stare one at a time. “I didn’t even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out. I came as soon as I found out.”

“That was days ago.”

Michonne, who had been lurking about the room the entire time we questioned Andrea, finally stepped forward. She leaned against the wall, a smug expression written clearly on her face. Once the blonde’s attention turned from us, Daryl took a sat on the top of the table next to him. Hesitantly, I sat on the adjoining chair. 

“What have you told them?” Andrea demanded to know from the samurai, who gave a nonchalant shrug.

“Nothing,” she answered. 

“I don’t get it,” Andrea called, tears blurring her vision as she turned to face us. “I left Atlanta with you people and now I’m the odd man out? And who the hell are you?” She lifted a bitter finger toward me.

I stood, anger instantly filling me as my mouth opened to yell out whatever popped into my mind. Before I could, however, Daryl put a hand on my shoulder to silence me and answered, “Ain’t none of your damn business who she is. She sure as hell ain’t betrayed us.”

Absolutely confused, I turned and gave him a questioning look. He seemed too busy waiting for Andrea to argue against him to pay attention to me. Just a few hours ago, he was yelling in my face and now he’s defending me? Daryl Dixon certainly was a book that changed languages every minute.

“The Governor almost killed Michonne and he would’ve killed us,” Glenn tried explaining to her, but before he could continue, Andrea lifted her hand toward Merle.

“With his finger on the trigger! Isn’t he the one who kidnapped you, who beat you?” As if giving up, she covered her mouth with her hands and shut her eyes tightly. “Look,” she continued, dropping her hands, “I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done, but I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out.”

“There’s nothing to work out,” Rick told her. “We’re going to kill him. I don’t know how or when, but we will.”

“We can settle this.” Her voice sounded pathetic, defeated. “There is room at Woodbury for all of you.”

For the first time since our group gathered, Merle opened his mouth in his usual raspy, annoying chortle. “You should know better than that.”

“What makes you think this man wants to negotiate?” Hershel asked. “Did he say that?”

“No.”

“Then what are you trying to do?” I said, finally allowing my body to relax enough to sit back down near Daryl’s feet. “The Governor sure as hell didn’t send you. What if you’re just making everything worse?”

Andrea scowled at me, pushing her shoulders back. If she thought it made me feel intimidated, she was wrong. Something about her irked me and I wasn’t about to just stand down and cower in her presence. “These people are my friends,” she explained. “I was with them probably much longer than you’ve been with them. I came here to tell you that he’s gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They’re training to attack.”

“And you wanted us to go back with you?” I reproached. “Go back to what? A town full of pissed off people ready to kill us at the snap of the Governor’s fingers? Are you insane?”

“Tell you what,” Daryl added, tapping his foot against my thigh to signal me to calm down, “next time you see the Governor, you tell him I’m gonna take his other eye.”

“We’ve taken too much shit for too long,” Glenn said. “He wants a war? He’s got one.”

Desperately, Andrea turned to Rick. “If you don’t sit down and try to work this out, I don’t know what’s going to happen. He has a whole town. Look at you.” Something in her eyes changed as she turned her attention back toward the rest of us. Something fake. Something indifferent. “You’ve all lost so much. You can’t stand alone anymore.”

“If these people are your friends,” I started, standing once more, “then why don’t you help us out?”

“Harper’s right,” Rick said. “You want to make this right, get us inside.”

“No.”

“Then we have nothin’ to talk about.” 

Rick walked from her, ignoring her pleas for the innocent people inside the town. Once the heavy iron doors slammed shut, her eyes met mine once more in a furious glower. “If you would’ve just kept your damn mouth shut, gir—“

Daryl stood, gently placing a hand on her shoulder and shoving her from me. “Don’t get your panties in a wad just ‘cause your little plan didn’t work, Andrea,” he warned.

Her eyes never left mine as Daryl grabbed my arm and led me from her.


	17. Hold On

The tension that settled over the group as Andrea said her goodbyes to Rick was almost too uncomfortable to bear. We all watched her like hawks, still not entirely trusting her but trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. She gave a soft smile to our leader, but the setting sun blinded his vision of it. Rick continued to stare at her with cold eyes. 

Adeline and I stood at the gates, ready to pull them open for the car that we were giving her to go back to Woodbury in. I thought it was a horrible idea. Cars were beginning to become hard to come by; most of them were either out of fuel or had their insides stolen by ravagers along the roads. Still, the majority of the group decided for it, so that was that.

“Well, take care,” Andrea muttered, walking toward the driver’s side of the car. As she sat in the seat, her eyes connected with mine for a brief moment and all my bitter feelings came rushing back. I couldn’t find it in myself to trust her. 

I looked away, focusing on something else. Unfortunately, that something else was Daryl. Although our argument happened over three hours ago, I still felt some kind of irritation with him. More than anything, I just wanted him to explain why I was the brunt of all his rage. I wanted to know if it was personal or if I was unknowingly doing things to make him mad.

“Andrea,” Rick said, stopping her from starting the car. He approached the window and handed her a small pocket knife and a hand gun. “Be careful.”

Starting the engine, she nodded. “You, too.”

As soon as she drove the car past the gate, I hurried to pull my side of the gate shut. Adeline’s longing gaze struck me as I glanced toward her. “Are you going to shut it or are we just going to invite the walkers in?” I asked, snapping her from her thoughts. Without a word, she slammed her side closed.

o-o-o

From my cell, I could hear Hershel’s small coughs, Judith’s short cries, and the crackle of the fire that Beth had started. The day felt as though it had dragged on for weeks, causing me to feel more exhausted than I probably was. Interaction with the group was one of the very last things I wanted so I kept myself away to linger in my own thoughts.

As much as Carol tried convincing me that Andrea was good just like everyone else, I couldn’t believe her. Something about the woman made me edgy and anxious, like being in a room with a snarling dog on a chain. The older woman told me that Andrea would stop the Governor from the inside and that I needed to put my faith in her. How could I do that when I felt so negatively about her?

I picked at the loose strings of the mattress above me as I allowed my mind to wander to Daryl. Thinking on it, maybe approaching him the way I did wasn’t such a good idea. The outcome I wanted definitely didn’t happen. 

It wasn’t that I wanted Daryl to spill his entire life story to me like we were childhood best friends. I just wanted to understand him so I knew why it was always me. If he chose both Adeline and me to take his anger out on, I wouldn’t be so curious, but that wasn’t the case.

A quick rap of knuckles on my cell door jolted my body up. The man that conquered my thoughts leaned against the cold metal, a can of Campbell’s soup in his hand. “Here,” he mumbled as he held it out for me. 

“I’m not hungry,” I lied, lying back on the bed and rolling to face the wall. 

“It’s the last one, so you should enjoy it.”

I heard the thin metal of the can hit the ground softly and Daryl’s footfalls leading back down the catwalk. As much as I didn’t want to give in to his gesture, my stomach forced me otherwise. With a loud grumble from my abdomen, I sat up and reached over to grab it from the floor. A plastic spoon had been placed in it and as I swirled it and brought it to my lips, I savored the taste of Minestrone on my tongue. 

“They hung a sign up in our town,” Beth’s voice echoed as she sang. Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs at her song. The girl had an amazing voice. “If you live it up, you won’t live it down.”

“That,” Daryl said, showing himself from around the corner once more. I stopped mid-bite and stared up at him. “That’s why you piss me off.”

“What?” I answered after swallowing. I wrapped my fingers around the warm can, trying to rid myself of the chills.

He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, nodding toward the can. “Unless I’m savin’ your life, you’re too damn proud to let me do anythin’ even a little nice for you because _you’re_ scared of _me._ ”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I placed the can between my feet. “Scared of you?” I repeated, standing straight. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Dixon.”

“Nah, I ain’t kiddin’ you, Barbie,” he kept on before I had a chance to continue. His words flew from his mouth loud enough for only me to hear. “You’re so goddamn spoiled that you’re used to people doin’ everythin’ for you, includin’ your sister. But now that the world’s gone to hell, you think if anyone does shit for you, you gotta owe ‘em. And you don’t want that.”

My mouth dropped at what he was saying just when I noticed that Beth’s voice seemed to be getting louder. “You’ve got to hold on, hold on. You’ve got to hold on. Take my hand, I’m standing right here. You’ve got to hold on.”

“That’s not true,” I defended, my voice wavering. As much as I didn’t want Daryl to be right, he was. I couldn’t stand knowing that I owed someone something. “You’re just—“

“This ain’t ‘bout me!” he snapped as he took a step closer. “This is ‘bout you! You don’t know what the hell you want from me ‘cause you think you’ll owe me somethin’. That’s it, isn’t it? The whole time you’ve been here, that’s been your problem with me. You’re confused and scared and you don’t know nothin’.”

I didn’t know what to say to him. I couldn’t think of anything to use to rebuke what he was telling me because honestly, he was right. All I could do was wrap my arms around myself, trying to create a barrier between the two of us.

Beth’s voice echoed through, haunting us between heavy glares and sweaty palms. “Everyone is looking for someone to blame. If you share my bed, you share my name. Well, go ahead and call the cops. You don’t meet nice girls in coffee shops. She said, ‘Baby, I still love you.’ Sometimes there’s nothing else left to do.”

“Just go away,” I told Daryl when I realized that he wasn’t going to back down. “Leave me alone.”

Daryl shook his head, a sarcastic huff coming from his mouth. “Hell no,” he told me. “Not ‘til you tell me what the hell you want from me, Harper.”

“I don’t want anything from you!” I retorted, wiping furiously at the tears that freely fell from my eyes. “You think you know everything about me because you know one part of my past? Are you crazy? You don’t know anything about me!”

“And you think you know everythin’ about me ‘cause you talked to my brother.”

I shook my head, kicking the can of soup over as I tried to make my way past him. Before I could get through the doorway, however, Daryl moved in front of me, blocking me from leaving. I stood still for a moment, trying to gather myself.

“Move, Dixon.”

“Did I piss you off?” he asked mockingly. “Just tell me what you want from me so you ain’t confused anymore.”

My breaths came out in short hiccups as I turned toward him. I focused on a healing cut on his chest before lifting my gaze to his face. Intense blue eyes stared back at me, waiting for my words to sound. 

“I don’t,” I started. Before I continued, I thought my words over. “I just want you to stop being an asshole all the damn time toward me. And I want you to let people care about you and I want you to stop listening to everything Merle makes you believe because he isn’t right! I care about you, okay? I really do. And I don’t want you thinking that I don’t.”

I didn’t think my actions through, but once I pressed myself into him, allowing my head to fall onto his chest and my arms to wrap around his waist, I remembered the last time I did something like this. Just after Daryl had taught me to shoot and I landed my first hit, I had flung myself on him in an awkward hug, which was quickly rejected.

But this time was completely different. I felt his body tense at my touch. Before I could move away from him, though, his arm snaked around me, holding me tight against him. His chin rested on the top of my head.

“…hold on, hold on. You’ve got to hold on. Take my hand, I’m standing right here. You’ve got to hold on…”


	18. Plans

“What do you think is going to happen?” Adeline inquired, pulling another box of ramen noodles off the shelf. She kept her voice low; walkers roamed the outside streets and Daryl roamed the other side of the grocery store. 

Another day, another run. Our routine supply gatherings quickly became part of our life with the group. They came frequently and when they did, I always tried to volunteer myself to go. Life in the prison was safe, for the most part, but tiringly boring. Other than guarding the fence, pushing off the walkers, and tending to the pitiful garden, there wasn’t much else to do except think about our old lives and feel an overwhelming sense of melancholy.

“About what?” I answered as I turned a can of beans over in my palm, searching for an expiration date. The label had been worn and the only way I could identify the contents was by bringing it only centimeters from my face. When I didn’t find a date, I shrugged and tossed it into my backpack, feeling it land on another package of diapers we had found.

My sister nudged an empty cardboard box with her foot before lifting her gaze to my face. “This Governor guy. I mean, maybe Andrea was right. Maybe we should go live in Woodbury. Sounds like they’ve got it good there.”

I glanced around, eyeing Daryl’s figure to make sure he didn’t hear what she said. He seemed to be lost in his own world. “Are you listening to yourself?” I hissed as I approached Adeline. “You want to go live with the guy who shot up the prison and killed Axel? Are you forgetting what he did to Maggie and Glenn?”

She whirled around, her back facing me, as a cold expression fell over her face. She refused to say another word to me yet alone acknowledge I even existed. After a moment of painful silenced tension, I shook my head and continued to rummage through shelves of molded bread, broken glass, and half emptied boxes of food that left no trace. 

I swung my backpack over my shoulders and inspected my findings: peanut butter, spaghetti noodles, powdered milk, diapers, and rice. It seemed like a fruitful run, but when I thought about it in terms to our group’s size, my hopeful outlook quickly diminished. I closed the knapsack, slipping my arms back through the straps, and went on with my gathering. 

Coming to the “chips/soft drinks” aisle, I thought back to my mother. She was always so adamant about healthy eating that neither Adeline nor I ever got to experience what it was like to be a cavity-riddled kid who ate candy bars and drank soda every day. It was always water, celery sticks, and seaweed chips. As I made my way through the empty boxes and bags, I searched for anything that could still be considered edible. Unfortunately, I made it to the end of the aisle empty-handed. 

A short yelp flew from my mouth as I rounded the sharp corner. Walking into him, Daryl’s face became the cushion for my face. It instantaneously felt hot as I backed from him and smoothed out my dingy hair and clothes. 

“Watch where the hell you’re goin’,” he snapped and turned his back to me. “Find anythin’?”

“A few things, yeah,” I answered. No matter how hard I tried to rid the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment, it persistently stuck to me. “I found some food and more diapers. You?”

His reply was a halfhearted grunt. He began to walk from me, but when a loud clatter echoed throughout the store, he kneeled and hissed for me to hurry to him. I copied his movements, grabbing my gun from my waist as I scurried to his side. Silence settled over us for only a moment before shouting erupted. 

“Hell no! Find your own!” It was Adeline’s voice. 

My heart began to thump painfully in my chest. Someone had seen her and possibly attacked her. Or worse, they had captured her. Without thinking, I started full-speed down the nearest aisle, heading for her voice. Before I was able to get too far, however, Daryl’s fingers curled around the scruff of my shirt and yanked me back into him. We toppled onto the floor in a mess of struggling against each other.

“What’re you doin’?!” Daryl snapped in a low growl. He held my hands together by my wrists as I tried to thrash from him. “You run in there all crazy and shit, and they’ll kill her for sure.”

Tears of panic brimmed my eyes, but I knew he was right. If I charged at them, guns firing off every bullet I had left, it would put all three of us in a bad situation. I looked at Daryl for a plan – anything that could save my sister and get us out without being killed. 

“Remember when I threw you into those guys back at the sportin’ goods store?” Daryl asked, his voice sounding much quicker than I was used to hearing. “Well, do you?” I could only nod. “We’re gonna do the same thing.”

o-o-o

“Hey!” I shouted, approaching the two men harassing my sister. As soon as my eyes settled on them, my heart plummeted. They were huge in both height and weight. Muscles seemed to bulge at every part of their clothing. One of them, a younger man with a black eye and a shaved head, held my sister in place while the other rummaged through her backpack.

The three of them turned to look at me and I could see Adeline smile in relief. She didn’t seem to be harmed in any way, but it was obvious from the way her hair looked as though a tornado rolled through that she put up quite a scuffle.

“Aw, lookit here, Troy,” the older man cooed as if he were talking to a baby. “We got another one of them models.”

“Let my sister go,” I demanded. Although I was scared shitless, I tried to reinforce as much confidence as I could into my voice. 

Adeline narrowed her eyes toward me, her smile disappearing into a stern frown. “Harper, get out of here!” she ordered. “Just get back in the car and leave!”

Troy let out a bark of a laugh. “Yeah, Harper,” he called mockingly, “why don’t you listen to your sister here? This don’t concern you, ‘less you’d rather get mixed up in it.” He threw a pathetic excuse of a seductive wink my way. A shiver of disgust ran through me. 

I lifted my hands in surrender as I began to cautiously walk toward them. “If you’re going to take my sister, take me too,” I offered. “She’s the only one I have left now.”

Fury exploded on my sister’s face as she continued to wriggle in Troy’s grasp. “What the _hel_ l are you doing?!” she screamed. “Just leave!” 

My eyes locked on the guns the men carried. They both sported a rifle on their backs along with a handgun on either side of their hips. Next to the intimidating pieces of metal, knives were carefully tied with worn strips of rope. This was not going to be easy.

“Get her, Mark,” Troy ordered. 

Without hesitation, the older man strolled toward me. I wanted to punch the sly grin on his face right off. Instead, I let him grab me roughly in the same manner that Troy held Adeline: his right arm around my throat and his left hand holding back my arms. He was so much bigger than me and I knew I had no chance to fight him off.

“Let her go!” my sister screamed, tears cascading down her cheeks. She seemed to have given up on trying to get away from Troy. 

I allowed Mark to drag me back toward the other two. From the corner of my eye, I saw Daryl run past an aisle toward the end. The man behind me shook with a guffaw, his hands sliding my shirt up over my head. 

“I like your thinkin’, dude,” Troy commented, trying to undress my sister. Unlike me, she found the energy to put up another struggle against him. My lips quivered with fear as I felt my bra clasp come undone against my bare back. 

A sharp gust of air flew by my face as an arrow stuck into Mark’s head. I felt his body slump against mine and watched as another landed right between Troy’s eyes. Blood spurted over both Adeline and me as we hurried away from the bodies. I pushed the larger man over, retrieving my clothing as I pressed my arm against my chest.

“Are you kidding me?” Adeline asked calmly. Then, her voice rose. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”

Daryl emerged from the shadows of the aisle, giving me a quick glance before turning his gaze to my furious sister. “That don’t seem like a nice ‘thank you’ to me,” he commented as he walked past me. Pulling the arrows from the heads of our attackers, he dutifully avoided even peeking at my body.

I turned around, facing the back of the store as I pulled my bra back on followed by my shirt. I stopped short, realizing that it had been ripped down the middle. Sighing heavily, I put it over my shoulders. At least I got a new vest out of the excursion. 

“You expect me to thank you when my sister almost got raped?” Adeline snapped, her hands balling into tight fists at her sides. Daryl tossed me my gun and gave her a tiny shrug.  
“Did you die? Nah, you didn’t. You’re welcome. Let’s go.”

Her body shaking with a storm of rage, she turned to me, looking for any help. I only smiled, knowing that Daryl was right. Sure, the plan was reckless and so many things could’ve gone wrong, but at least he had a plan whereas I just froze and panicked. And a small part of me knew that the plan would work because Daryl was there. 

After we loaded our guns and new resources into the trunk of the tiny car we’d driven here, I called, “Shotgun!” and hurried to the passenger’s side. I expected the two to be right behind me, but they remained at the back, glowering ferociously at each other. 

The only thing I could hear was Daryl’s tight voice saying, “I ain’t gonna let anythin’ happen to her, all right? Ever.”


	19. Not Even The Rain

Rain pelted the car as we sat idly on the side of the road. The damn thing had run out of gas long ago and with only five more miles to the prison, Daryl, Adeline, and I decided it would be best to wait out the terrible weather instead of trying to brave it on foot. My sister had fallen asleep in the back seat almost as soon as we came to a stop, leaving me to listen to Daryl’s low mumbles about how the hell rain could be falling from the sky in the middle of spring. 

“It happens,” I tried to reason as I kicked my feet up on the dashboard. “Maybe now Carol can get something growing in that garden of hers.”

Daryl didn’t seem to agree. He let out an annoyed sigh and rested his elbow on the windowsill of the driver’s side door. As he cracked open the window, his free hand fished in his vest pocket for the pack of cigarettes that seemed to be lasting forever.

“Can you not?” I hurried to ask before he had the chance to light it. He casted a sideways glare at me before pushing the cigarette back into the box. 

Aside from Adeline’s soft snores at the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the car, we sat in silence for longer than I could keep track of. I wished I could turn on the radio and hum along to some overplayed song, but I knew the only thing I could hear would be static. Thinking on it, though, I wasn’t sure if I preferred that or the maddening quiet between Daryl and me.

“Nice weather we’re having, huh?” I joked, receiving a soft grunt of acknowledgement in return. He seemed to be too busy inspecting a new cut on his right hand to be interested in anything I had to say. Still, I kept talking. “When we were little, Adeline would cry whenever a thunderstorm rolled over us. She hid under the blankets and refused to come out until our parents came and got her.”

Instead of ignoring me like I expected him to do, Daryl yawned softly and laced his fingers together behind his head. “I’d give Merle’s left nut to have thunderstorm be the only thing we were afraid of,” he answered gravely. I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or if there was some underlying meaning to his words. 

“Why not your left nut?” I questioned.

“’Cause it’s mine and I actually give a shit ‘bout my balls.”

My laugh almost jolted Adeline awake. I covered my mouth until it passed, then allowed it to fall into my lap. Settling my eyes on the rain outside, I placed my forehead on the cold window. Luckily the remaining air from the heater will lingered around the three of us, but I began to wonder how long it would last. 

“You have a pool at your house?” Daryl inquired, looking out his own window. The question caught me off guard.

“Yeah,” I answered. “We did. It was in the backyard.”

“Got a two-car garage?”

“Um, actually it was a four-car. Why’re you asking?”

He shook his head while shrugging. “Curious. What’d you do with that make-up you snagged from Cabela’s?”

I’d long-forgotten about the make-up. I wore it once, just before Daryl took off with his brother; just simple eye-liner, some eye shadow, and mascara. Instead of complimenting me like I was used to, Daryl only wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned away from me. At the time, I didn’t care much for his opinion of me, but the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me until eventually, I pushed his reaction from my mind completely. 

“Threw it out,” I replied bitterly. “It took up too much room in our cell.” I traced small designs onto the condensation on the windows. The cold was beginning to creep its way into the car; my ears and nose started to sting.

“Good,” Daryl said sharply. “It looked like shit on you.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I turned my head to glower at him. “God, shut the hell up, Dixon. Do you still have a prob—“

“I meant,” he interrupted, turning his own head to face me, “that you look better without it. Take the damn compliment, girl.”

And to think I almost missed it. “You didn’t call me Barbie,” I pointed out. 

As if my statement had embarrassed him, Daryl let out a huff and tilted his head from me again, ending our conversation completely. In her sleep, Adeline mumbled something along the lines of, “Mom…stop…don’t touch him…” I knew the fate of our parents still haunted her, but I didn’t know she dreamt about it. She hid it very well, which I was never good at doing. If something bothered me, I made it known. I was never able to decide if that was a good or bad trait.

Before I knew it, Daryl’s body had fallen limp as his eyes closed. I took my feet down from the dashboard and leaned over, peering at his face. I’d never seen him sleep before, so it felt as if I was watching some kind of rare animal at a zoo. His mouth hung open slightly, setting lose a calm snore that was much more tamed than Adeline’s. His eyelids fluttered and his fingers twitched with an unspoken dream. 

“Fine,” I mumbled, sitting back in my seat. “I’ll keep watch then.”

Hours passed by as I held my gun in my lap, listening to the rain. A couple times, I had to force myself to keep my eyes open from dozing off myself. My eyes felt as if I hadn’t slept in days when in reality, I’d only woken up about six hours ago. Yawns escaped my mouth more often than I would’ve liked and my eyelids drooped dangerously low. 

I decided to take a step outside and let the rain wake me up. I regretted it as soon as I did, though. Icy wind smacked against my face, causing a painful shiver throughout my body. I could understand if this was happening in winter, but in the spring, it shouldn’t have been so cold. But then again, the dead shouldn’t be up and walking around, but there they were, acting like they owned the whole damned world. 

The eerie stillness of the abandoned road instantly made me feel uncomfortable. I fondled the trigger of the gun as I glanced around. Twenty seconds. I would give myself twenty seconds of fresh air before returning to the safety of the car. 

For miles, it seemed that walkers avoided the area completely. I could hear their snarls and groans from somewhere faraway, but I remained calm. Even if they knew my location, I would have more than enough time to wake Daryl and Adeline up before they could reach us.

I didn’t even last the entire twenty seconds before the cold became too much for me to bear. I hurried back into the car, shutting the door as quietly as possible and locking it without hesitation. Curling my fingers to and from my palm, I glanced back at my still-sleeping sister. She had rolled onto her side, a trail of drool dripping onto the seat. Daryl remained asleep as well, but in a more graceful manner. 

Shifting my body from him, I brought my hands to each other, trying to hold body heat in my palms as best I could. Even the inside of the car was chilly now; my nose constantly felt as if it were running even though it wasn’t, so my sniffling became constant. 

I heard Daryl grunt as his eyes shot open. His body instantly became rigid as he sat straight, repositioning his crossbow in his hands. “What happened?” he demanded to know as if we’d just been attacked. 

“Nothing,” I answered, rubbing my hands together vigorously. “You fell asleep. Everything’s fine. The rain hasn’t let up yet, so we still can’t leave.”

He seemed to relax against the seat at my words, but eyed my hands carefully. “The hell did you do?” he asked. 

“I went outside. It’s freezing, so it sort of feels like my fingers are going to turn to ice.”

He held out his palm toward me. I stared at him in confusion until he motioned for me to place my hand in his. Once I did, he leaned toward me and brought my hand to his mouth, cupping his fingers around my skin and exhaling deeply onto my hand. I wanted to yank it from him and demand to know why he was acting so weird, but the warmth of his breath became the reason why I left my hand in place. 

“When I was little,” Daryl started, rubbing his palms roughly on both sides of my hand, “these asshole older kids pushed me into an icy river. I almost drowned, but Merle found me and pulled me out before anythin’ really bad happened to my body. My hands hurt the most and he did this until I felt like I could move them again.”

And so the cycle of breathing on my hands and rubbing them continued. I leaned my head against the seat behind me, watching Daryl as he switched between the two actions. My body felt heavy and slow. His image faded in and out. As I drifted off to sleep, I could’ve sworn I felt the soft press of his lips against my knuckles. 

But then again, I could’ve just been dreaming.


	20. Choices

When I finally did open my eyes, sunlight peered down through broken clouds. I felt groggy, sweaty, and absolutely disgusting as I lifted myself from the passenger seat of our now worthless car. Adeline and Daryl were still sitting in their seats, fully awake but carrying on a lingering, awkward silence. 

“What time is it?” I mumbled before covering a yawn with my fist.

“Don’t know,” Daryl answered, glancing up at the sky. “Probably ‘bout four or somethin’ like that. We need to go.”

I nodded in agreement as he popped the trunk. Gathering our findings, I noted my sister’s fuming glare she fixed on Daryl. She refused to speak a word, but I could tell by the way she slammed the trunk shut and stomped from us that something had happened while I was asleep – something not so pleasant. I decided against prying for the time being. That could wait until we were alone back at the prison. 

A cold chill remained in the air. As a shiver ran up my spine, I crossed my arms tightly over my chest, wishing I had brought a jacket. If those assholes back at the grocery store hadn’t ripped my shirt nearly in two, walking back to our so-called home wouldn’t be so horrible. 

“How much longer?” I asked as the sun threatened to settle over the faraway hills. The last thing we needed was to be caught out in the open during nighttime. 

“Another mile or so,” Daryl replied. “It’ll go by faster if you stop your bitchin’ though.”

“I’m not bitching,” I defended. “I’m just asking a question. God, what bit you on the ass? Both of you, actually.”

Adeline threw me a dangerous glower but still made no sound. Daryl, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and shook his head. “She ain’t gonna tell you, so I will. Adeline’s thinkin’ about runnin’ away to join the Governor,” he blurted. 

My mouth fell open as I turned to her, stopping dead in my tracks. “You are?” I inquired in disbelief. “How? Why? You saw what he did. He shot up the prison. He killed Oscar and Axel, for shit’s sake!” 

She glanced around nervously, her blonde hair bouncing back and forth. “Be quiet, Harper,” she hissed as she pulled her faces only inches from mine. I took a small step back. “I didn’t say I was going to for sure. Just think about it, though. Those people have it good. They have clothes, they have food, they have _water_. And what do we have? A shitty prison, a baby that we can barely find food for, and a courtyard surrounded by walkers. We’re going to die with these people. Do you not understand that?”

Her words upset and surprised me. “How can you say that?” I whispered, watching from the corner of my eye as Daryl ran a hand over his face and stepped away from us. “These people took us in. We would be dead without them and you just want to abandon them?”

Adeline threw up her hands with a sharp scoff. “Abandon them? You’re kidding, right? You’re acting like the entire building will fall apart if we leave. Besides,” she paused to throw Daryl a spiteful look, “I didn’t say I was dead-set on leaving. I know better than to tell this jackass anything ever again.”

She brushed past us, her shoulder intentionally colliding with Daryl’s. He gave me an annoyed stare before we followed after her.

o-o-o

As Adeline held the bottle of formula to Judith’s mouth as she bounced her around the common area, I watched her from the corner of my eye. At the table I sat at, Beth and Carl chatted happily about some movie I’d never heard of before. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that the two didn’t have a single worry in the world.

A smile spread across my sister’s face as she peered down lovingly at the infant. I couldn’t help but wonder just how genuine it was, though. For being a “baby that we can barely find food for,” the tiny girl seemed to be growing taller and chubbier every day. And the prison wasn’t shitty. It provided us with more shelter than we could’ve hoped for. The walkers outside, well, they were a different story.

It seemed as though Adeline expected everything to be like our old life and somewhere deep in her mind, she had convinced herself that Woodbury could offer that.

“Harper?” Beth addressed, snapping me from my nagging thoughts. I turned my gaze toward the two and lifted my brows.

“Huh?”

“Did you hear me?”

“No, sorry. I was…thinking about something else.” For all I knew, Daryl and I were the only two who were aware of what my sister could be doing. I didn’t want it to be known throughout the entire prison. If Rick found out…well, I didn’t even want to consider what would happen.

Beth gave a compassionate smile. “What did you think about it? The Catcher in the Rye, I mean.”

I searched desperately for an answer to her question. Sure, I knew that book existed, but did I ever read it? Definitely not. “Um, well,” I began, strumming my fingertips on the tabletop, “I thought it was good…you know, the way they caught the rye and made bread with it.”

The two broke out into a harmonious laugh, bringing Adeline’s attention toward us. She flashed me a curious glance before strolling into the cell block, humming to Judith along the way. I forced my own giggle when I realized they thought I was joking. Carl shook his head, a goofy grin playing on his lips, and stood from the table. 

“I’m going to go find my dad,” he informed us. Without so much as a goodbye, he set his hand on the pistol hooked on his hip and exited through the metal door. 

Beth’s laughter finally died down with an exasperated sigh. “You know,” she mumbled as she folded her arms on the table, “I’m glad you and Adeline decided to stick around. Judith really likes your sister, I can tell.”

I gave her a small, embarrassed nod. “Yeah, Adeline’s always been good with babies,” I explained. “I always thought she would open up her own daycare center, but uh, I guess not so much now.”

“Maybe when the world is okay again,” Beth replied. Her voice sounded tiny and distant, as if she was trying to convince herself instead of me that someday everything would go back to the way it was before. I couldn’t help but feel some kind of pity for her.

“Yeah,” I answered, my own voice nothing but a whisper. “Maybe.”

o-o-o

The prison seemed much livelier than the past few weeks. Maybe it was because our run was successful and gave Carol more items to cook with, or maybe it was because half of our group was drunk. Either way, I didn’t complain and I certainly didn’t dwell too much on it. I was just happy that for one night, things seemed okay.

“So there he was, right?” Merle slurred, his tin can of whiskey slushing around in his normal hand. “My little brother standin’ over some Mexican kid with a baseball bat in one hand and the damn tooth he knocked out in the other! Ya’ll shoulda seen his dumb, tooth-missin’ grin. And then…and then he starts cryin’ outta nowhere like someone stole his candy right outta his hand!” He burst out into a howl of a laugh. Carl, Beth, and Maggie joined in with his laughter. Even Daryl broke out in a small smirk. 

Without telling neither Adeline nor I, Daryl had snagged a bottle of the horrid smelling stuff during our run. When he pulled it from his backpack, he declared that the group should loosen up for just one night and proceeded to pour it into plastic cups and empty tin cans. Most everyone took it graciously, but Hershel, Beth, Carl, Michonne, Carol, and I shook our heads in rejection. I couldn’t bring myself to drink with everything that was on my mind. 

Glenn leaned over me to reach Maggie, who gave him a hazy stare. “Hey,” he mumbled as he pointed to her. “You’re so damn beautiful and I just…God, I love you so much.”

I shrunk away from them, pressing my back into the table, as they exchanged drunken sweet nothings. Trying my hardest not to listen in on them, I focused on Adeline. Though visibly drunk, she kept to herself near the entrance of the building. She sat on the concrete stairs, holding the plastic cup tightly between her legs. As she peered down into the liquid inside, I decided that I would give anything to be able to hear her thoughts. 

“Excuse me, you guys,” I piped up, pressing my hands between the lovers to make a path for myself. The second I was free from their painfully cute conversation, I felt as though I was able to breathe again. The group exchanged intoxicated stories of the world before while I found myself grabbing for my gun and heading outside into the brisk night air. 

If the walls of the prison hadn’t been so thick, the sound of their laughter would’ve echoed far off into the surrounding forest. Luckily, the walkers paid no attention to our little celebration. They continued to moan and stumble by, tripping over rocks and bumping into one another. I peered through the sights of my gun, watching them in amusement.

Guilt stung me when I realized that any one of them could very well be my mother or father or even my faithful butler. Even though I knew the three of them were definitely lying dead, part of me felt as though they were like these walkers: wandering around aimlessly for the rest of eternity. God, I missed them more than anything.

“The hell you doin’ out here?” Daryl demanded to know as he shut the door behind him. I blinked away tears I didn’t realize were forming before turning to face him.

“Just getting some fresh air,” I told him. “Everyone’s so drunk that I thought nobody would notice if I slipped out.”

Daryl leaned against the wall, fishing in his vest for his almost empty pack of cigarettes. He grumbled to himself as he pulled one out. “Damn, only two left.” Making it look like the easiest thing to do, he pulled a lighter from his pocket, put the cigarette to his lips, and inhaled smoke as he lit it. When he noticed me watching him, he held it out toward me.

“No way,” I said with a light chuckle. “We tried this, remember? It’s a little too hardcore for me.”

He shrugged and turned his attention to the walking dumb just outside the fence. “I believe in second chances,” he replied. “Everyone’s gonna screw up the first time.”

We stood in silence for nearly ten minutes; Daryl smoking his remaining cigarettes and me lost in my own thoughts. Naturally, my mind drifted toward Adeline and our previous argument. Then, Andrea popped into my mind, sending a bitter churching to my gut. I still couldn’t find it in myself to like her, but she had talked about Woodbury as if it were paradise.

Maybe it was. Maybe everything was great there. If Rick truly had our best interests in mind, wouldn’t he want us to feel safe and comfortable? When we broke into the town, before the raid started, the people there seemed sincerely happy and content. There were walls and armed guards to keep the walkers away. Compared to our broken and fragile fence, it seemed a thousand times better.

What was I thinking? There was no way I could leave the group. They saved my life on multiple occasions after all.

“You gonna leave too?” Daryl suddenly asked as if he was reading my mind the entire time. 

“What are you talking about?” 

He took one long, final drag of his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and crushing it underneath his shoe. “I ain’t stupid,” he answered, his eyes narrowing in my direction. “And I ain’t as drunk as my damn brother. You know when I left with him after ya’ll saved our asses back at Woodbury? I did it ‘cause he’s my brother. He was always there through everything when I was growin’ up. And you know why I came back?”

I shook my head slowly. “No, I don’t.”

“’Cause ya’ll my _family_ ,” he replied. I knew he was drunker than even he realized, so I just went along with his words without interrupting. “I fuckin’ hated these people before, ‘specially Rick for lockin’ Merle up on a damn roof. But they accepted me even after all the dumb shit I did and said. They’re good people. I know Adeline’s your sister, but this is your family.”

Daryl stopped for a moment, recognizing just how passionate he’d become in his own words. He turned from me and tossed the empty cigarette box in a random direction. As I listened to it bounce against the concrete a few times before sliding to a stop, I refused to take my eyes off him.

“Family first,” he mumbled, using my words exactly. “Always has been, always will be. Remember that when you choose.”


	21. Negotiations

“One of us should go with them,” Adeline insisted in a hushed whisper, her eyes glued on Rick and Daryl’s retreating bodies. They turned a sharp corner and disappeared down an alley between two grey bricked buildings. I agreed with her; this just seemed much too dangerous for the two of them, even if the Governor gave his word to be alone.

Hershel adjusted the gun in his lap from the front seat of the car. “I need both of you here,” he told us stubbornly. “Can’t do much for myself with just one leg.” My eyes glued on the stump he revealed as he pulled his pant leg up. A gun had been duct taped to his thigh. A small shudder ran through me when I thought about how much it would hurt if he had to rip it off. 

As I opened the door of the car and stepped out onto the moist ground, I lifted my gun upward, peering through the sights to see if there was anything in the distance. The surrounding forest seemed calm and still, but I knew better than to think that for a fact. 

The entire drive here, as I sat tight next to Adeline, my heart refused to return to its normal beat. Excitement and fear rushed over me. Since Andrea’s return with negotiations from the Governor to meet with Rick, I was restless and uneasy. My emotions tripled when Rick told me he wanted to bring myself and Adeline with him.

“Ain’t gonna do you much good to stay around here,” he had explained, pointing toward Carol’s garden and Maggie fending off walkers through the fence. “You and your sister are getting pretty decent with guns, so you’re coming with us.”

Ten minutes of excruciating silence passed, Adeline and I on both sides of the car to give warning if anything seemed out of the ordinary, before Hershel called us back in. As the doors closed, he started up the car and drove toward a different spot only a ways down the dirt road. He stopped just in time to approach Daryl, who came walking out from a rusted water tower, his stride relaxed and his crossbow gently tapping against his hip in rhythm of his steps. 

“He’s already in there,” Daryl informed Hershel, taking a quick peek in the window at Adeline and me. “He sat down with Rick.”

Hershel glanced around. “I don’t see any cars. The girls didn’t see anything either.”

“Yeah, well, it don’t feel right. Keep it runnin’.”

We were only granted a second of peace before the roar of another engine echoed. Daryl hurried to run to the other side of the car and raise his crossbow while Adeline and I stumbled out of the car, readying our own weapons. A rundown, beige Ford Excursion came from the nearby yard of broken farming tools and squealed to a stop in front of us. 

A Hispanic man, probably in his mid to late thirties, stepped out of the drivers’ side while another man exited from behind him. This man, tall and lanky with thick glasses that had obviously been broken many times, looked nervous and bored at the same time. Andrea hopped from the passengers’ side, giving us a steady glare as she approached us. 

“The hell?” Daryl growled. “Why’s your boy already in there?”

“He’s here?” Andrea asked in disbelief. Before waiting for an answer from anyone else, she huffed loudly, rolled her eyes, and started for the direction that Daryl had come from.

I scanned the two men for any weapons. Mr. Glasses seemed as harmless as a kitten while his teammate carried a small gun in his hand. Neither of them seemed threatened by us and when Daryl lowered his crossbow, Adeline and I followed suit. The waiting game became horribly boring; Mr. Glasses took out a pen and a notepad and began writing on the hood of the car, Daryl paced back and forth, Adeline hummed a song we hadn’t heard on the radio in a year or so, Hershel gave an occasional yawn, and Mr. Gun and I had a stare-down. His dark eyes bored into mine, but I didn’t feel as though I was in danger. 

“You going to stare at me all day or are you going to tell me your name?” I finally said, breaking the overwhelming silence. Daryl immediately stopped his pacing to watch us. 

“Ladies first,” the man responded, a sly smirk playing on his cracked lips.

“Harper. You?”

“They call me Martinez.”

Something about the man perked my interest much in a way that Daryl did when I first met him. It wasn’t that I was strangely attracted to him or that I knew he could kill me with the snap of the Governor’s fingers. It was that somewhere deep down, I could feel there was something more to him than just a pawn in this murderous game of chess. When he gave me a tiny nod of acknowledgement, I knew my idea of him was spot on.

“Maybe I should go in there,” Hershel suggested, obviously tired of waiting for the two men.

“The Governor thought it best if he and Rick spoke privately,” Mr. Glasses said, speaking up for the first time. 

“Who the hell are you?” Daryl asked. His tone sounded as if he really didn’t care what the man’s name was. 

Mr. Glasses glanced up from his notepad, looking over the rim of his specs. “Milton Mamet,” he responded before returning to his work. 

“Great,” Daryl mumbled, turning his back from the rest of us. “He brought his butler.”

Martinez chuckled deeply as Milton replied in annoyance, “I’m his advisor.”

“What kind of advice?”

“Planning. Biters. Uh, you know, I’m sorry but I don’t feel like I need to explain myself to the henchmen.”

Daryl took a few steps closer to the smaller man. “You better watch your mouth, sunshine,” he warned. 

I turned on my heel, putting myself between him and the men behind me. “Daryl, stop,” I hissed. “You’re the one who started it. You’re being an ass.”

His pulled his face only inches from mine, his eyes narrowed in a glare. “Shut it, Barbie,” he retorted. I gripped my gun tightly between us. “You wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me. So quiet your bitch ass down.”

Martinez spoke up as he pushed himself from the hood of their car. He words came out dangerously and smooth. “Look, buddy, if we’re going to be here all day pointing our guns at each other, do me a favor: either quit talking to the lady like that or shut your damn mouth.”

Daryl’s eyes unlocked from my figure as he walked around me, approaching Martinez. They stood so close to each other that if one of them leaned in, they’d kiss. As they glared each other up and down, Adeline and I raised our guns. I didn’t point to either of them, but I’m sure my sister rested her sights on Daryl. 

“You guys, stop,” I told them. “We don’t need this, okay?”

“Harper’s right,” Hershel chimed in. “If all goes south in there, we’ll be at each other’s throats soon enough.”

Martinez’s lips grew into a mocking smile as Daryl gave him one more glare before turning back to us. I let out a relieved sigh and lowered my gun, meeting the archer’s glower. Martinez, however, threw me an inconspicuous wink. 

Andrea came storming out from the edge of the building. Our attention turned toward her for answers, to know what happened, but she gave Milton a defeated and angry stare before walking from us. She sat on a nearby bench and buried her face in her hands. My heart plummeted. Did Rick and the Governor come to a solution? From her body language, my guess was a definite no. When Milton attempted to approach her, she only shook her head.

“There’s no reason not to use this time together to explore the issues ourselves,” he suggested, his shoulders rising and falling in a nonchalant shrug. 

Martinez cleared his throat and leaned against the hood of the car again. “Boss said to sit tight and shut up,” he reminded his partner. 

“Don’t you mean the Governor?” Daryl snapped. I shook my head, turning from them to roll my eyes. Usually, I would be flattered at how the two were acting. But in this case, we were putting our lives on the line, making their attitudes annoying and immature. 

“It’s a good thing they’re sitting down,” Milton said, “especially after what happened. They’re going to work it out. Nobody wants another battle.”

“You call that a battle?” Adeline demanded to know. “You came in and shot up our prison.”

“I would call it a battle, and I did. I recorded it.” Milton held up a folded, worn piece of paper. “Somebody’s got to keep a record of what we’ve gone through. It’ll be a part of our history.”

“Makes sense,” Hershel commented, although I didn’t agree with him. We didn’t even know if humanity would survive for another month. Why waste time recording the present when you could be fortifying your future?

The two men fell into their own conversation of walker intellect and health records. Somewhere far away, a snarl sounded, followed by the banging of metal. I glanced toward Adeline, who offered to stay with Hershel and Milton, before running toward the sound with Daryl and Martinez. Andrea finally opened herself up to the world and trotted close behind me. 

Between a mess of broken and empty water towers, we approached a small cluster of walkers. Daryl raised his crossbow and focused on one, but refused to shoot a bolt from it. I stopped running and watched him closely, feeling Martinez’s presence next to me. Daryl lowered his weapon and motioned for the other man. 

“After you,” he said with false courtesy. 

Martinez chuckled, raising a baseball bat that he had grabbed from his car on our way to the walkers. “No way,” he replied. “After you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Andrea and I snapped at the same time. She approached one of the walkers with a tiny pocket knife, delivering it right in between the eyes of a female. I yanked the bat from Martinez’s hand, pushing my gun over my back, and swung it at the head of a large, rotting man. His head slammed against the water tower, exploding in a small mess of decayed brains and mushy bone.

“Pussy,” Martinez hissed to Daryl from behind us. “Ain’t even gonna show off for your woman?”

“She ain’t my woman.”

“Good.”

Daryl’s words hit me hard. Sure, it wasn’t as if we were a couple, but I’m sure even he couldn’t deny that there was something between us. Maybe it was one-sided, though. Maybe I just had my hopes set too high. As I swung at another walker, I tried to shake his voice from my mind while the two engaged in some kind of “conquering dominance by killing more walkers than the other” game. 

Behind me, Andrea sighed exhaustedly and mouthed before walking back toward Adeline, “Men.”

Once all the walkers were cleared out, I handed the bat back to Martinez. “Sorry I just took it from you,” I muttered. The man didn’t seem angry. In fact, he smiled widely. 

“No worries,” he replied. “You handle it better than I do. Let me guess: child softball superstar?”

A soft chuckle vibrated my lips. “Sure, we can say that.”

Daryl let out a small grunt as he fished into the pockets of a walker that wore a construction worker’s uniform. He pulled out a half empty pack of cigarettes and hurried to slide one into his mouth and light it. Martinez’s smile faded slightly as he looked toward the smoke rising into the air. 

Noticing his longing stare, Daryl held out the pack to the Hispanic, who shook his head in disgust. “Nah,” he rejected. “I prefer Menthols.”

Stuffing the pack into his back pocket, Daryl mumbled, “Douchebag.”

“You ain’t even going to offer the lady a smoke?”

“Oh, no,” I started, holding my hands up. “I don’t—“

“She don’t smoke,” Daryl curtly finished for me. I threw him an irritated stare. 

“That’s all right,” Martinez defended, giving me a playful nudge. “I like girls who don’t smoke better anyway.”

I could feel heat rush to my face as I turned from Daryl. I knew this would end badly and I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I went along with it anyway. Daryl had been pissing me off the entire time we waited for Rick. He was being rude not only to me, but to Milton, who seemed as though he didn’t do anything wrong his entire life. Besides, having a man I was decently attracted to be nice to me for once was nice. Why not enjoy it while I could?

“I guess it’s a good thing I can’t stand even the smell of them then, huh?” I asked, returning his wink from earlier. Martinez’s brows raised in an intrigued way as his arm gently snaked around my shoulders. 

“You know,” he whispered, burying his face in my hair as he pressed his lips to my ear, “I’ve got a spare room back at Woodbury. You can have it if you want.”

Although he meant to say it as quietly as possible, Daryl still heard it. His piercing blue eyes turned to me, demanding to know my answer. I watched him as his body turned rigid, his crossbow trembling slightly in his hands. After what seemed like hours of standing in place, observing as Daryl fell apart from the inside, I finally shook my head.

“I’m sorry,” I told Martinez, “but my family is at that prison. I can’t leave – I won’t leave. Ever.”

o-o-o

“Can I ride with you?” I asked Daryl as he started up his motorcycle. I hadn’t ridden on the back of it since my first run with him. It seemed like that was years ago, when it reality it had only been about a month and a half.

“I guess,” he answered in a bored tone. 

I returned the wave Martinez threw at me as he drove from our group. In the rearview mirror, I could see the Governor’s eyes locked on Adeline as if she was some sort of rare animal that he’d never seen before. It made me horribly uncomfortable. 

As I secured myself behind Daryl, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, I let out a sigh of reprieve. Although Rick refused to talk about the conclusion until we reached the prison so everyone would know, I felt confident that he did the right thing. Hopefully now, we could rebuild our lives without constantly living in fear that the Governor would come back with a vengeance. 

I rested my cheek against Daryl’s back as we drove behind the car. The purr of the engine almost lulled me to sleep if the nagging thoughts that kept popping up in my mind weren’t so persistent. 

“Why didn’t you go with ‘im?” Daryl finally asked, turning his head slightly to address me. I glanced up at his face, eyeing a tiny cut just under his chin. 

“Because I didn’t want to.”

“Bullshit. What’s the real reason?”

I took a moment to collect my thoughts. At his current state of mind, I was sure that Daryl would snap at the first wrong thing he heard. “Because,” I replied, “the prison is my home. I want to help build it into something great. Because I love Judith and her little giggles. Because I like watching the dumb little games that Beth and Carl play with each other. And because…because I didn’t want to leave you.”

Against me, his body went stiff. Daryl didn’t say another word to me, but a few minutes after my confession, his left hand left the cold metal of the motorcycle and covered my hands. I separated my fingers, allowing his to fall in the spaces.


	22. Cracks In Concrete

Daryl’s hands, seemingly much stronger than I remember, lifted my shirt over my head. My eyes remained locked on his lips, puffy from the kisses I didn’t quite remember. I shivered at the feel of his fingertips running down my bare sides as his lips gently caressed the skin on my neck. A soft nibble, just enough to make me melt. His fingers trailed around my back as I pressed myself to him, unclasping my bra with ease. 

“You’re sure you want this?” he asked, his voice husky with tease. He was between my legs now, pressing himself against me. I could feel his erection through his worn jeans. 

Before I had a chance to tell him that yes, God, I wanted it more than anything, my eyelids fluttered open to my familiar cell. Realizing where I was, I closed my eyes tightly and tried to force myself back to sleep, hopefully to return to the same dream. It was no use. As hard as I tried to relive something that never even happened, it was impossible, although the odd tingling feeling between my legs told me otherwise. 

I sat up on my bed, rubbing my face vigorously with my palms. I’d never dreamt about Daryl before, especially not in a sexual way. My dreams usually consisted of running from my parents, screaming for them to stop trying to eat me. Or, that everything – the walkers, the prison, the group that found us – was nothing but a dream of its own and that I was still living my old life, driving a car I never made a single payment on to Starbucks every morning. 

“You good?” Adeline asked, hopping down from the top bunk. “You, uh, you’re pretty loud.”

My stomach felt as if it shriveled up inside me. “Excuse me?”

Giving a playful smile, she peeked out from our cell. When it was made clear that nobody else was around, she closed her eyes and mimicked me in a high pitched voice, “Oh, Daryl…Please, fuck me…Please, Daryl. I want you to fuck me. Oh, God, yes!”

“Oh my God,” I mumbled in embarrassment, wishing I could erase her memory. 

“Don’t worry,” she reassured as she lifted her dirty shirt over her head and tossed it to the side. She gave me a playful wink as she slipped on a new, cleaner one. “Everyone has sex dreams. Sometimes you can’t control who they’re about. This one time, I had a dream that I was doing that old man that works at that gas station we used to steal candy from.”

I found it in me to smile, but it quickly faded away when I thought back to the conclusion of the meeting between Rick and the Governor. “So,” I said desolately, “I guess we really are going to war with those people, huh?”

“Guess so. We should do everything we can today to get ready for it.”

Standing from the bed, I nodded in agreement.

o-o-o

“Come on! Come on!” Daryl yelled, holding out his hand toward me. I backed away from the approaching walker, making sure to avoid the barbed wire we put down on the path leading up to the prison.

I turned and sprinted full speed toward the truck as it slowly began to move. The second Daryl’s hand curled tightly around mine, he hoisted me into the bed of the truck. I hurried to reach behind me, sighing in relief when I found that my gun was still on my back. 

We had been laying traps for hours. My stomach grumbled with hunger and my back ached from bending over so often. Although the night was a few hours away, the air was still cold and bitter. My fingertips lit up in a dull pain.

“The hell’s wrong with you today?” he inquired low enough that Beth, Michonne, and Glenn couldn’t hear him from the inside of the vehicle. “You’re all spacey and you ain’t payin’ attention.”

I eyed him up and down, trying to catch my breath while holding on tight to the metal so I wouldn’t topple over backward. “Just…a weird dream,” I told him. It wasn’t exactly a lie. It was just missing every wonderful detail. “I keep thinking about it and it’s getting me all jumbled.”

“Dreams don’t mean shit,” he answered, watching as Rick pulled the gate open for us. “Just your brain playin’ a movie for you when you’re sleepin’.”

As much as I didn’t want to agree with him, I knew his words were true. “Yeah, I know,” I replied softly just before we came to a stop. We hopped from the bed of the truck and double-checked to make sure that the gate was securely locked. 

“If they try to drive up to the gate again,” Glenn said confidently, “maybe some blown tires will stop them.”

I followed closely behind Daryl as he approached Rick, who commented, “It’s a good plan.”

“It was Michonne’s,” the man in front of me informed him, as if it was a surprise that she had a working brain of her own. The two locked gazes and suddenly, I knew that there was something going on that was being kept from the rest of us. 

Michonne approached us. “We don’t have to win. We just have to make their getting at us more trouble than its worth.”

Rick gave a small nod before herding us inside.

o-o-o

I found Merle in the boiler room, searching frantically for something that probably didn’t exist anymore. I watched him for a few moments before opening my mouth. “What are you doing?” I demanded to know.

A jolt of surprise ran through his body before he whipped around to face me. “Aw, well if it ain’t my baby brother’s biggest fan. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” When I crossed my arms over my chest and refused to give into his taunts, he chuckled and shook his head. “Just lookin’ for anythin’ to give me a little buzz. Y’know, x or coke or anythin’ like that. You seem like the partyin’ type. Got anythin’ for me?”

I rolled my eyes at his behavior. “Sorry to disappoint,” I told him. “I wasn’t much for partying. Neither was Adeline, so don’t go and ask her.” Merle grunted softly in acknowledgement of my words before yanking open a drawer. “Merle, what the hell are you doing? We’re going to have a war on our hands and all you’re concerned with is your next fix?”

“You’re one to talk,” he retorted, standing straight to face me. “The way you look at my brother is sick. Do you even pay attention to yourself? All you give a shit about is lookin’ pretty in front of him. Goddamn. It’s like you’re some dumb, horny college bitch.”

“That’s not true,” I defended as I uncurled my arms. My hands balled into tight fists at my sides. “I’m trying to help build this place into somewhere where we can live. Daryl is the least of my concerns.” Of course it was a lie, but I wasn’t going to let Merle think he’d won our argument.

He shook his head in amusement. “Y’know, when I said ya’ll look at each other the same way, I was wonderin’ what kind of crazy shit that would put in your head. Don’t waste your time. If the girls back home didn’t suit his fancy, ain’t no way in hell you can. He don’t give two shits about you.”

“Merle!” a voice echoed from the top of the stairs. Merle raised a quick finger to his lips and squinted his eye in a cutesy wink. I glared daggers at him. “Merle!”

“Hey, little brother,” the revolting asshole responded when Daryl turned the corner. His eyes instantly focused on me before turning back to his brother. 

“What the hell?” he asked slowly. 

“We was just about to holler back at you, weren’t we, Harps?” Merle said, his voice laced with cyanide sweetness. I gave a tiny nod as I nibbled on the inside of my cheek. 

Daryl paced the room casually, glancing around to see if anything was out of place. Of course, it was. Before I found him, Merle had practically torn the room apart: boxes were thrown everywhere, papers lay scattered on the floor, and almost all of the drawers in all the desks had been ripped out. “What’re you two doin’ down here?”

His icy blue eyes met mine, demanding an answer. I kept my mouth shut, not wanting him to know anything about the conversation between Merle and I. So, the older man answered for me. “Just chit-chattin’ and lookin’ for some, you know, crystal meth.” When Daryl gave a disgusted scoff, Merle shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Shit’ll mess my life up just when everything’s goin’ so great, right?”

The two fell silent, but something told me not to leave the room just yet. Daryl’s eyes fell on me just before he let out a defeated sigh. “You talk to Rick yet?” he asked his brother.

“Yeah. Oh, yeah. I’m in. But, uh, he ain’t got the stomach for it. He’s gonna buckle. You know that, right?”

“Stomach for what?” I grilled. Merle’s mouth opened in a sinister laugh. 

“You mean to tell me you don’t know? Damn, who else is this group keepin’ secrets from? Go on, little brother, you tell her.”

Daryl slowly walked toward me, towering over me like some kind of playground bully. He didn’t intimidate me or scare me in the least bit, but my body took a step from him anyway. “What I’m gonna tell you…you need to keep your mouth shut, got it? The Governor wants Michonne in return for the safety of the prison. He’s gonna hand her over tomorrow by noon.”

My head buzzed with this information. How could Rick do something like that? Since Michonne’s arrival at the prison, she’d done nothing but good for us: helped keep the walkers away, cooked when Carol felt overwhelmed, and even tended to the garden that still showed no signs of sprouting anything. It just didn’t seem like something our leader would take part in. Sacrificing another human seemed below him, but then again, since Lori’s death, he had become a completely different person.

“But he isn’t going to, right?” I mumbled, my voice weak. 

“I don’t think so,” Daryl responded. 

“You want him to?” Merle questioned. 

The archer shook his head slightly, but exhaled heavily. “Whatever he says goes.”

“Are you kidding me?” I snapped, interrupting Merle’s scoff. “You can’t be serious, Daryl. He’s going to let the Governor kill Michonne and you’re just going to pretend that it’s okay because Rick says so?” I stammered for more words, but when he refused to meet my furious glare, I knew it wasn’t something he wanted to do. He knew it was wrong just as much as I did. 

“Do you even possess a pair of balls, little brother?” Merle insulted, giving his brother a scrutinizing look. “Are they even attached? I mean, if they are, do they belong to you? You used to call people like that sheep. What happened to you?”

Daryl returned his look. “What happened with you and Glenn,” he asked dangerously, “and Maggie?”

The words that came from Merle’s mouth next sent a terrible shiver up my spine. They told me that yes, I should be afraid of this man, even though he was Daryl’s brother. They were nothing alike. For some reason, that fact continued to slip my mind, but now it was carved in like cracks in concrete. 

“I’ve done worse. You need to grow up. Things are different now.”

My opinion of Merle grew darker. Just what had he done in his past? Did he drag Daryl along with him? If so, what kind of brother was he? Deep in my mind, I tried to picture Adeline and myself in their shoes, but all that came up with was the kind of static from an old television set. 

“Your people look at me like I’m some kind of devil; snatching up those lovebirds like that,” Merle continued. “Now ya’ll wanna do the same damn thing I did: snatch someone up and deliver ‘em to the Governor. Just like me. Well, people do what they gotta do or they die.”

Daryl shook his head as if his brother’s words meant absolutely nothing to him. Then, his eyes met mine once more as his lips formed, “Can’t do things without people anymore.”

The older man also turned his attention toward me. I felt tiny under their stares. “Maybe these people need somebody like me around, huh?” he suggested as if he was asking me. “Do their dirty work. The bad guy. Yeah, maybe that’s how it is now, hm? How’s that hit you, baby brother?”

I watched Daryl turn into a man I’d never seen before. Without Merle around, he was strong and confident in his own words. Now, it looked as though he were about to burst into tears at any moment. What had Merle done to him to make him crack like this? 

“I just want my brother back,” Daryl replied honestly. 

Merle faltered hard, his brother’s words taking him by surprise. “Get the hell out of here, man,” he ordered in a fragile voice. “Both of you. Get out.”

As if under some sort of spell, Daryl turned and began walking back the way he came. Over his shoulder, he called, “Harper, come on.” 

I followed him without question.

o-o-o

“Harper, Harper, wake up.” Daryl’s low hiss startled me awake. His lips moved right next to my ear.

“Wh-What’s going on? Are they attacking?”

“Merle and Michonne are gone. Let’s go.”

“Right.”


	23. Stay

As we trudged through the forest, I wrapped my arms around myself, trying anything I could to warm myself. Unfortunately, Daryl had decided to wake me up before the sun was even awake to take me on this chase for his brother and Michonne. Why he picked me, I’m sure I’ll never truly understand. Maybe it was because I was there when the two were arguing the night before, or maybe it was because he actually enjoyed my company? Probably the former. 

They had taken one of the cars. That much I knew. Where they went, however, was beyond me. Luckily, Daryl was a tracker and a damn good one at that. Just from the way the leaves laid on the road, he could tell that whoever was driving was trying to get away quickly and which direction they had gone toward. 

“Daryl, why don’t we wait until daytime?” I suggested, lifting my fingers to my mouth to blow hot air onto them. “They couldn’t have gotten far.”

Daryl shook his head, his casual stroll turning into a forceful powerwalk. “Nobody heard ‘em open the gates,” he pointed out. “Can’t tell how long they’ve been gone. You can go back if you want.”

“No, I’m already out here,” I replied, as if it was a bad thing. 

We continued in silence for hours. Eventually, the sun rose up from behind the mountains and I no longer felt as if my fingers were going to turn to ice. My stomach, though, grumbled with hunger. My mind began to wander back to the prison. Was Carol cooking breakfast already? Did anyone change Judith yet? Did they even notice we were gone?

“Michonne,” Daryl said under his breath as he lifted a finger to point to the woman just as she stuck her sword into the head of a walker. “Michonne!”

Michonne stood up straight, her dark eyes narrowing in a dangerous glower. I tightened my grip on my gun as anxiety swirled in my gut. She took a small step away from us, holding her own weapon between her and our advancing figures. She looked unharmed and okay. Well, as okay as someone could be in a world without running water.

“Where’s my brother?” Daryl demanded to know. “You kill ‘im?”

Michonne shook her head. “He let me go.”

“Don’t let anyone come after us,” he ordered. “Come on, Harper.”

My eyes met the woman’s as I passed her. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something about the way she watched me told me to be careful. I just wished I knew what that something was. 

Daryl took off in a sprint. I struggled to keep up with him as he headed down a cracked road; he was much faster than I and before I knew it, I was gasping for breath. “Wait,” I wheezed as I came to a stop. I doubled over and placed my hands on my knees. “Give me a minute.”

“We don’t got a minute!” he retorted. He started to say something else, but when he turned to face me, whatever he was going to say became lost. “All right. Just…hurry up. Merle could be in trouble.”

I watched him as he bit his lower lip and ran his hands through his hair. Although he wasn’t fatigued from running so much – which is crazy because of how much he smoked – his breathing was ragged. I could almost hear the internal screaming of worry echoing inside him. 

“Okay, I’m good,” I lied. “Let’s go.”

o-o-o

We found ourselves at a small gas station that had been completely overrun by walkers. As we approached them, Daryl shot off bolts into their heads while I rammed a rusty rebar pipe I’d found lying on the ground through them. Most of them seemed too distracted by a seemingly abandoned car.

“Merle!” Daryl hollered. The walkers turned, the sound of his voice catching their attention, and hobbled toward us. Within moments, the archer put them out of their misery.

I hurried to the car, holding my pipe tightly in my hands as I peered inside. There was no sign of Merle, but in the backseat, an infant walker shrieked and flailed wildly in its car-seat. My heart shattered at the sight. I pictured Judith in the baby’s position and tears instantly came to my eyes. The door to the car was unlocked, so I carefully opened it without making too much noise. 

“What’re you doin’?” Daryl mumbled as he looked around my figure at the baby. “Oh. Want me to do it?”

“No, I’ll do it.”

My hands trembling, I lifted the pipe and stared down it at the baby’s forehead. A small pink bow, dirty and ripped, hung from the mangy blonde hair that circled her rotted face. This could’ve been what Adeline looked like as a baby. 

I counted down from three in my head before shoving it through, silencing the poor thing. Hastily wiping my eyes, I turned around to find myself at Daryl’s chest. “Excuse me,” I mumbled as I made my way around him. When I felt his hand press against the small of my back as he closed the car door, I almost wanted to just have a moment to cry for the child. But Merle was out there somewhere and we had to find him. 

“You okay?” he asked as he walked behind me. I only nodded. 

“Let’s split up and search around here for a bit,” I suggested, pointing toward a metal barn across the street. “I’ll look around here and you go over there.”

“Got it.”

Once I was alone, I headed for the inside of the gas station. The smell of decaying bodies immediately filled my nose, giving my tears a good excuse to escape my eyes. With my sleeve, I covered the lower half of my face and continued on. There was nothing that could’ve been taken back to the prison; someone had already come through and raided the entire place. Behind the counter sat a grimy, bloody mattress, surrounded by empty cans of soup and whiskey bottles. Whoever had once lived here was either run out or killed. I didn’t want to stick around much longer to find out the reason. 

“Merle!” I called. “Are you here?” 

No answer. 

After searching the entire inside, I decided that staying any longer was a waste of my time. Hopefully, Daryl had found him by now and we could return to the prison just in time to catch the tail-end of breakfast. With an optimistic mindset, I set out toward the barn.

“Daryl?” I hissed as I lurked around another unfamiliar car. “Where are you?”

A frantic cry hit my ears like a car slamming into a deer. It felt as if a fire had started underneath my feet as I ran toward the sound of repeated yells and moans of walkers. When I finally did find the source, my breath caught in my chest. Daryl straddled a walker, delivering a knife into its head over and over again. 

“Daryl!” I shrieked, dashing to him. I wrapped my arms around his and yanked him back onto me. We tumbled onto the grass, but the man didn’t struggle against me. Instead, he remained on the ground, bowing his head in a fit of uncontrollable sobs. Tears dripped from his face.

My heartbeat sounded like drums in my ears as I sat up and craned my neck to look at the walker he had been attacking. The face was completely smashed in, but from the metal blade attached to the right hand, I knew exactly who it was: Merle. For a few moments, my body felt entirely frozen. Only when Daryl’s cries faded back into my ears was I able to snap myself back into the real world. 

“Oh my God, Daryl,” I whispered as I turned to face him. My mind was hazy and scattered. It was with Merle. I wondered exactly how he could’ve ended up like this. He wasn’t weak – I’d seen him fight plenty of times, even if it was just wrestling with Daryl like two kids hyped up on sugar. 

I didn’t think my actions through as my arms wrapped tightly around him, drawing him into me. Snaking my arms around his shoulders and his head, I expected him to lash out on me, pulling away in a fit of anger. Instead, he fell limp against me, his own arms circling my waist rigidly. His body trembled as if he’d just seen the most horrific thing his mind could ever muster up, which could have been the case. His tears and sweat dampened my shirt. 

“Daryl,” I whispered as I pressed my lips to his hair. “We have to get out of here.”

“N-No,” he answered, his voice weak and fragile. “I ca-can’t just leave ‘im.”

I couldn’t find it in myself to argue with him, so I just stayed there, letting him cry into me until the walkers came for Merle’s body.

o-o-o

“Can I talk to you?” Michonne asked in a hushed tone. I turned and glanced at my sister, who bounced Judith happily on her knee. Carol sat nearby, making silly faces at the infant. My mind pictured the walker baby girl I killed for only a moment before I pushed her from my mind.

“Yeah, sure.”

It was strange that Michonne, of all people, wanted to talk to me. It must’ve been about Merle. Since our return to the prison, he was the only thing on everyone’s mind. As the woman and I walked toward her cell, I could hear Daryl’s soft sniffles from his own corner of the cell block. When we came back, he instantly excluded himself from the group, saying he didn’t want to talk about anything at the moment. With respect, everyone left him alone. 

When we reached her cell, Michonne dug through the pockets in her pants. She handed me a folded piece of paper, decorated with printed flowers and clouds. It was a page from the diary that Beth kept underneath her pillow. “Merle gave this to me just before he let me go,” she explained. “He told me that if anything happened to him, that he wanted me to give this to you.”

Confusion struck me as I took the note. I unfolded it, squinting my eyes at the horrid handwriting. “Harps,” I mouthed silently as I read, “if you’re reading this, I’m probably dead or worse. Take care of my brother, will you? You’re the kind of girl I always wanted him to bring home. He’ll love you forever. Merle.”

I couldn’t help but let out a tearful chuckle. Even in death, he still worried about Daryl. His loyalty was something I learned to admire. 

“Thank you,” I told Michonne, wiping my eyes. “I appreciate this. I’m…I’m going to go check on Daryl.”

For the very first time since she stumbled onto our group, she cracked a compassionate smile. “If you need me to make a run, just let me know.” 

I returned her smile before heading toward the very corner of the cell block. When I arrived, I could faintly see Daryl’s figure curled up on the bottom bunk. As I opened the creaking barred door, I wished he had some sort of light. Instead, I nearly tripped over his crossbow. 

“You awake?” I whispered. 

“Hm.”

Eventually, I managed to find his bed and sit on the edge of it. Daryl shimmied closer toward the wall to give me more space. “Are you doing okay?” I asked. 

“Oh yeah,” he replied sarcastically. “My brother just died and shit, but I’m good. Thanks for askin’.”

As much as I wanted to be pissed off at his words, I couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” I muttered. “It was a stupid question, I know. I’m just worried about you.” Daryl didn’t respond to my comment, so I sat there in complete silence and dark for a good five minutes before letting out a sigh of defeat. “Okay, I’ll leave you be.”

I attempted to stand, but stopped as soon as Daryl turned and grabbed my wrist. “Don’t,” he croaked out. “Just…stay, all right?” His words caught me off guard, but I listened anyway. Instead of returning to sitting on the edge of his bed, I crawled in and turned to face him. I could feel his body heat radiating toward me, drawing me in closer. 

“Okay, I’ll stay.”


	24. Loyalties

The first thing I noticed when my eyes fluttered open was that my body ached tremendously. Sharing a twin-sized bed with someone the entire night was a difficult task. Besides, I wasn’t entirely used to sleeping next to someone, so falling asleep and staying asleep was hard as well. The second thing I noticed was Daryl, who remained unconscious to my left. During the night, I learned that he was a sleep-talker. His brother’s face must’ve filled his dreams because his trembling lips mumbled over and over again, “Merle…stop…please…Merle, it’s me…It’s your little brother.” He twitched in his sleep and often rolled from facing me to facing the wall. Even though I was exhausted from lack of sleep, I knew that once woke up, he would feel even worse. 

As the sun started to shine into the prison, Daryl stirred once more before finally opening his eyes. At first, he remained silent, staring at the back of the top mattress above us. Then, so quietly that I almost didn’t hear him, he mumbled, “It wasn’t a dream. Merle’s gone.”

I couldn’t think of anything reassuring or helpful to say, so I only nodded and glanced sideways at his sullen face. “Yeah.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Daryl sat up and crawled over me. Once his feet reached the floor, he stretched his arms high over his head and yawned softly. “Well, ain’t nothin’ left to do but to kill this motherfucker.” 

“That’s it?” I questioned, swinging my legs around to sit on the edge of the bed. “You think killing the Governor is going to help you feel better about Merle?”

“No, I know it won’t. But,” he paused for a short moment, as if contemplating his next words, “when my ma died, I didn’t have time to be sad. My pa sure as hell didn’t take care of me and Merle, so when she was gone, it was just us. I had to take care of ‘im and he had to take care of me. So, I ain’t got time to be sad ‘bout ‘im. There’s shit I got to do to keep this prison safe.”

Without another word, Daryl turned his back to me, grabbed his crossbow, and left me alone in his cell. Part of me wished he would’ve brought up the fact that we slept side-by-side the entire night, but then again, why would he? There wasn’t anything special about it. Come to think of it, even in his sleep, he distanced himself from me. The only time we touched was when he rolled over once and his hand brushed my arm. 

Daryl certainly was a mystery that completely changed every single time I thought I had him figured out. 

“Hey,” Adeline greeted me as she peeked around the corner. “Ready to get this show on the road?” 

I forced a pitiful smile and nodded, following her into our own cell. As we packed everything we owned into our small backpacks, I couldn’t help but feel incredibly uneasy. “I don’t know about this,” I admitted. “I mean, I get that we should defend the prison when the Governor attacks today – if he attacks – but maybe running wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”

Adeline grunted as she pushed a pair of ripped jeans into her backpack. “No way,” she retorted sharply. “Running is a cowardly thing to do. You think he won’t just hunt us down if we do? Besides—” She turned toward me, leaning in and lowering her voice to a harsh whisper. “—it isn’t too late to leave. We could sneak out right now and not have to deal with any of this.”

I stared at her, waiting for her to say she was joking. Her eyes, though, penetrated me, filling me with a horrid feeling of dread. It was as if she didn’t recognize me, but at the same time, knew every single detail about my entire life. Neither of those were true, but just by looking at me, she had convinced me otherwise. 

“Stop it, Adeline,” I ordered as I tore my gaze away. “We’re not leaving them. This is our family now, and I’m going to whatever I can to keep everyone safe.”

“You mean to keep _Daryl_ safe.”

My hands froze in the middle of folding a shirt. “Excuse me?” I asked through gritted teeth. “What does Daryl have to do with—“

“Oh, come on, Harper,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “He’s the only reason why you’ve stuck around so long. You think you love him, don’t you? It’s the same situation as that kid that lived down the street from us. What was his name? That’s right. Jason, wasn’t it? You were so ‘in love’ with him and when he got a girlfriend, you cried about it for a few days then got over it. It’ll be the same thing if we leave. You’ll be sad about Daryl for a few days, and then you’ll be fine.”

At that moment, I finally realized that my sister was a completely different person. She was no longer the Adeline I grew up with, who listened to outdated music and cried at the end of the Harry Potter movies. This woman watching me like some sort of terminal patient was not my sister. She was someone entirely new: dangerous and unstable, willing to kill and abandon at the slightest sign of a threat. 

Hurt and disappointed, I shook my head and jumped to my feet. “Make whatever excuse you want for me,” I told her, “but I’m not leaving these people.” Before she had the chance to argue with me, I hoisted my backpack strap over my shoulder and retreated the rest of the group outside.

o-o-o

“Is that everything?” Beth questioned me, eyeing my tiny backpack as I approached her. She stood at the back of a loaded car, packed with supplies and extra clothing just in case we needed to make a quick getaway.

I gave her a small nod. “Everything that I would need. Oh, and I couldn’t stuff any make-up in there,” I told her, feigning a tone of sadness. “Sorry.”

“Dang,” she mumbled as she grabbed my backpack and threw it in with the rest of the loaded junk. “Guess I’ll have to wait even longer now. You okay? You look a little off today.”

I was hoping that I didn’t look the way I felt. My eyes seemed heavier than usual and my body felt as if it weighed two hundred pounds more. I’d even gone the extra mile to brush my hair so I would look decent enough for people not to ask questions. As I glanced toward Daryl’s motorcycle about twenty feet away from where we stood, my eyes lingered on Carol’s hand as she pulled him from his crouching position to his feet. Their hands remained locked for a moment before dropping. A small twinge of pain struck my heart.

“I just didn’t sleep very well,” I told her truthfully. “Just nervous about today, I guess.”

Beth gave me an optimistic grin. “We all are, but we’ll be okay.”

Before I had a chance to respond to her, Rick placed a hand on my shoulder from behind, startling me. I whipped my body around to face him and studied his grave expression. “You remember what you’re supposed to do, right?” he asked. 

“Yeah, of course,” I answered meekly. Since he announced the plan the night before, my position stuck in my mind like glue. “Stay down and out of sight. Shoot only when I’m sure. Don’t kill, just scare.” 

Rick nodded and leaned uncomfortably close to my face. Beth, knowing not to eavesdrop, closed the trunk, hurried to the front seat, and drove the car to the spot we’d decided to hide them: about half a mile south of the prison. “I’m glad you decided to stick with us,” he told me in a hushed tone. “Both you and Adeline. You’ve done us a great help.”

The second my sister’s name popped out of his mouth, my palms became sweaty. “It means a lot,” I murmured, feeling my lips quiver as I forced them into a smile. “Thanks for keeping us.”

“Where is she anyw—“

His words were cut short by the loud rumble of engines, a deafening explosion, and constant gunfire. Our attention immediately focused on the tower on the outermost gate. Smoke bellowed from it as flames escaped through the shattered windows. Below, heavily armored jeeps rolled in through the smashed fence. The people of Woodbury poked out from the intimidating vehicles, guns a-blazing. 

Our prison flew into a frenzy of adrenaline. My body reacted before my mind could comprehend what was going on. Within only a few seconds, my gun was in my hands and I was sprinting toward the cell block entrance, heading for the roof. I’d only been up there twice before and the direction was fuzzy in my memory, but for some reason, I felt as if I could make the trip blindfolded. 

Before I was able to enter the building, a strong force brought me to a halt. Daryl had intersected my path, gripping my arm tightly. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ die,” he growled, his face only an inch from mine. “I ain’t gonna lose you, too.”

Through my racing heartbeat and heavy pulse, I managed to form a grin. “Same goes for you,” I told him. Then, a thought struck me: today could very well be my last day on this earth. Without thinking or any hesitation, I lifted myself to my toes, crushing my lips onto his before tearing myself away and bolting into the cell block.


	25. Murderer

My lungs ached with lack of air as I crouched low on the rooftop. Peering through the sights of my gun, I watched as Adeline narrowly snuck out of sight and hid behind the planter as a group of three armed men strolled by. Our invaders consisted of every different type of people: different races, different genders, even young teenage kids hollered fiercely in the midst of them all. As they clamored into our territory, I focused on the man who stood in the middle of it. He held himself confidently like he was sure they would be able to take over the prison. 

“Good luck with that,” I whispered to myself, my lips still tingling with the excitement of Daryl’s mouth against mine. Even though it had only been for half a second, my heart stilled raced when I thought back to it. Then again, that could’ve been the fear that was surging through my body, which trembled at every single sound of gunfire. 

I put my gun in my lap as I turned and leaned against the brick wall. Although I was high above everyone else, I felt like I was the most vulnerable. How did we know that they didn’t have a helicopter that could land on me and squish me? It seemed like such a silly thing to worry about, especially when everyone else could’ve been in trouble below me, but it was still difficult to cast from my mind. 

The gunfire eventually came to a quiet as they began to realize that we were nowhere to be seen. I almost wanted to laugh to myself, but it would surely give away my spot. Rick had ordered me to stay in my location until the signal, but when was that going to happen? Time felt as if it was slinking by as slow as it possibly could. Any second now, Adeline would pull the alarm and we would be allowed to push these people away from us with the help of the walkers that we had lured and trapped in the lower parts of the prison.

Suddenly, as if some unknown force was granting my wishes, the blaring convict escape alarm sounded, causing a jolt of surprise to flash through me. I yelped and rolled onto my stomach, aiming downward at the scattering people. Gunfire rained down on them, just barely missing their feet and arms. Harder said than done, though, I realized as my own bullets flew from my gun. I found myself wanting to lift my sights to their heads when I thought back to Maggie and Glenn. Then, I pictured Daryl and Merle being forced to fight each other back in Woodbury, surrounded by a circle of walkers.

A man dropped to the concrete, his head nothing but a mess of scattered brain tissue and what was left of his skull. My fingers immediately went numb as I lowered my gun, watching in absolute horror as another woman shrieked in despair and fell to her knees next to him. She curled over his battered body, refusing to let go of his clothing when others tried to pry her away to escape. 

“Oh, fuck,” I whispered, scooting far away from my gun. I had killed him. I killed that man. I wasn’t supposed to. Don’t kill, just scare. Those were my orders, and I killed him. 

When the roar of the engines faded away, I couldn’t bring myself to move. I felt so sick to my stomach that I thought I would puke at any moment. For all I knew, that man could’ve been innocent – never murdered anyone his entire life. That word forced stomach bile into my mouth and onto the rooftop. 

Murder. That’s what I had done. I murdered someone. A father, a husband, a brother, a son, who knows? He was obviously important to someone, and I had taken him away from what someone forever. I was a murderer. 

“Harper!” Maggie’s excited voice hollered. “Come down! We did it!”

She snapped me back to reality and before they had the chance to wonder if I was alive or not, I gave a weak wave over the side of the roof, grabbed my gun, and headed toward the courtyard. A distant ringing pierced my head as I jogged down the rusty flights of stairs and made my way through the empty cell block. 

Our group joined each other in a mess of smiles and high fives, but as I passed the man I had gunned down, I froze in place. Carol noticed me before anyone else and didn’t hesitate to hurry to my side. She linked an arm around mine and whispered quickly, “It was you, wasn’t it?” When I nodded, she pursed her lips together. “Don’t think about it now; we have bigger things to worry about.”

“What?” I breathed, wondering what could’ve possibly gone wrong. Then, it hit me: Adeline was missing. “Where’s my sister?” I demanded to know as we approached the muttering group. I could feel Daryl’s eyes lock on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

“We were just discussing that,” Rick replied as Michonne handed him a piece of blue cloth. He held it toward me and as I took it in my hand, he asked if it was Adeline’s. It was hard to tell; blood splattered what looked like a part of a shirt, but when I lifted it to my nose and took in a hint of vanilla, I knew it was hers. Even without showering for months, she was still somehow able to smell like her favorite lotion.

“Is she dead?” Maggie asked gently, trying not to hurt my feelings. I couldn’t tear my gaze from the shirt long enough to give her an answer.

“We need to go after them,” Michonne suggested, fury still burning bright in her eyes. “They could’ve taken her.”

“We would’ve seen it,” Glenn said, pointing back to where he and Maggie had been stationed. “She would’ve put up a fight, don’t you think? We would’ve noticed a struggle.”

The urge to puke again was slowly rising. Part of me knew for a fact that she wasn’t dead, or maybe I just didn’t want to accept that. I wanted to believe that she had been taken by the Governor before she was torn apart by walkers. My head swirled with so much fear and worry that I forced my eyes closed, feeling like I was drunk and the world was spinning around me.

“I agree with Michonne,” Carol mumbled. “We need to go after them. If they did take Adeline, we can get her out of there before anything happens.”

“Harper,” Rick said, all eyes falling on me, “she’s your sister. What do you want to do?”

My mouth opened before I could figure out what exactly we should do. “I…” Words completely escaped me. Slowly, I met each of their pressuring stares. “I don’t…Can we go inside for a moment? I need to sit down.”

Rick inhaled to argue, but Carol took my hand with one arm and relieved me of my gun with the other. “Of course, sweetie,” she cooed. “We don’t have to make a choice now.”

o-o-o

I sat at one of the tables, my face buried in my hands. For some reason, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t cry. It was as if my body was empty and I had forgotten how to react to anything. Even when the group rejoined in the common area and began to talk about our next course of action, I couldn’t bring myself to contribute.

“We were able to drive away the people of Woodbury,” Rick informed Beth, Hershel, and Carl, who had taken shelter with the vehicles, “but we aren’t sure if we’ve suffered any losses. Adeline is missing and we were only able to find her shirt.”

A hand was placed on my back and when I lifted my head to see who it was, Beth gave me a sympathetic look. “We’ll find her,” she whispered. “I know she isn’t dead.”

Beth had an effect on people that, deep down, they believed whatever she said. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe it was the innocent gleam in her eyes or maybe it was that fact that she really did believe herself. Whatever it was, just her saying those eight words brought a sense of relief. 

“So,” Daryl said as he turned from Rick to face me, “what are we doing, Harper?”

I ran my hands over my face once more, pushing my hair back with my fingers. It felt disgustingly grimy. “I want to make sure my sister isn’t dead, so we need to go back to Woodbury.”


	26. You Were Loved

If I hadn’t been so anxious and boiling with rage, the sound and vibration of Daryl’s motorcycle underneath me would have lulled me to sleep. As we drove toward Woodbury, my body felt heavy with exhaustion, but my mind was too busy imagining the horrible things the Governor could be doing to Adeline. Every time I thought about it, the hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood straight. I’m sure Daryl noticed my sickening thoughts too because my grasp would tighten around his waist, making him shift uncomfortably and make some snide comment like, “Damn, girl, you tryin’ to break me in half?”

The drive, it seemed, lasted years. The trees we passed began to look like clones of one another. Every so often, I would take a moment to glance over my shoulder and try to read the expression on the members of our group in the truck behind us. Rick’s face remained stoic and hard. Michonne mimicked his look, lost in her own world, I’m sure. Although there was more than enough room for me in their vehicle, when we decided who was going to head out to save my sister, Daryl had promptly turned to me from his motorcycle and said, “Well, whatdya waitin’ for? Get on.” As much as I wanted to think it was gesture of something more than it probably was, the only thing I could focus on was making sure Adeline was safe. 

“What the fuck?” Daryl murmured mostly to himself as the bike slowed to a halt. Snapping me from my daze, I peeked over his shoulder. A large army truck had seemingly been overrun with walkers. The second I laid my eyes on it, I realized that it was one of the trucks that invaded our prison, full of soldiers from Woodbury. Now, it looked as if it hadn’t been touched in years. 

A female sat crouched near half a dead body, greedily munching away on whatever was left. The more I glanced around, the more walkers I saw. My heart dropped when I recognized one of them: the woman who fell to her knees in a sobbing mess over the man I killed. I swung my leg over the side of the motorcycle, lifted my gun, and aimed my sights at the dead. Before I could shoot, though, Daryl lifted his hand to tell me to stop. 

I wanted to argue, but when he sent a bolt straight through her head, I took a step back. My mind was clouded with anger. If everything had been okay, I would’ve known that my bullets would only attract more. As I watched Michonne approach another walker and slice his head into two with ease, I found myself wishing that I would’ve grabbed Adeline’s dagger from our cell before we left, if it was still even there. 

Walking around the giant truck, confusion hit us when we saw another car and a jeep sitting idle. Something had happened to these people and whatever it was, it took them out in a mass, like an atomic detonation. Assuring that all the walkers were put down, we silently stood around, looking to each other for answers. 

Behind Daryl, someone trapped in the army truck slammed against the window. I yelped in surprise and immediately lifted my gun as he stumbled away. It was a woman with long brown hair and frantic eyes. We watched her for a moment as she looked to us in a pleading way. As Daryl opened the door and demanded her to come out, the rest of us kept our aim at her head. 

“Please, don’t shoot,” she whispered breathlessly as she tumbled from the truck. 

“Then you’re going to answer our questions,” I growled as I placed the barrel of my gun on her forehead, “or I’ll put a bullet right between your fucking eyes.” The tone of my voice took me by surprise. It felt as if someone was speaking for me, but finding Adeline was the only thing driving me at this point. I didn’t want to admit it, but if killing this woman would save my sister, I’d shoot her in a heartbeat. 

“Okay, okay,” the woman said, tears filling her dark eyes. “Wh-What do you want to know?”

Rick’s hand on my shoulder caused me to jerk away from the woman. His eyes narrowed at me as he murmured, “Harper, put your gun down. You kill her and she won’t be able to tell us anything.” I stared him down before finally lowering my weapon from her face. Then, he turned toward the woman. “What happened here?”

As she explained everything that happened after they retreated from the prison, I paced back and forth, running my hands through my hair. We were wasting so much time. Adeline could’ve been dead or raped or worse. Dwelling on it made my stomach twist painfully, so I forced myself to think of other things: the chocolate ice-cream on her tiny face, the way she cried when she realized she didn’t fit into her size five shoes anymore, the passion in her voice when she tried to talk me into leaving the prison with her to go to Woodbury. 

I froze in place, my heartbeat pounding loudly in every part of me. Why hadn’t I realized it sooner? If Adeline was in Woodbury, it wasn’t because she was kidnapped and forced to go there of her own free will. It was because the attack on the prison was the perfect opportunity to sneak away with them. She had been planning it all along.

“Get in the truck,” Rick ordered the woman. “You’re coming with us.”

Daryl started his motorcycle again and looked toward me. “You comin’?” he asked. Trying to fend off the gnawing feeling of dread in my stomach, I nodded and slipped on the bike behind him. Once my arms were wrapped around his waist, he turned his head to glance back at me. “Don’t worry. We’ll get her back.”

o-o-o

As we approached the quiet town of Woodbury, the horrible feeling inside me only doubled. The last time we were here to save Glenn and Maggie, we barely got out alive, but looking toward the guarded streets, I could tell that the dangers from before were no longer there. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

Gunfire immediately fell over us as we approached a rundown car for cover. I couldn’t find it in myself to lift my weapon. Knowing that Adeline could be in there, willingly or not, struck up a new fear greater than her being captured. If I shot her the way I did that man back at the prison, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. So instead of contributing, I kneeled down against the cold metal and forced my eyes shut.

“Give me your gun,” Daryl hissed in my ear as he crouched next to me.

“What?” 

“I said, give me the damn gun if you ain’t gonna shoot.”

My hands trembling, I shifted the strap around my head and handed the weapon to him. He wasted no time standing straight and shooting over the car. Finally, the gunshots died down and the woman we dragged along with us peeked out from the side of the damaged metal.

“Tyreese!” she called. She stood and lifted her hands where he could see them. “It’s me! Don—“

“Get down!” I hollered at her as I took hold of her arm. It didn’t take much force to drag her down to my level; she wasn’t a very large woman.

For a moment, everything was silent. Then, Tyreese’s voice echoed back, “Karen! Karen, are you okay?!”

Karen yanked herself from my grasp and stood up again. “I’m fine!”

“Where’s the Governor?!”

“He fired on everyone!” she explained, glancing around nervously. “He killed them all.”

“Then why are you with them?!”

“They saved me!”

I heard Rick count down from three under his breath before announcing to Tyreese, “We’re coming out!” 

I inched around the car as I stood to my feet. Through a crack between two pillars of tires, I could see the shadow of two heads and a gun ready to fire at the drop of a hat. I glanced toward Daryl, who still held a tight grip on my own gun. When he released it to show Tyreese that we meant no harm (for the most part), I copied his movements and raised my own hands into the air. The giant wooden doors to Woodbury swung open, revealing Tyreese and Sasha, both looking terrified. 

“What are you doing here?” Tyreese demanded to know as we approached them. 

“We think the Governor might’ve kidnapped my sister,” I answered, only part of me believing that. I didn’t want to think that Adeline came here on her own, but it was possible.   
Tyreese and Sasha exchanged a confused look. “We haven’t seen her,” Sasha replied. “And the Governor hasn’t come back yet. He…He really killed everyone?”

Beside me, Karen nodded, a small sniffle sounding from her nose. “He did. I hid away in one of the trucks so he wouldn’t find me.”

“Karen told us Andrea hopped the wall going for the prison,” Rick added. “She never made it. She might be here.”

“My sister might be with her, too,” I commented. “We need to get in here and find them.”

As the two nodded in agreement, Daryl handed me back my gun. His hand lingered on the metal for only a moment, his eyes locked on mine. Then, without a word, we rushed into the abandoned streets of Woodbury.

o-o-o

The second we entered the damp hallway, I wanted to turn tail and book it. Glenn and Maggie had been held here, tortured and ridiculed. Blood stained the walls and the concrete floor, making it obvious where people had been dragged and paused to be beaten. If it hadn’t been for Daryl’s presence directly behind me, making sure nothing ambushed us from the back, I’m not sure if I would’ve stayed course and kept going.

“This is where they had Glenn and Maggie,” Rick pointed out, turning toward Tyreese and Sasha. Both of them looked shocked beyond words. 

“The Governor held people here?” Tyreese asked in disbelief. 

“Did more than hold ‘em,” Daryl replied. He was so close to me that I swore I could feel his words on the back of my neck. 

Somewhere further in the hallway, a dull thumping sounded over and over again. We stopped for a short moment, straining to hear over our harsh breathing before continuing. The longer we walked, the more the smell of rotting flesh entered our noses. At one point, I covered my mouth and nose with my palm, taking in the scent of dirty metal. I preferred that over smelling the dead any day.

“Its blood,” Sasha whispered as we approached a makeshift door. She pointed toward the corner of it. A dark pool of blood seeped through the bottom, but it looked closer to black than the dull crimson color of normal human blood. 

We hesitated. I looked toward Michonne, Daryl, and Rick in curiosity. Who was going to be the sad soul who forced the door open? When Rick’s eyes met mine, I knew the answer. I was the one who needed answers, so it had to be me. Exhaling sharply, I shimmied toward the door, my gun moving in rhythm with my ragging breathing. 

“One…two…three!”

I kicked the door open, raising my gun at the same time. On the ground before me sprawled out a dead man. As we hurried into the room, I recognized him as the man Daryl had called the Governor’s butler: Milton. A shiver of fear ran up my spine as I turned to see who was lying against the wall. Michonne let out a weak yelp and kneeled next to the blonde. 

Andrea gave her a pitiful smile, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. “I tried to stop them,” she slurred as her eyes focused on a thousand different things at once. It was almost as if she was watching ghosts behind us. 

“You’re burning up,” Michonne commented, her hand on Andrea’s forehead. Slowly, the blonde peeled away the vest she wore, exposing a giant gash near her shoulder. I looked toward Milton, eyeing the blood crusted around his mouth. He must’ve turned and bit her…

“Judith, Carl, the rest of them,” Andrea started, turning to Rick. She meant to say more, but it obviously became a struggle for her.

“Us,” Rick replied. “The rest of _us._ ”

The look of appreciation that she gave him nearly broke my heart. I wasn’t sure of her past with the group, but something about the way her eyes lit up, even though she was so close to death, told me that she loved every single one of them so much. I tried to picture myself in her shoes, being separated by the only people I had left and then only being reunited just before I turned into a walker. I wanted to cry for her. I wanted to just fall to my knees beside her and tell her that I was sorry for how I treated her before and that we could find someone to fix her, but something held me back. 

“Are they alive?” Andrea croaked out.

“Yeah, they’re alive,” Rick answered, his own voice cracking. 

Through her pain, she was able to let out a grateful chuckle. Her eyes lifted toward Michonne, who looked as if she was trying her hardest not to cry. “I’m so happy you found them,” she told her. Michonne could only nod.

Then, her eyes met mine as I felt as if I was being turned to stone. “Harper, your sister…” she started, making my heart race at a million miles an hour. “You’ve got to find her. He talked about her. He was going to capture her. Just…find her…Even if he didn’t find her, she’s still in trouble. No one can make it alone now.”

Although I knew Andrea didn’t know anything else about where my sister could be, I still wanted to ask her so many questions. Before I had the chance to, Daryl’s voice mumbled from my side, “I never could.” When I turned to look at him, I met his gaze. 

“I can do it myself,” Andrea remarked, searching slowly for her gun. I tore my stare from Daryl’s piercing eyes and watched as Michonne shook her head.

“No,” she mumbled, her voice full of tears. 

“I…I have to while I still can. Please?”

As Rick placed his small hand gun into her palm, a wave of mixed emotions flooded through me. I wanted to feel sad, but I was too worried for Adeline. At the same time, I felt too guilty for how I acted toward Andrea when I first met her. She had a past with the group that I could never understand or replace. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Michonne reassured her. Andrea nodded, giving each of us one final glance of acknowledgement. I felt Daryl’s hand on my back, gently pushing me toward the door. My eyes locked with the dying blonde’s as we left them alone to say their goodbyes. 

We waited outside the door for what felt like hours. Tyreese and Sasha seemed to know better than to ask what happened. My chest was painfully tight and no matter how much I paced back and forth or tried to stay in one spot so the feeling would go away, it remained persistent. Daryl leaned against the wall, his eyes downcast. Rick refused to look at either of us and when the gunshot sent a ringing in my ears, I closed my eyes tightly. 

Michonne emerged from the doorway, tears streaming down her face. “Let’s go,” she whispered. Silently, we followed right on her heels.


	27. Stranded

“Adeline!” I shouted, cupping my hands over my mouth. “Adeline, it’s me! It’s Harper!” It was difficult to tell apart the buzz of chatter from outside the building from my sister’s, so I strained to hear any kind of answer from her. I had spent an hour searching the buildings for her while Rick rounded up the remaining residents of Woodbury. After Karen had explained what the Governor did, they were more than willing to pile into an old school bus and relocate to the prison. 

“If we have any hopes of the prison thriving,” Michonne had explained before we decided on taking everyone with us, “we need people. We can’t do it on our own.”

So, while the rest of our group herded every person we saw into the large bus, Daryl and I broke off to hopefully find my sister. Unfortunately, the town was much bigger than I originally thought. By the time everyone had gathered their things and began to pile into the bus, we had only searched two houses. We used this time, though, to stuff as many things as we could into my backpack that seemed useful.

“She ain’t here,” Daryl pointed out, peeking through the blinds of a window to see the progress of the bus. 

I chose to ignore him as I opened up the bedroom door to what looked like a study. “Adeline!” I called out, flicking my handheld flashlight on. I surveyed the room, grabbing a pair of AA batteries and a few water damaged books. “Adeline!”

“They’re ready,” the archer informed me as he opened the front door. “Let’s go.”

“I can’t leave without my sister,” I objected as I zipped up my backpack and fastened the straps on my shoulders. “She wouldn’t leave if I was the one missing.” 

Daryl let out an annoyed sigh. “How the hell are you gonna get back to the prison?” he inquired, folding his arms over his chest. “Take you a day on foot and that’s if the walkers don’t kill you first. Without guards, this place’ll be overrun in two hours tops.”

“I can shoot,” I answered stubbornly. Kicking a pillow over, I grimaced at a pile of rat feces piled up on the floor. “Besides, I’m sure there are a thousand things in this town we can use back at the prison.”

I turned from Daryl, so when he leaned out the front door and waved a hand toward Rick, I didn’t notice. “Yo, Rick!” he hollered, causing me to jolt in surprise and drop the cracked light bulb I had picked up. “Go on ahead! We’ll meet you back at the prison in a couple hours!”

“What are you doing?” I asked him, placing my hands on my hips. “I can make it back on my own just fine. You don’t need to stick around.”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, flicking on his own flashlight. “Yeah, right,” he mumbled under his breath. 

Something was obviously off about him, but I was too hungry and irritated to even ask him about it. We moved onto the next house, watching the bus leave as we jumped from shadow to shadow. Somewhere in the town, there must’ve been a generator of some sort because the lamplights buzzed and flickered as we maneuvered about. 

“Adeline!” I hissed as Daryl picked the lock of a large house. Once the door swung open, I instantly felt homesick. It was a gorgeous two-story home with plants growing along the ceilings and walls. A pricey statue of a lion stood proudly near the staircase. Food filled the kitchen, making it the first thing Daryl headed toward. Whoever owned this house before everything went to hell was obvious wealthy. 

Trying to block out the sound of Daryl rummaging through the cabinets, I poked around in the dining room. A long table sat in the middle with eight padded wooden chairs surrounding it. A beautiful, dusty candelabrum hung above. The candles had long since been melted from it, giving it an old style gothic feel. I pictured a family of vampires living here at some point. On the south side wall, my reflection turned to look at me. The mirror was bordered with some sort of gold lining, which would have set a high price about a year and a half ago. Now, money was worthless. 

I approached the glass, inspecting myself. The last time I was able to look at a mirror was during my first run with Daryl at the sporting goods store. Back then, I had noticed how much skinnier I was and how my hair matted together with dirt. This time, my eyes were circled with dark bags of exhaustion. My hair no longer looked real; the grease and dirt had changed it to a color closer to what Lori’s had been. Cuts and scrapes littered my forehead and cheeks. My lips were dry, cracked, and caked with blood near the right edge. I brought my tongue to it, tasting the metallic crusted liquid. 

“Find anythin’?” Daryl’s voice echoed down the hallway. 

“No,” I answered back, turning from myself. 

Eventually I made my way upstairs to the master bedroom. A king-sized, four-poster bed sat against the wall. My first reaction was to lie back on it and close my eyes for only a moment, so before Daryl had the chance to find me, I stripped myself of my backpack and practically threw myself onto the blankets and pillows. It was definitely more comfortable than my bed back at the prison. I wished I could drag it back with me. 

The man downstairs popped into my thoughts. I began to wonder why he hadn’t brought up the fact that I kissed him. Maybe it was that so many things were happening to quickly, but we had been alone together for going on two hours now. I thought he would’ve at least asked why I did it, but instead, he acted as if it never even happened. Though, I was a little grateful for that. I wasn’t even completely sure why I did it. Part of me wanted to believe that it was because I thought I could’ve died, but the other part of me believed that it was just the perfect opportunity. Was I willing to admit to that? Probably not, especially not to Daryl himself.

It felt as if I had only blinked when my eyes opened and the sunlight was peering down into the window. I squinted and rolled over, trying to figure out how I could’ve slept through the entire night. Everything seemed as I left it: I was alive and my backpack still sat near my legs. I must not have moved for hours; my body felt stiff and my neck ached every time I turned it too far to the side. After standing, stretching, and pulling my backpack on again, I gripped my gun tightly and headed for the stairs.

“Daryl?” I called out. I heard the sound of an empty call fall onto the kitchen floor, so I quietly tiptoed my way toward it, gun raised high. “Daryl?”

If it had been Daryl, he would’ve responded to me. As I rounded the corner, a group of four or five walkers came into my sights, moaning and slowly bumping into each other and the counters. They knocked objects from the surface and onto the floor, each time catching the others’ attention. I hurried to press myself against the opposite wall, slowly peeking around to see if Daryl’s face matched any of theirs. Luckily, he wasn’t among them and his body wasn’t on the ground. So, where was he?

Holding my gun tightly to my chest, I tried to calm my racing heart. I had no clue what to do. If I left without Daryl, how would I get back to the prison? I had no idea how to drive a motorcycle. Hell, I could barely drive a car without backing into a fence or a garbage can. Even so, how did I know that he hadn’t left without me? 

Just as I started to back away from the kitchen, a walker stumbled out, his back facing me. He wore an old, battered college football uniform and helmet. A shot to the head was out of the question. Trying to keep my breathing even, I stepped away from him as quietly as I could. A hand grabbed my upper arm from behind and before I had the chance to let out a surprised yelp, another hand snaked around and clamped against my mouth. The smell of cigarettes burned into my nose.

“Shh,” Daryl hissed into my ear, pulling me away from the walker. His hand dropped from my mouth and I allowed him to drag me through the house, his fingers still clasped around my bicep. 

We snuck around the hallways and out the house through the backdoor. Walkers roamed about the dead grass and as soon as we stepped foot onto the patio, I could’ve sworn we wore giant flashing signs on our heads that said, “Look over here! Fresh meat!” Every single one of them stopped aimlessly wandering about and snapped their dead gazes on us. Then, they started charging. 

“Fuck!” Daryl spat, his eyes frantically searching for an out. I kept my gun aimed at the closest walker, but I couldn’t bring myself to shoot her. I knew it would only bring more of them and right now, that was the very last thing I wanted to deal with. 

“Over there!” I said, pointing toward a sturdily-built treehouse. Without hesitation, we sprinted toward the rope ladder, dodging decayed teeth and nails as we ran. 

Daryl arrived first, but motioned for me to hurry and climb before him. As I struggled to lift myself from rung to rung, he forced a knife into the heads of the walkers over and over again until finally, there was enough room for him. The swaying weight below me made it even more difficult to pull myself into the tiny wooden house. 

“Hurry the hell up, Barbie!” Daryl yelled as he delivered his boot into a walker’s face. Finally, I was able to stumble into the treehouse. I turned, grabbed onto his arm, and used all the force I could muster to yank him in behind me. Daryl slammed the hatch shut and proceeded to sit on it, making sure that the walkers couldn’t get in, even if they had learned to climb.

We sat for who knows how long, listening to our ragged breathing and the groans of the walkers below us. Daryl refused to lift himself from the hatch. I sat against the wall, trying to figure out how exactly we were going to get around all of them to get to the motorcycle. 

“Where were you?” I finally asked once my heart felt like it was no longer going to pop out of my chest. 

Daryl raised his gaze from a stray rock on the hard floor. “Takin’ a piss,” he answered. “Thought I’d smoke ‘for comin’ inside.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You mean to tell me that during the time you smoked and peed, a gang of walkers made their way into the kitchen?” I asked incredulously. “Is that what you’re telling me right now?”

“Fuck off, girl. I ain’t gotta answer to you. You’re the dumbass who wanted to stay behind and then passed out! Don’t try to pin this shit on me!”

I wanted to argue with him. I really did, but somewhere deep down inside of me I knew there was no point. We were stuck in an empty treehouse together, surrounded by walkers, alone. What good would it have done to fight with him? 

“Whatever, Dixon,” I spat, hugging my legs to my chest. I rested my cheek on my left knee and closed my eyes tight. 

We couldn’t stay here forever. Maybe Rick would notice how long we’ve been gone and decide to come back and look for us? No, he knew Daryl was too resourceful for that. He had too much faith in him. There was no way we could just make a run for it either. There were much too many of them. We would be caught in a heartbeat. 

“What’re we going to do?” I whispered, asking mostly myself. 

“Dunno,” Daryl answered as he picked his nails with the tip of his blade. “Can’t stay here much longer though.”

“Why?”

“I’m hungry.”

Rolling my eyes, I released my legs to fish around in my backpack. “I found this,” I told him, throwing a granola bar into his lap. “I’m not sure if it’s still good, but its food.”

Daryl began to unwrap it, but stopped short. “Ain’t you hungry?”

Giving a small shrug, I returned to my previous position. “Not really,” I lied. “I can wait until we get back to the prison.”

“Could be a few days.”

“I know.”

“Here.”

I lifted my head to see that Daryl had broken the bar into two pieces, handing me the larger portion. His eyes told me not to argue with him, so I sighed in defeat and immediately stuffed it into my mouth. As the swirl of chocolate and peanut butter flavors hit my tongue, I closed my eyes and let out a tiny moan.

“I forgot how good these tasted,” I mumbled with a full mouth. 

“Merle always snuck four of these in my school lunches every day,” Daryl said softly, fondling the wrapper. “Our ma always got pissed off ‘cause the box was empty so fast and she had to buy more, but my damn brother thought I was always hungry.”

A small smile formed on my face. “Sounds like Merle wasn’t as bad as he wanted everyone to believe.”

“He wasn’t. He just liked actin’ like a hard ass all the time.”

Adeline wandered into my thoughts then. I missed her more than anything and not knowing if she was alive was more painful than everything else I’d ever felt. All I wanted was to see her perfect smile and listen to her laugh that somehow always reminded me of a faerie. A bitter feeling began to rise in my gut. If only I had paid more attention to her during the last attack on the prison. If she had been captured, I could’ve followed them and rescued her. If only I had been stronger, like she was. 

“Why’d you do it?” Daryl suddenly asked, snapping me from my thoughts. 

“Do what?” 

“You kissed me.”

I hesitated a moment for saying anything else. Honestly, I wished he would’ve forgotten about it. The last thing I wanted to do was explain myself. “Yeah, I did.”

“So, why?”

“I-I don’t know. I thought I was going to die,” I replied, my voice sounding tiny. 

“So you wouldn’t have done it if you thought you were gonna live?”

Letting out a huff of frustration, I stood to my feet and glanced out the small window. “You’re putting words in my mouth, Dixon,” I told him, eyeing the street on the other side of the fence. Daryl’s motorcycle still sat on the sidewalk, being gently bumped by passing walkers. Other than them, the town still seemed to be empty. 

“Ain’t cool to fuck with people like that, Harper,” he grumbled. He said it so low that I wondered if he meant for me to hear it, so I brushed it off like I didn’t. 

“Your bike is still there. If we can get to it, we can bust out of here,” I informed him. “But there’re walkers everywhere. I’m sure if we started a fire, we could distract most of them.” I heard shuffling behind me and when I turned to face him, I saw that Daryl had stood also, keeping his feet firmly on the hatch. Something about his expression, though, threw me for a loop. 

“We might die,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, you gonna kiss me again?” His tone came off mockingly, sending a flare of anger through my body. 

“What?”

Daryl moved to my side, peeking around me to see where his bike was. “That ain’t cool, Harper,” he mumbled. “Only kissin’ people when you think you’re gonna die. I don’t give two shits about it, but the next guy you end up with might.”

My heart plummeted. If anything, I hoped that kiss would’ve started something between us, but here Daryl was basically telling me that he had absolutely no feelings for me. At least, not in the same way I felt for him. I wasn’t even sure how I felt about him, but I knew that just being around him when he didn’t have a stick up his ass brought by mood up instantly. 

“Fair enough,” I replied through gritted teeth. “But it’s also not cool to be a complete ass to every girl you meet.” Before he could argue with me, I grabbed the front of his vest and pushed myself to my tiptoes, crashing my lips onto his. This time, I didn’t pull away after a second. I lingered, feeling his soft skin against mine. It wasn’t as if he didn’t return the kiss, which I almost expected. His hands grabbed at my waist, pulling me in tighter. Then, when I finally admitted to myself that this is what I wanted, we pulled away.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Daryl said, as if we hadn’t just kissed each other. He turned from me, licking his bottom lip. 

I nodded, my face burning, and raised my gun to peer through the sights. “Agreed.”


	28. Up In Flames

This plan of Daryl’s could not have been sketchier. I wanted to trust him that everything would work out exactly as he planned, but somewhere deep down inside me of grew a nagging feeling that one of us – if not both – was going to become walker food. He seemed so sure of himself that I almost believed that everything was going to work.

“I know I fuckin’ have it somewhere,” the archer hissed to himself as his cracked fingers fished around in his pockets. I watched in painful anxiety while he grumbled to himself, something about him swearing if he dropped it trying to save my ass…I never learned what he’d do because a small, filthy lighter that looked as if it had been through two wars became apparent in his hand. “On the count of three, got it?”

“Got it,” I answered sharply. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure it would explode from my chest at any moment. “My sister isn’t here,” I pointed out as Daryl flicked the lighter repeatedly over the empty cigarette pack. “I mean, if she was, we would’ve found her by now or she got caught up in this mess—“

“Harper,” he interrupted, glaring at me through his eyelashes. “Shut the hell up. I can’t concentrate when you’re runnin’ your damn mouth.”

“Sorry,” I murmured. With every passing second, Daryl seemed to become more and more disgruntled at the cigarette pack. It would catch fire for only a short moment before going out again, causing him to furrow his brows together and push his lips into a thin line. “How do you even know that’s going to work?”

“Merle did it once,” he replied curtly, as if my question had offended him. “The dumbass was so damn proud of ‘imself that he got too excited and threw it in a trash can. That thing lit up in secon – There, see. Shit ignites.” Lo and behold, the pack began to smoke, a tiny flame starting at the corner. Daryl hurried to duck and sit on the tiny window sill. Without looking at me, he pointed to the hatch of the treehouse. I wrapped the frayed rope around my hand, readying myself to run for my life. “One…two…three!”

Letting out a small grunt, Daryl chucked the flaming pack toward a patch of dead grass. I bit down on my lower lip as I pulled the hatch open, watching as the walkers below meandered toward the growing fire. With my quick and inept movements, the ladder swayed about uncontrollably as I climbed down. Once my feet hit the ground, I lifted my gun, turning in a circle to make sure we were free of any walkers. The backyard was clear; they were too distracted by the fire, which crackled wildly and spit tiny flames into the air. Some of the dead fell into it, catching fire to even more grass and more like it. 

“Quit watchin’ the show,” Daryl hissed, completely ignoring the ladder to jump from the treehouse. He landed with a dull thud next to me and immediately headed for the fence on the opposite side of the yard from where the walkers gathered. I followed right on his tracks, making sure to turn and scan our backside every few seconds. 

The fence that separated this house from the next stood at an easy six feet, so while I made sure nothing snuck up on us, Daryl lifted himself to his tiptoes and poked his head over the top. My hands trembled as I tightened my hold on my gun. As long as the walkers kept their distance, we were fine in the backyard. That fact still didn’t calm me any, though.

“What’s it looking like?” I whispered harshly, glancing sideways at Daryl.

“Shitty,” he responded as he stalked toward the gate to our left. Pushing it open only slightly, I was able to peek through toward the street. I felt stupid thinking that the backyard was bad; the neighborhood was packed. It looked almost like some iconic concert for a popular band minus the cheering, laughter, or any sign of happiness. Through the crowd, Daryl’s motorcycle faded in and out of view. 

“If we run…” No, that was a stupid idea. There were so many walkers that even if we did manage to run through the wave, one of them would eventually hook a mangled hand around our clothes or limbs and drag us to a stop. “Maybe another fire?” I suggested, pulling the gate closed so one of them wouldn’t see us. 

Daryl strummed his fingers against his crossbow, his eyes darting around rapidly. “Nah. Won’t get all of them. Unless…” His voice trailed off to somewhere distant as a flicker of hope glistened in his stare. He maneuvered around me and shuffled out from the gate, mouthing the word ‘stay’ toward me.

I watched from the safety of the backyard through a crack in the wooden posts. Daryl remained in a low crouched position as he lurked toward the walkers. The smoke of the nearby fire had caught the attention of a few of them, luring them toward the backyard. They bumped into the house, tripped over garbage cans, and blocked each other from reaching their fiery destination. Taking note of this, Daryl did his best to stay out of their line of sight by hiding in the back of the cluster. As he crept closer and closer to a very round female walker, I opened the gate and snuck onto the front lawn.

Her hair, which may have been a beautiful color of midnight black at one point, lit up in flames. Daryl shoved the lighter into his pocket and made his way toward me, paying no attention as more of the dead came into contact with the walker woman. Just as she fell to her ultimate death, another’s pants caught fire, spreading the embers to the others like it. 

“We have to move,” Daryl ordered, his voice strained. “Now.” His fingers curled around my wrist, holding me so rigidly that I let out a small cry of pain. In an instant, his hand fell from me and retreated back to his crossbow. 

As I jogged behind him toward the motorcycle, my focus remained on the burning walkers. My pace slowed to something resembling a powerwalk before stopping altogether. “You can kill them with fire,” I muttered to myself. “I hope Adeline knows that…”

“If she’s even alive,” Daryl snapped. 

Anger flared inside me as I whipped my head to glare at him. I wanted to scream and cry, all the fear of not knowing where my sister was coming back to me like a punch to the gut, but our environment called for silence and stealth. When we got back to the prison, I told myself, I could let everything out. 

“I never thought Merle would die, but he did,” Daryl explained, taking a moment to glance toward the walkers. “And if you don’t wanna end up like him, you need to get your ass in motion.”

His words brought me from my rage-filled state of mind and back to reality. We were sitting ducks in a sea of creatures looking to eat our guts for dinner. With a quick nod, I ran past him, reaching the motorcycle before he could catch up. He crawled on in front of me and began to start it as my arms snaked around his waist. 

“Why isn’t it starting?!” I asked, beginning to panic as the engine roared to life then quieted. I turned my head, seeing as the walkers that had yet to be captured by the fire stop stumbling toward the bellowing smoke and head our way. 

“Just give it – a goddamn – second,” Daryl told me between grunts as he pushed down on the metal bar below his feet. It was as if his words held some sort of magical power; the mechanical beast rumbled to life and began to purr. He chuckled to himself, patting the gas tank with his hand. “This thing’s always been faithful. She ain’t gonna let me down now.”

My eyes still locked on the approaching dead, I gave his midsection a gentle squeeze. “If you’re done whispering sweet nothings to your metal girlfriend, can you drive before we end up inside the stomach of a walker?” I urged. 

Daryl didn’t give me an answer. Before I knew it, the street was moving beneath the bike. As he drove further and further from the town, I watched as Woodbury and its dead residents became nothing but a smoking pile of rubble and memories hopefully able to be forgotten.


	29. What Family Does

“I’m so glad you two are safe,” Carol breathed into my ear as she pulled me into a tight embrace the second I got off the motorcycle. I hugged her back, burying my face into the crook of her neck. I’d never been so happy to see her in my entire time with the group. My hands trembling against her back, I lifted my head to see Rick approaching us, Michonne glued to his side.

“Did you find her?” the woman asked as Carol separated herself from me to speak with Daryl. I glanced from the samurai and shook my head. “I’m sorry, Harper. I really am.”

Giving a tiny shrug, I could almost feel my heart break at my indifference. “Either she’s dead or she abandoned us,” I said bluntly. “There’s nothing anyone could do about it, not even me.”

Speaking about Adeline left a bitter taste in my mouth, so I decided to head toward the prison before any more questions about her came up. I wanted to be angry with her, but part of me knew that whatever happened to her wasn’t her fault. Still, I couldn’t help but feel deserted. The one person in the entire world who I expected to be by my side for the rest of our lives no longer walked in front of me, bossing me around or scolding me for the stupidest little things. That was a sister’s job, though. That’s how it had been our entire lives. Now that I no longer had that, I felt as if a half of me had been ripped out.

“Hello, Harper,” Karen greeted me as I opened the metal doors to the cell block common area. A wide grin grew on her face as I looked around in utter confusion. “I’m guessing you might have a couple questions.”

Children roamed the room, playing tag or drawing on the floor with colored chalk. Carl stood with a group of boys who appeared to be a little older than him, seemingly laying down the rules of the prison. Hershel sat at one of the tables, a tiny baby giggling happily in his arms while the mother stood by, laughing along with her child. 

“No, I knew” I told the woman as I peered into the rest of the cell block. At least a dozen people chattered happily in groups. “I just didn’t realize how many people there were.” 

Karen moved around the table that separated us, setting down a piece of paper in the process. My eyes lingered on it before locking onto her face. I noticed a small cut just above her eyebrow had been cleaned. “I just want to say thank you,” she told me, “for letting us all come here even after everything that has happened. I can’t tell you how much we all appreciate it.”

I decided against telling her that it was Rick’s idea to take them along with us. I was too exhausted, too heartbroken, and too rancorous to speak with her at the moment. So instead, I simply flashed a small smile, made an excuse that my stomach was giving me pains – which it was; I hadn’t eaten since the granola bar back at the treehouse – and headed toward the cell I shared with my sister. I stood in the doorframe, staring at the empty bed. Adeline’s dirty clothes still remained untouched in a pile in the corner. 

Sitting on the bottom bunk, I buried my face in my hands. This time yesterday, she was still with us. I started to wonder what had been going through her head at that time. Did she know something bad was going to happen to her? Had she had her entire escape planned out exactly the way she wanted it? I felt guilty thinking of it with so little faith in her. I never thought that she would just leave me so easily like that. I thought our bond had been stronger. Even so, how did I know that something bad didn’t happen to her? Maybe she had just gotten chased away and couldn’t find her way back?

“Hey, Harper,” Maggie greeted me as she leaned against the bars of the cell. She smiled sympathetically as I lifted my head to look at her. “I just wanted to check and see how you’re doing.”

“I’m okay,” I lied, finally slipping my backpack off from my shoulders. “I grabbed a few things back at Woodbury.” Fishing through the pockets, I watched as another figure appeared next to Maggie. “Let’s see…I found some batteries, a few tampons, a mirror that hasn’t been broken ye—“

“Harper.”

I sighed heavily, glancing up at the two women. Michonne approached me, a cracked bowl in her hand. She sat next to me, took my backpack from my grasp, and replaced it with the bowl, filled with pasta. “One of the people we took in knows how to filter the water from the stream,” she explained to me. “They don’t taste like anything, but at least they aren’t hard.” I met her eyes. Although Michonne and I hadn’t really had the chance to get to know each other since she first came to the prison, I knew something about her had changed. She didn’t look at me as though I had killed her dog. Instead, her dark eyes were soft, as if she really was concerned about me. 

“I’m not very hungry,” I told her. “Oh, and I got a few toys for Judith. How’s Daryl—“

“Daryl’s fine,” Maggie said, her voice stern. “We got some food in him and now he’s passed out, which is what you need to be doing. He told us you haven’t eaten a decent meal since before the attack yesterday.”

Then it clicked what this was, the reason why they both came into the cell. It was an ambush of good intentions, trying to feed me and get me to rest. “Look,” I mumbled, forcing a smile onto my face for the both of them, “I really appreciate what you two are doing. I do, but I just can’t eat right now or sleep for that matter.”

“Not eating or sleeping isn’t going to bring your sister back,” Maggie pointed out. Her expression immediately changed. It looked as if she knew she had just said something she shouldn’t have and wished she could take her words back. Michonne’s quick glare only reinforced her feelings. “Oh God, Harper, I didn’t mean—“

“You told everyone?” I snapped at Michonne, my hands tightening around the bowl. Anger welled inside me. The irrational part of me wanted to start screaming and crying, but the rational part knew I was only feeling this way because I was exhausted and hungry, but I wasn’t willing to give into their requests for my well-being just yet. “You know, it isn’t your business to go around telling everyone about Adeline.”

“Well, it was a little obvious,” Michonne informed me. “when you came back without her. Everyone is worried about your sister and we’re going to find her. But right now, you need to rest and recover.”

“It’s what Adeline would’ve wanted for you,” Maggie chimed in, sending my shot nerves haywire. 

I stood from the bed and faced the brunette. “You don’t know what Adeline would’ve wanted for me, so don’t act like you do!” I barked. Guilt hit me when she flinched from my voice. I took a step back and shook my head, running a dirty hand over my face. “God, I’m sorry, Maggie. I’m just…You two are right. I need sleep. I’m sorry.”

I knew Maggie was hurt, but she smiled anyway. “We’ll check up on you later,” she said softly. “Just let us know if you need anything.”

The two left, giving me time to eat my cold pasta in the overwhelming sea of my thoughts. The food didn’t have any flavor, just like Michonne had said, but I still wolfed it down like it was the first thing I’d eaten in years. That’s what it felt like anyway. The hunger pains in my stomach soon disappeared and I was able to lie back on Adeline’s bed without feeling as if my insides were falling out. The scent of her pillow sent an aching feeling of homesickness through me, and before I knew it, I had fallen into dreams with nothing but her face in pictures.

o-o-o

Judith’s cries were the first thing I heard when my eyes opened. It felt as if I had slept for five years straight; my body ached and a monstrous rumbling roared from my stomach. As I glanced out the windows exiting my cell, I noticed that darkness had covered the sky. Most of the prison had fallen into a quiet hum of voices. Somewhere toward the shower area, banging echoed off the walls.

“We’re going to try and hook up a water system,” a deep voice told me as I passed a cell heading for the common area. I jumped in surprise, immediately doubling my hands into fists. From the cell, a tall, lanky man seemingly around my age emerged, a playful grin on his face. Flaming red hair framed his face and curled slightly at the bottom of his neck messily, as if it hadn’t been brushed in weeks. His eyes, a deep emerald color, lit up in some sort of unspoken humor.

“Please don’t sneak up on me like that,” I murmured, dropping my hands to my sides. 

“Sorry,” he said, his grin falling flat. “I forget that not everyone is as relaxed as I am. I’m Griffin.” He held out a hand toward me. As I slipped mine into it, I realized just how small I was compared to him. 

“I’m Harper,” I said. 

Griffin curled his hand around mine in a firm shake, but made sure to be gentle with his grasp. “Oh, so you’re the famous Harper that everyone won’t shut up about?” he inquired as he released my hand. 

I sighed in frustration. The last thing I needed was people talking about me behind my back for any reason. “What are they saying about me?”

His eyes avoided my stare awkwardly. “Well, it’s more of your sister than about you personally,” he admitted as if he was confessing to committing a serious crime. “I know that guy…Oh, what’s his name? Walks around like he’s got a stick up his ass, the one whose brother was the Governor’s pet…”

“Daryl?”

“Yeah, him. He’s been planning a search party for your sister.”

Something about this didn’t seem right. Why would Daryl, of all people, want to risk his life and the lives of other people to find Adeline? It didn’t seem like something he would even volunteer to do. “Well, it was nice meeting you,” I hurriedly told him as I turned to head for the stairs. “Have a nice night!”

“The pleasure was mine!” Griffin called, although I wasn’t really paying attention to him. “I’ll see you later, right?”

I entered the common room, watching as Rick, Maggie, Glenn, Hershel, Daryl, and Michonne stopped talking around one of the tables and turned to stare at me. Feeling small and uncomfortable, I walked toward them slowly. “What’re you guys doing?”

Hershel was the first to break away from their tiny group. He stopped me before I could reach the table. “Harper,” he said in the tone he used when he was being careful of his next words, “we’re going to send out a few of our people to find the Governor. A lot of us don’t think he’s dead and we don’t want to take that chance.”

“What about my sister?” I asked desperately. “Griffin told me that you’re sending out a search party for her.”

“The ginger kid?” Daryl asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I told ‘im to keep his fuckin’ mouth shut about it.”

I ignored Daryl’s insult toward Griffin and stared at Hershel pleadingly. I wanted answers and I felt as if he was the only one who would give them to me. “We suspect wherever the Governor is, Adeline will be at his side,” he said. 

“Then include me,” I ordered him. “She’s my sister, I have the rig—“

“We think you’ll be a better help here at the prison,” Glenn said. “You’re an organized person, so it’ll be easy for you to…”

His voice faded away to nothing inside my mind as I tried to process what was going on. They hadn’t been circling the table to decide where to look for the Governor or my sister. They were deciding my fate, what I was going to do like I was some sort of child. When Glenn stopped talking, I realized that I had been absentmindedly shaking my head the entire time. 

“No,” I finally said. “I don’t care what any of you say. I’m going even if it means I go by myself.”

Rick sighed and bowed his head, closing his eyes for only a short moment. “You’re an adult. You can do what you want,” he said. “But you need to learn to sometimes just sit back and trust that everyone else can help.”

The group wordlessly dispersed, except for Daryl. We surveyed each other in silence, waiting for the other to speak up. Finally, he did. “Glenn’s right,” he said. “You ain’t in any condition to go out there.”

Rolling my eyes, I turned my back toward him. Out of everyone else, I was hoping that Daryl would take my side. “Nobody gets to decide that for me,” I told him just before returning to my cell. “Not even you.”


	30. Say It Ain't So

This new life in the prison came much more easily than anyone expected. The ex-residents of Woodbury were assigned jobs within the community based on prior work experience and schooling. Within a week, the seemingly destroyed showers were up and running thanks to our mechanics of the group and with the help of a man claiming to be a hydrologist, a water filtration system had been built and put to good use; old water bottles were cleaned and refilled, and with clean water, the small garden began to show signs of promise. 

“Maybe in a few weeks, we’ll have coffee beans and the world will seem okay again,” Griffin had joked one day as we finished our patrol around the gates of the building. He’d given a short snort of a laugh, but his expression afterward didn’t deny his longing for coffee. 

Carol and Beth had taken on the role of teachers. They read to the children and preteens of the group from textbooks and storybooks that had been salvaged from runs. Every day at around noon, they would gather the younger ones into the prison’s library and sit around in a circle, talking of the world before the walkers roamed. 

Fortunately, a total of four chefs had been hiding away inside Woodbury. “As long as you keep bringin’ us supplies,” Helena, a 45-year-old ex-sous chef, had told us, “we’ll make sure this place never goes hungry again.” It seemed that Carol had also been quite the cook in her time, so she bounced back and forth between preparing meals and reading books.

Those who were deemed “physically fit” were placed near the fences during the daytime. They spent their hours setting up wooden spikes as a defense around the metal fences and fending off the walkers with anything they could find: rebar pipes, broken shovel handles, knives, and anything else that could be considered a weapon. Working in four hour shifts, they switched between in and out with groups of ten people. 

With Rick stepping down as our leader, a committee was elected. They consisted of people who the community thought were intelligent, focused, and willing to sacrifice their own personal beliefs for the good of the group as a whole. Daryl, Hershel, Sasha, Glenn, and Carol each had been more than appreciative when their names came up during the discussion. Then, just before the meeting of decision had been adjourned, Griffin’s hand flew straight up in the air. 

“Wait!” he had shouted over the hum of voices that cluttered the common room. “I think Harper would make a pretty good member of this council, too.”

The room had fallen silent as I turned to him in a whirlwind of confusion and anger. “Shut up,” I’d hissed, lightly smacking his stomach with the back of my hand. Turning back to the rest of the group, Daryl had narrowed his eyes at the younger boy while Carol’s face lit up. 

“You know, I agree. Harper has proven her loyalty to this prison on more than a dozen occasions. My vote is a yes,” she’d exclaimed as if I was on American Idol. One by one, the rest of the council had nodded and voted toward my membership until finally, every single pair of eyes in the room had fallen onto Daryl’s stiff figure. 

With a defeated sigh, he’d given a small shrug and rolled his eyes. “Ain’t gonna do much when it’s my word against ya’ll. So, yeah.”

And just like that, I’d been dragged into the council. One of the very first tasks that had been thrown onto my plate was to decide, with the help of Glenn and Daryl, who would be making runs every other day. We sat around a table in the common room a week after the council had been formed, our heads together over a list of everyone who seemed like they knew their way around a gun. 

“What about Reanna?” Glenn suggested, pointing to the name of a girl who seemed a year or two younger than me. Her argument for going was that she’d been hunting several times with her father before the world went to shit. 

Daryl absentmindedly chewed on the end of a pen as he studied her name. “Seems okay,” he mumbled. “If the girl can take down a two hundred pound buck, she can handle a couple walkers.” 

“So she says,” I retorted, fiddling with my own pen. “How do we even know if she told us the truth? She could’ve just been trying to impress you.” 

Although I meant it as a joke, Daryl turned his gaze toward me in a warning glower. For a reason unknown to me, since our return from the prison, he avoided me like I was one of the horrid things we were beginning to fear less and less. Unless he was informing me of a council meeting, he said absolutely nothing to me. He rarely even looked in my direction. The girl of discussion, Reanna, seemed completely infatuated with him. On her first day at the prison, she had asked nearly everyone about him. What was his favorite color? What was his middle name? What type of girls did he like?

Pretending as if my words hadn’t fazed him, Daryl turned back to the curious boy beside him, who looked at us as if examining some sort of piece of art. “My vote’s yes,” he said, reaching over to write a sloppy “DD” next to her name. 

Glenn nodded and pressed his own pen to the paper, writing “GR” next to Daryl’s handwriting. “Same,” he mumbled. “Reanna seems like she’s smart enough to get herself out of danger if she needs to.”

I ran a hand through my freshly cleaned hair, taking a short second to appreciate the feeling of being sanitary again. When the showers began to work, I was one of the first to jump into the stalls. “Okay, you guys are right,” I deadpanned, writing “HM” next to their initials. 

After five excruciating hours, our run group had been formed. Daryl, myself, Glenn, Sasha, Tyreese, Maggie, and Michonne were automatic yesses when our names came up. Aside from the seven of us, we agreed on Zach, a young college kid who Beth seemed to like a liking to; Reanna, the girl who squealed in annoying delight when we told her she had been picked; Asher, a thirty-year-old father who had lost his children only a few days into the outbreak; and Cora, a young woman who reminded me of Michonne when we first met her. She was cold and distant and showed no signs of excitement or fear when we told her the news. 

“What about Griffin?” I chimed in as Daryl started to stand from his seat. 

Groaning into his stretch, the archer shook his head. “Kid’s an idiot,” he said simply. “Can’t shoot straight to save his life.”

I glanced at Glenn for back-up, but he only shrugged. “I agree with Daryl,” he said. “He isn’t very good with a gun, but he _can_ do some damage with that pocket knife of his.”

This was true. Griffin religiously carried around a small pocket knife, claiming that it once belonged to his great-grandfather. “One day, you know, when all this zombie mess clears up,” he had told me once when I was showing those who weren’t so familiar with walkers how to put them down, “I’m going to have a son. And on his fifth birthday, he’s going to get this baby and listen to the same boring story I had to hear when I got it from my old man.” The way he jammed it between the eyes of the walkers was so graceful that it was almost like he was dancing, like he had been born with the blade in his hand. 

“I think we should add him, too,” Glenn said, writing Griffin’s name at the bottom of the list, along with his initials. Nodding, I wrote mine just to the left of his. The two of us peered up at the frowning man, who pursed his lips together and, with a quick head shake of disapproval, wrote “DD” next to my name. 

“I hope ya’ll know what you’re doin’,” he mumbled darkly. “This ain’t no field trip.”

o-o-o

Our first organized run had been set for the next day, so when night drew closer and the prison quieted down, the newer members of our group – with the exception of Cora – waited around in anticipation for the morning to come. While our proud chefs placed plates of food in front of us, they congratulated our small group as if they’d just been elected for prom kings and queens. This left something bitter inside me. Going out on runs wasn’t something to be proud of. It meant you were putting your life on the line every second you were outside the gates. As I watched Reanna giggle and flutter her eyelashes in Daryl’s direction, I began to wonder if we’d chosen the right people for this.

“What’s on your mind, baby doll?” Griffin inquired as he took a seat next to me against the cold concrete wall. He let out a quick sound of distress as his plate wobbled in his hands, but luckily he caught it before it could topple over onto the floor. 

I wasn’t entirely sure how to answer his question, so while I thought about the best way to approach this, I slowly chewed on what I hoped to be was a piece of chicken. Adeline was the first thing on my mind. Little did our run group know that Michonne and I had plans of our own for the next day: while everyone else searched for supplies and gas for the cars, we would be looking for my sister. Like me, the woman refused to believe that Adeline willingly went off with the Governor. 

The second thing on my mind was Daryl. No matter how much I tried to make myself think that the way he was acting didn’t bother me, it did. It was as if we were back to the first day that they had found Adeline and me running from the walkers. He acted as if he hated my guts and in response, I was starting to say anything I could that I knew would make him tick. I’d even reverted back to the comments about not knowing his who his father was, but even those didn’t trigger anything. 

After swallowing my bite, I shook my head. “Nothing,” I lied, glancing up through my bangs at Daryl. He sat on the stairs leading toward the giant metal doors to the outside. Reanna sat near his feet, babbling away about something he probably didn’t care about. Even so, he continued to nod along with her words as if he was listening. 

“Mmhm,” Griffin said through a mouthful of food. “Seen that look before.”

“What’re you talking about?”

He leaned closer to me, swallowed, and pointed his fork toward Daryl. “Either you’re jealous of Dickhead’s new girlfriend,” he said matter-of-factly, “or you’re not likin’ the food.”

I let out a sarcastic laugh and rolled my eyes, my heart slamming hard against my chest. “Neither one of those. The food is great, considering. And ‘Dickhead’? Is that what you’re calling him?”

Griffin shrugged and licked his lips. “Well, I can’t remember his real name and he does act like a dickhead most of the time. Okay, all of the time. So, I figured, why not just call him that? It’s much easier.”

I laughed again, but this time, it was genuine. Even though it was at Daryl’s expense, laughing about his nickname made me feel better about the way he had been treating me. Though, only a moment later, I felt guilty about it, and my giggles died down into a deep sigh. “He has his reasons, I’m sure,” I told Griffin. “Everyone acts like a dickhead sometimes.”

“Not you.”

I glanced sideways at him. “You’ve only known me a week, Griffin. You don’t know anything about me.”

The man refused to meet my curious stare. Instead, he watched Carl and another boy near his age named Patrick. They sat huddled together with a pile of comics in their laps, comparing characters and story plots. “I know that you’re the reason why I’m going on a run tomorrow,” he said quietly. “Glenn told me. I think that was pretty cool of you. And I know that you’re always the first to volunteer to take Martha on her walks. It takes a special kind of person to have so much patience for the elderly, especially with that woman. You’re a nice girl, Harper, and I like hanging around you.”

Like they always did when I became nervous, my palms started to sweat. I could feel the heat rushing to my face as I smiled at him. “Thanks, Griffin,” I said, trying to figure out if he was hitting on me or not. I hurried to stand up and, noticing his plate was empty, held out my hand for it. “I’m on dish duty tonight.”

Instead of giving me his plate, he slid his hand into my palm. I pulled him to his feet. He grabbed my plate before I had the chance to avoid his fingers. “I’ll do it for you tonight,” he said. “I know how you like to take two showers a day. What were you, a princess or something?”

I let out another chuckle. “Something like that,” I answered before turning and walking toward my cell. I passed Daryl and, even though I tried my hardest not to look at him, my eyes wandered to his figure just in time to witness Reanna reach for his hand.


	31. Keeping Score

“Why a pharmacy?” Reanna griped, rolling her forest green eyes into the back of her head. She nearly tripped over a broken chair. “Why not a store full of make-up or nice clothes that don’t have holes ripped in them?”

I bit the inside of my cheek hard to keep myself quiet. The entire time we’d been searching for the pharmacy that Asher swore up and down still existed, the younger girl complained relentlessly. When we finally found it, she practically alerted every walker within a ten mile radius with her shriek of happiness, and then continued to whine that we had to search it. When Zach had suggested that we split up to ransack the building, she’d tried to volunteer herself to go with him, Daryl, Griffin, Maggie, Asher, and Michonne. Unfortunately, she had somehow ended up in my group, which consisted of Cora, Glenn, Sasha, and Tyreese. 

“Sounds like something you would say,” Glenn teased, nudging my arm softly. I glared upward at him, clicking my flashlight on as we advanced into a dark hallway. 

“Har har,” I replied flatly. “You were probably a comedian before all this, huh?”

“I delivered pizzas, actually,” he answered, heading toward a door that seemed to have been blocked off at one point. A desk sat sideways near it, chairs littering the rest of the hallway. “Seems like someone didn’t want people to get in here.”

“Or walkers,” Cora added as she shoved past him. Glenn and I exchanged a quick glance. That had been the first time we heard the girl speak since we left the prison earlier that morning. Something about her gave me a strange feeling. I wanted to trust her, but part of me knew something inside her was festering and I was expecting her to explode any moment, taking us with her in the process. I kept my distance from her, watching from the sidelines as she shoved her knife into the heads of the walkers and listened to orders in a way that made me wonder if she was truly paying attention. 

We followed after her reluctantly. While she fished through seemingly empty cabinets, I searched cardboard boxes, torn and moldy, for anything we could bring back. “This is disgusting,” Reanna whined from behind me, holding up a ripped jacket. “Who does this to a perfectly good top?” 

I turned and peeked over my shoulder at her. I had to admit, the jacket probably was pretty before and I probably would’ve worn it. Reanna held it between her thumb and pointed finger as if it were a dead rat, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Just put it down,” I told her sternly. I’m sure my annoyance was obvious in my voice because she looked at me like I’d just slapped her. “We aren’t here for clothes.”

“Whatever,” she murmured, letting the jacket fall to the ground. “You’re not the boss of me.”

Tyreese stopped what he was doing and turned his attention toward us, watching eagerly. Sasha hissed something too low for the rest of us to hear at him and he immediately stopped eavesdropping. I stood straight and faced the younger girl. “Excuse me?” I said. “Do you have a problem with me?”

Reanna gave a nonchalant shrug. “Look, sweetie, I know you’re jealous of me,” she cooed as if she was speaking to a toddler. “I get it. I mean, I’m twenty-one, I have an awesome body, and I’ve got one of the most attractive men at the prison wrapped around my finger.” She lifted a slender finger, twirling it in a circular motion. “And you’re, what, twenty-five, six, seven? Almost thirty? Daryl seems to like ‘em a little on the younger side. And sure, you’re pretty, I guess. Your hair can use some work. How long has it been since you’ve trimmed your split ends?”

Her voice faded away into a hazy warble of words. I stared at her in disbelief, my mouth wide open. I was used to the people of Woodbury nearly bowing in appreciation to me, not attacking every part of my physical existence. I wasn’t even angry that she was pointing out my flaws. What pissed me off the most was that she brought up Daryl. At my sides, my hands curled into tight fists. A fire grew inside me until finally, I could see no other solution than landing my fist right in her nose. 

“Hey,” Glenn snapped, cutting off whatever Reanna was saying. He approached her, standing between the two of us, and glowered intently at her. My body shook with fury, but for some reason, I was frozen in place. "Shut your goddamn mouth, got it? Either you put that thing you call a brain to use and find something, or you can expect to be left behind when we leave,” he hissed dangerously. “You’re not better than anyone else here, so quit acting like you are.”

Reanna tried to stare him down, but her bottom lip began to quiver and her eyes filled with tears. A tiny whimper escaped her mouth when she turned from him, batting her eyelashes dramatically. I shook my head, trying to figure out if people like this could really exist. Unfortunately, they did. In the back of my mind, I started to wonder if this was what I was like when I was her age: bratty, conceited, and obnoxious. God, I hoped not. 

“Knock it off,” Sasha told her, stuffing some gauze into her backpack. “You’re acting like a twelve-year-old.”

From the corner of the room, Cora grunted and pulled out a drawer, causing a loud crash to echo down the hallway. We all stiffened, waiting for the moans and groans of the walkers. After five minutes of silence, we let out a breath of relief. “If we’re keeping score with the other group,” Cora said, a giant smile growing on her freckled face, “I’d have to say I just got us a thousand points.”

I peeked over her shoulder and every single negative feeling that had been building inside me disappeared in half a second. The drawer had been stuffed with bottles of nearly every pain reliever I could think of and then some. I crouched next to her, reading the labels for Aleve, Vicodin, Tylenol and so many others. I let out a squeal of happiness, wrapping my arms around Cora’s shoulders. Even though I felt her tense up at my touch, I pressed my lips to her cheek. “You’re a hero, Cora,” I told her, swinging my backpack around to put every single bottle into the pockets.

o-o-o

“What do you mean?” Maggie asked once we finally met up with the other group. Their findings didn’t go as well as ours did, but they did manage to find toys and picture books for the younger children. “We can’t leave you two here! The prison is ten miles out!”

Everyone in the group with the exception of Michonne and Reanna – she was too busy ogling Daryl as if he was the last man alive – stared at us like we were crazy. I glanced at the woman pleadingly. She was much more forceful with her words than I was. “We’ll be fine,” Michonne said. “We’re just going to look around here for Adeline. We’ll be back before sundown.”

“Not on foot, you won’t,” Daryl retorted, obviously ignoring the girl at his side. “Even if ya’ll don’t find any walkers along the way, it’ll take you ‘til tomorrow night. Maybe.”

“Yeah, you know, I have to agree with the majority here,” Griffin chimed in, his face full of worry. His clothes showed signs of a struggle with a walker or two: dark red blood had been splattered across his shirt and face. It remained crusted on the blade of his pocketknife. “Maybe we should split into groups again, this time with different people” – he narrowed his eyes toward Daryl – “and have more of a defensive cover.”

I shook my head slowly, watching the unspoken battle between the two men. They both glowered at each other, but neither of them said anything directly. All the while, Reanna continued to bat her eyelashes at the archer. I found myself wanting to rip her eyelids out. “Michonne and I have had this planned since yesterday,” I told them. “I don’t think a big group will help much with this. We’ll only search for a few hours and then head back.”

Daryl turned to Michonne. “I’ll go with Harper,” he suggested. “I’ve got the motorcycle, so we’ll make it back sooner.”

This took me by complete surprise. For a week, he had treated me like shit and now he was volunteering to spend time with me? Alone? I wanted to refuse his help, but the look of horror on Reanna’s face was just too perfect to pass up. “That’s a good idea,” I said quickly. “I mean, the bike does make sense.”

Michonne seemed convinced. She gave a small nod and ordered everyone to the truck we’d driven here. Daryl and I watched as some of the members of the group hopped into the bed while the rest piled into the front. Reanna raised her middle finger toward me, which I replied to with a happy wave. Griffin threw me a concerned glance from the bed of the truck. I smiled at him and mouthed, “Don’t worry.”

Once the truck was out of sight, Daryl sighed heavily and turned from me. “Where to, Barbie?” he asked curtly. 

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Just around, I guess.”

So around we went, wandering aimlessly through the cracked and foliage-ridden streets of this tiny, unnamed town. Most of the buildings had been boarded up long ago, so we avoided them. “Walkers, probably,” Daryl explained. “Ain’t no other reason to nail boards on the doors and windows.”

We hardly said anything else to each other for hours. The only time I heard his voice was when he shouted my sister’s name. There was never a reply. Just silence and the faraway choking groan of a walker. The entire time, I tried to think of ways to ask him why he was acting so strangely toward me, but whenever I opened my mouth, my words seemed to disappear. 

“You know,” I mumbled, finally giving up on interrogating him, “every time we’re alone together, bad things happen.” I kicked an empty can, watching it roll down the cracked street. 

“Hm.”

“Like the treehouse,” I continued, letting out a short, sarcastic laugh. “I really did think we weren’t going to make it out of there for a second. If I had been alone, I’m sure I would’ve died.” I met his eye for a quick moment when he glanced down at me curiously. “I almost expected you to just leave me there and cover your own ass, but you didn’t.”

“Hm.” Daryl’s eyes locked on the bike. Without realizing it, we had changed our direction and began heading toward it. I wasn’t going to complain, though. I knew Adeline wasn’t anywhere around and I was beginning to feel hungry. My stomach rumbled at the thought of pancakes from earlier in the morning. Who would’ve thought that pancake mix could still be good after a year and a half?

I strummed my fingers nervously on the metal of my gun, trying to decide whether or not to bring up the kiss. Maybe that was the last straw, the reason why Daryl’s entire attitude changed? “So, um, you and Reanna, huh?” I squeaked, immediately wishing I would’ve mentioned the kiss instead. 

“No,” he said quickly. “She’s like you: annoying, immature, and stupid.” My mouth fell open, just as it did when Reanna was verbally attacking me. Compared to this, though, her words seemed sweet as candy. What Daryl was saying caused my feet to come to a sudden halt and a lump to form in my throat. He stopped, too, and turned to face me. “What? You gonna cry? Yeah, you two are like twins.”

I felt sick as I forced myself to walk past him, lowering my head to hide my teary eyes from him. “Just take me back to the prison, Dixon,” I demanded, my voice tight with anger and hurt. Neither of us said another word as we left the town behind us.

o-o-o

I couldn’t look at anyone when we returned to the prison. I intentionally avoided the curious stares of the community as I headed for my cell. Hopefully they would just assume I was upset because we didn’t find Adeline. That was only partly true. My mood slightly increased, though, when I pulled the blanket that separated my cell from the rest of the block shut, leaving me in complete darkness.

I laid on my bed for an hour or maybe two, lost in my own thoughts. Daryl’s words repeated over and over in my mind. He thought I was just like Reanna. I’m sure one of his bolts lodged in my arm would’ve been less painful. If anything, I wanted to be the exact opposite of her. 

“Harper, honey?” Carol’s soft voice called from the other side of the blanket. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

One of the things I liked most about Carol was that she didn’t assume. She didn’t assume that I wanted my small lamp on because she left it off, even when she stumbled over my belongings to reach my bed. Sitting down carefully to avoid my legs, she exhaled slowly before asking, “Are you okay?”

“No,” I replied honestly. “I can’t decide if I’m pissed off at Daryl or Reanna or Adeline. Or all three of them. I don’t know. I’m just confused.”

“Do you want to talk abou—“

I didn’t even give her a chance to finish before jumping right into explanations. I told her about everything: the night Daryl and I shared after Merle’s death, the quick kiss I gave him before the attack from the Governor, the treehouse, my experience with Reanna earlier. I tried my hardest not to cry while telling her, but my voice still cracked in the most inconvenient times. When I finally finished half an hour later, I felt Carol’s hand rest on my ankle. 

“I want you to do something for me, Harper,” she said in an almost whisper. “Think about that treehouse. You said he kissed you back, but now that you’re upset with him instead of infatuated, did he really?”

I fell silent as I thought back on it. “Oh, shit,” I murmured. Carol was right – it had been completely different from the way I remembered it. Daryl never did kiss me back and when I thought he had been pulling me closer, it was the exact opposite. He was pushing me from him. With a quiet groan, I pressed my face into the thin blanket. “I screwed up.”

“You probably just scared him, is all. Daryl does…Well, he isn’t very good with showing that he cares. Mind you, he’s getting better at it. He’s trying, but it’s still hard for him,” she explained. 

“I don’t think he does. At least, not for me.”

“If he didn’t care about you, he would’ve left you alone in that treehouse. And he wouldn’t have offered to stay with you to look for your sister today.”

One of the younger girls, Mika, poked her head in. “Ms. Carol, Rick is looking for you,” she piped up, her breathing heavy from running up the stairs to the catwalk. 

Carol turned and smiled at the girl. “I’ll be there in a moment, sweetheart.” Once Mika had disappeared, the woman looked at me again. She leaned over and planted a kiss on my head. “Just give him time and space to figure this out. He’s just scared – remember that.”

She left me to myself once more. I closed my eyes tightly, tossing and turning for hours. Just before I fell into the void of unconsciousness, I could’ve sworn I saw Daryl peek through the blanket for just a second. I opened my mouth to call his name, but my mind was already too far gone and darkness had swallowed me.


	32. Fifty Miles On Foot

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty, you hungry?” 

I cracked my eyes open before immediately shutting them again. A low groan escaped my mouth as I turned over, facing my back to the intruding redhead at my bedside. My neck ached with a dull pain; I must've slept on it wrong. “I'm not ready to get up yet, Griff,” I mumbled into my pillow. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me in the early stages of my day: hair a mess, drool crusted on the side of my face, and heavy bags of exhaustion underneath my eyes. 

“Oh, get over yourself, princess,” he retorted, pushing me toward the wall so he would have a place to sit. I tried to cover myself the best I could with my blanket, but he ended up just ripping it from me. “You're already late. Everyone is wondering where you are.”

Covering my face with my arm, I answered, “Tell them I'm busy and they'll have to make an appointment.”

“Yeah, because you're just so important.”

Without giving me a chance to spit out some kind of witty remark, Griffin wrapped his arms around me roughly and picked me up as if I weighed only ten pounds. “Stop it, Griffin!” I demanded, struggling against him. Unfortunately, he was much stronger than he looked. With ease, he carried me from my cell, making faces at two of the younger girls, Mika and Lizzie, as he walked down the catwalk with me. When I decided to go along with it -- falling limp dramatically with my hand over my forehead and exclaiming, “Oh, my hero saves me once again from the evil hands of slumber!” – the two erupted into fits of high-pitched giggles. 

Once we entered the common area, Griffin stopped and set me on my feet. I caught Rick's eye, who approached me in a hurried manner with Judith in his arms. She cooed happily, reaching up to touch his untamed beard. “Morning,” he greeted me. 

I smiled at the infant, holding my hand toward her so she could wrap her tiny fingers around my pinky. “Good morning,” I replied. “Sorry I woke up so late. I didn't sleep very well last night...” My voice trailed off as I glanced behind Rick, meeting Daryl's angry stare. Without a word, the archer lifted himself from one of the tables and headed outside, a bloodied pipe in his hand. 

“Don't worry about it,” Rick said, his own voice full of a certain sleepiness. “Everyone is still adjusting. Anyway, I was wondering if you could go on patrol duty with Griffin and Daryl today?”

His request brought a strange sort of skepticism to my gut. I knew Griffin and Daryl didn't hate each other, but it was obvious they didn't get along for whatever reason. I never asked Griffin about it and seeing as I was sure that Daryl couldn't stand to even look at me again, I definitely wasn't going to question him about it. Just as I was about to ask how those two got paired up with each other, Judith scrunched up her face and began to scream. Rick bounced her only twice before letting out a heavy sigh.

“Diaper change,” he admitted. “So, you don't mind then? Okay, good, good. Thank you, Harper.”

I opened my mouth to say that I hadn't made a decision, but he was already on his way toward his cell, humming softly to his wailing daughter. Griffin nudged my arm, smirking playfully. “Don't worry, Harp,” he said. “I'll make sure Dickhead doesn't disrespect the princess.”

o-o-o

“Shh, shh,” Daryl hissed, crouching low. He motioned with his hands for Griffin and I to do the same behind him. We shot each other a confused glance before copying his movements. “Look.” He lifted a finger between a few branches, raising his opposite pointer to his lips.

I pressed my palms to the damp ground, crawling between the two men to see what he was so focused on. About a hundred feet away, a female deer stood calmly in the middle of a clearing. Her stomach bloated out on both sides. “She's pregnant,” I whispered, trying to imagine a cute baby deer inside of her. “You're not thinking of killing her, are you?”

“'Course I am,” Daryl spat back, looking at me as if I was the stupidest person he'd ever met. “Meat's meat. She'd feed the group for a good week or so.” He lifted his crossbow and squinted through the sights. 

I hurried to press his weapon toward the ground. “She's pregnant!” I repeated. Daryl opened his mouth to argue with me, but I hurried to speak before he could. “Think about it, Daryl. She's one deer, right? She's going to give birth to another deer. One plus one equals two.” 

“Well, this is going in the opposite direction that I expected,” Griffin admitted in a low hush of a voice. “Makes sense, though.”

“Nobody asked you,” Daryl retorted. 

The two began to bicker back and forth. While they were distracted, I grabbed a decently sized rock from the ground and tossed it toward the doe. It clacked against a tree trunk, sending her running for her life. The two men instantly became quiet. Daryl glared harshly at me. 

“You fuckin' kiddin' me right now, Harper?!” he growled. “Do you realize how much food you just let go?!”

“In about a month, it'll be more food!”

“If we can even find it again!”

“Uh, guys...”

“There are probably so many deer around here that it won't matter!”

“Are you even hearin' yourself right now?!”

“Guys...”

“Why are you being such an ass lately, Dixon?!”

“Why are you actin' so stupid, Barbie?!”

Our fight was cut short when Griffin covered both of our mouths with his hand. “Shut the fuck up,” he ordered in a whisper. Daryl instantly tore the redhead's hand from his face while I just stared at him in curiosity. He turned his head, staring intently on something through the bushes we hid behind. Never before did I notice the jagged scar just below his left ear. 

Daryl's jaw locked for a split moment. I expected him to start yelling at the younger man, but instead, he only turned his head to see what he was looking at. “Oh, shit,” he mumbled, grabbing for his crossbow. I didn't hesitate to stumble over him to peek between the branches. My stomach dropped. 

Why I didn't hear them before, I couldn't tell you. Maybe because they were too far away at the time or because I was so irritated with Daryl that his voice drowned everything else out? Now, they were so close that if I reached through the bush, I could touch a foot or an ankle. About thirty walkers limped, lumbered, and crawled toward the spot where the doe had once stood. Without thinking, the three of us huddled closely together to remain concealed behind the bush. 

“The damn rock,” Daryl breathed in my ear. I turned to look at him, my face burning hot when I realized just how close we were. Our noses nearly touched and I could smell his last cigarette on his lips. 

“Wait it out?” Griffin mouthed silently. Daryl nodded. 

Between the two, I felt uncomfortably small and helpless. What if one of the walkers smelled me and grabbed me through the bushes? What if they grabbed either one of them? I had no doubt in my mind that they would be able to save me in time to spare me of a bite, but I wasn't so sure about myself. I wasn't nearly as strong or as fast as they were. Images of Griffin, writhing in pain, popped into my head. My breathing suddenly became ragged and difficult. Then, Daryl in the same position came and it felt as if my heart had stopped altogether. I started to tremble against the two as I forced my eyes shut tightly, trying to rid myself of the thought. 

“Shh,” Daryl whispered, wrapping his hand around the back of my head to pull my face into his chest. This caught me by complete surprise and immediately vanquished my horrid thoughts. I started to pull myself away from him, but he lowered his lips to my ear once more. “Why the hell are you cryin'? You've done this before.” I hadn't realized it, but tears were forming in my eyes. Knowing Daryl wouldn't release me, I kept my face hidden against his dirty shirt, breathing in his musky scent. 

Half an hour had to have passed before any of us moved an inch. Eventually, the groans faded away into the usual sounds of the forest and the three of us fell apart. “At least they're heading away from the prison,” I pointed out, hurrying to wipe my eyes. “The people posted at the fences are having a hard enough time as it is.” 

I turned my head to face the two. Both the men wore confused expressions on their faces, one more intense than the other. “So, uh, what's with the waterworks?” Griffin inquired awkwardly. I started to walk from them, trying to avoid the question, but he wrapped his fingers tightly around my bicep. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

“It's nothing,” I lied. “Just some stupid stuff. We should get ba--”

“No, really,” he pressed on. “What's wrong?”

“If she don't wanna talk about it, she don't have to,” Daryl snapped, approaching the younger man slowly. “Let her go.”

Griffin's hand tightened around me for a split second before he released me. He didn't say anything, but the two stared each other down, looking as if they were readying themselves to launch at the other and attack. My heart thumped painfully against my chest as I waited for one of them to say or do anything. Finally, Daryl broke the glare and began to walk from us. Without waiting for Griffin, I hurried after him. I could hear the heavy thumps of his footfalls behind me the entire walk back to the prison. 

When the gates creaked open, Maggie and Carl flashed us inquisitive smiles. “Had a doe,” Daryl informed them, “but little miss hero over here scared her away.” He jutted his chin toward me accusingly. 

“She was pregnant!” I defended, throwing my hands up in exasperation. “You'll all thank me in a few months!”

The matter of the animal was shortly dropped, though, when Reanna stalked by, her piercing gaze glued on me. As Griffin broke off from us, I pretended that I didn't see her, but before I knew it, she was right on us, a taut pucker to her lips. “So?” she demanded to know, placing her hands on her hips. “Find anything?” Letting out a sigh of annoyance, Daryl made his way past her without saying a word. I tried my hardest not to smile at his actions, but I'm sure the girl saw the corners of my mouth turn upward as I followed him into the building. Hershel and Carol greeted us with a few energy bars and cups of water, which we graciously took. 

“Harper, we could've fed quite a few people with that doe,” Hershel scolded me after Daryl had informed the two of the entire trip. He didn't seem angry, but his tone told me that I should've known better than to scare her away. “Pregnant or not.”

I groaned and shut my eyes, takinga deep breath before opening them again. “Can we just drop the doe, please?” I begged, absolutely sick and tired of hearing about it. “Okay, sure, maybe I screwed up, but can we move past it? Let's talk about something more urgent, like the giant horde of walkers we saw?” I glanced toward Daryl, mentally pleading him to help me out. 

“They were goin' north,” he said as if it wasn't a big deal. “Ain't no reason for 'em to turn around and head our way, 'less somethin' draws 'em here.”

Carol and Hershel nodded to themselves and the four of us fell into an awkward silence. Every so often, the two would peek at each other and then let their gazes fall to the tabletop. Eventually, Carol inhaled as if she was about to say something, but let it go instead. 

“What?” Daryl asked, chewing on the last bite of his energy bar. 

“Hershel and I were talking before you got back,” Carol started, her eyes meeting mine, “and we were just curious about something, Harper. If you don't mind me asking, where were you and your sister going when we found you?”

Her question caught me by surprise. “W-We were, well,” I stammered, trying to figure out the best way to word my thoughts. “We were on our way to our aunt and uncle's home. You see, my uncle, he always thought – no, he knew – that the world would go to shit during his lifetime, so he stocked up on everything you could ever need years ago – things that won't go bad for another twenty years. So, Adeline, our butler, and I thought it would be best to go there once we lost our parents.” Talking about my family brought a certain kind of pain to my chest. I wasn't even completely sure if I had anyone left; I didn't know if my sister, my aunt, or my uncle were still alive. For all I knew, I was the only survivor. 

Carol's delicate hands, scraped and fresh with tiny cuts, circled mine. Her skin felt strangely cold. “It must be difficult to talk about,” she said, her voice soft and comforting. “Losing family is the hardest thing anyone could ever go through. Thank you for letting us know.”

Despite the hard lump forming in my throat, I gave her a small smile. I didn't want to cry a second time today. “No problem,” I murmured, dropping my wavering gaze to our hands. My skin was beginning to look a lot like hers: worn, cracked, and dry. Among plenty of other things, I missed lotion.

o-o-o

I spent the rest of my day with my family drifting in and out of my thoughts. While I bounced Judith around in rhythm of my steps around the prison, I tried to picture my aunt and uncle living on their small ranch like the entire world around them didn't go to hell. It was so clear in my mind that when I closed my eyes, I could almost taste my aunt's strawberry rhubarb pie on my tongue as I sat on the front steps to her porch.

When the sun lowered itself over the tips of the trees and we all gathered into the common area of the prison, I took my usual spot against the wall, a plate of rice in my hands. Griffin seemed to be keeping his distance from me, which I partly understood. It was obvious that I'd upset him back in the forest when I decided to remain neutral instead of taking his side against Daryl. Even so, I still caught his eye a few times until he cracked a tiny smile. Feeling as though he had forgiven me, I returned it. 

“So, your uncle knows all 'bout this stuff?” Daryl asked, his voice coming from nowhere. My body jolted in surprise and I caught my plate before it could fall onto the floor. The entire time I'd been focused on Griffin, he'd been standing next to me. Slowly, he slid onto the cold concrete and balanced his plate on his thigh. 

“That's what he claimed,” I explained, taking another bite of my tasteless rice. “He never let us see his apocalypse storage. My mother always thought he was a little screwed-up in the head, but my father said that he was just prepared for anything.”

“Think Adeline would've gone there?”

My jaw stopped moving mid-chew. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind before. I set my fork on my plate and swallowed before responding to him. “There's an idea,” I mumbled. “I don't know if she would've made it. They live about twenty miles west of Macon.”

Daryl shrugged, pursing his lips together. “Fifty miles on foot ain't so bad.” We didn't press the subject anymore for the rest of the night, but it still gnawed away at me until I decided that once the sun perked up the next morning, I would set out for my aunt and uncle's farm.

o-o-o

“You're sure about this?” Rick asked me for the tenth time. I only nodded as I stuffed another shirt into my backpack. He, along with Carol, Hershel, Michonne, and Maggie, stood in the doorway to my cell, each of them sporting their own variation of a concerned stare. It didn't matter how much persuading they threw at me – I was dead-set on my motives.

“If my aunt and uncle are still alive, then I'm going to try to bring them back,” I repeated for the eleventh time. “If my uncle really does know how to survive well, then he'll be good to have in the community, don't you think? And if Adeline is there, then that's a bonus.” 

Their replies were nothing but silence. Since my announcement to the council that I would be gone for a week, maybe two, the small gathering of people seemed to fly into a frenzy. Most of them immediately tried to convince me to stay, telling me that we can put together a group of people to go. Although that seemed to be a good idea, I ultimately rejected it, saying that I didn't want to be responsible for the lives of other people. The only person who seemed to be indifferent to my choice was Daryl, who slipped away like a ghost while everyone else chattered among themselves about other solutions. 

“Is there anything you'll need?” Maggie offered, finally realizing that there was no changing my mind. 

I pondered her question for a quick moment. “Actually, yeah,” I replied, turning to face them. “A ca--”

“Taken care of,” Daryl declared as he suddenly appeared between Rick and Michonne. He twirled a key ring around his pointer finger. “You ready or not? I ain't waitin' all day for you.”

“You're going?” I asked, sounding a little more surprised than I wanted to. 

He looked as confused as I felt. “I'm the one who gave you the idea, so yeah, I'm comin' with you. Besides, you'll die in ten minutes if you're on your own. Now hurry up, Barbie. Get your ass in gear.”


	33. MacManus Ranch

“Are you pissed?” Daryl inquired, turning down the music only a few notches so I could hear him. Pulling me from my thoughts, I lifted my head from the window and glanced at him. The archer always seemed so relaxed when he was driving; he sat reclined in the chair, the leg he wasn't using to press the gas pedal curled to support his arm, with a half-finished cigarette between his fingers. The cracked window whistled quietly between his words. 

“I'm over it,” I replied, interlocking my fingers in my lap. Daryl didn't say anything more. Instead, he hummed along to the music after turning the volume back up. Luckily, whoever owned the car before we got a hold of it had the same kind of music interests as he did – the kind of music I could never stand to listen to. But now, watching him nodding his head slightly to the beat and his lips occasionally and silently forming the words, I didn't mind it so much. 

My mind drifted back to just before we pulled out of the prison. As Daryl and I threw weapons and a few backpacks filled with supplies into the back of the car, Griffin had stormed from the common area of cell block C. He'd shoved Daryl hard, shouting things that didn't make any sense to me. “Fuck you, man!” Griffin had bellowed, slamming his hands against Daryl's chest once more. “We had an agreement and now you're screwing me over?! Fuck you!”

When I'd asked Daryl what that was all about after we left, he just shook his head and told me, “The kid thinks he's in love with you and he's pissed off that we're alone together.” Even though it only satisfied half of my curiosities, I left the topic alone. The last thing I felt like dealing with at the moment was an annoyed Daryl. I much rather preferred the side of him that I was seeing now: a reflection of what he could've been like before the end of the world. 

_“Workin' double time on the seduction line. She was one of a kind. She's just mine, all mine,”_ Daryl sang in a low voice. I assumed he was trying to be quieter than the AC/DC CD that we had found beneath the driver's seat, so I stared out the window at the passing trees, pretending I couldn't hear him. _“The earth was quakin', my mind was achin', and we were makin' it and you shook me all night long.”_

Although it was obvious that his voice had long ago been scarred with whiskey and cigarettes, Daryl sounded surprisingly good when he sang – good enough to make the corners of my mouth curl into a tiny grin. I propped my elbow onto the plastic beneath the window and cupped my chin on my hands once more, hiding my mouth with my fingers. Too late – he had seen me.

“You're laughin' at me,” he said matter-of-factually. He didn't sound mad, though, so I turned to him with an appalled expression on my face. 

“I am not,” I told him, feigning a tone of shock. “I would never laugh at you.”

Daryl stopped singing at that point. After five minutes of silence between us, I reached over and turned up the music. He caught his sideways glance and returned it with a lopsided smile. Eventually, his fingers began to strum on the steering wheel until words came from his mouth again. 

_“You know, when she move like sin and when she let me in, it's like liquid love. No doubt about it; can't live without it.”_

o-o-o

“We're lost.”

“We ain't lost.”

“Then where are we?”

“Somewhere near Macon, I think.”

“You think?”

“We ain't lost, Harper.”

I groaned and ran a hand over my tired face. We should've been in Macon by now, at least. Daryl was so insistent that he knew where he was going that every time I pointed out a traffic sign or asked aloud if we should've taken that last left, he threatened to light another cigarette, roll up the windows, and lock them. Hunger was beginning to become a problem as well. Before we left the prison, Carol had fed us with what little food we had left. Glenn and Michonne had agreed to lead another run while we were away, hoping that food would turn up somewhere. 

Lifting my head, my heart jolted in hope. “There, there!” I yelled, nearly flinging my body at Daryl to catch the wheel in my hands. 

“Goddamn, girl, calm the hell down!” he shouted back, pushing me back into my own seat. 

“That's it!” I told him excitedly, frantically pointing to a sign that read “MacManus Ranch” in letters that were once white. Now, the paint had been worn and chipped so much that it was hardly legible. “That's the ranch!”

Daryl turned onto the familiar dirt road, creating a cloud of dust behind us. I rolled down my window, expecting the breathe in the scent of cow manure and freshly cut grass. The odor of rotting flesh that I always thought I was getting used to entered my nose. I immediately covered my face with my hand, hurrying to roll the window back up. I definitely was not used to it. 

“Smell like home?” Daryl asked mockingly, a smug smirk playing on his lips. 

“As much a home as any, I guess,” I answered, squinting hard to focus on the two-story house that seemed to be rapidly approaching us. My eyes kept wandering to the speedometer of the car. Daryl was driving well over sixty miles per hour, but it felt as if we were only going twenty. “Is there any way you can go faster?”

“If you want me to blow out the engine, sure,” he replied. “This thing ain't top-notch anymore.”

I was too thrilled and nervous to sit still while we approached the house. I fidgeted around in my seat to see any of the cows that Adeline and I used to poke with sticks and throw rocks at, but the fields contained only dried, dead grass and broken fences. Fear began to sink in. What if my family no longer lived here? Or lived at all? 

“Before we go into this,” Daryl warned, “just remember that this was a long shot to begin with.”

I wasn't really listening because as he spoke, the front door to the house opened. The car came to a slow halt as an old man I hardly recognized emerged from the door, a shotgun in his hands. He lifted the barrel toward the car and, despite Daryl's deep hisses for me to stay seated, I opened the door and stepped out, my hands high over my head. 

“It's me!” I called out. “It's Harper! It's me, Uncle Robert!” 

The gun didn't lower, sending my heart racing. “Tell the man to step out of the car with his hands up!” my uncle demanded. “Or I'll shoot you where you stand!”

I hurried to reach down and open my door. “Daryl, get out of the car with your hands up or he's going to shoot,” I ordered. Daryl inhaled to protest, but I cut him short. “Just please trust me and do what I say.”

Luckily, he did what I told him to do without so much as an irritated sigh. We faced my uncle on both sides of the car, hands raised high. The gun still didn't waver, even when my aunt joined my uncle on the porch. I was too scared to be relieved that they were alive. 

“We're going to search you,” my aunt, still as plump and joyous looking as I remembered, informed us. “Try anything and my husband will kill you.”

It was so hard to believe that this woman was the same one who kissed my scraped knees when I tripped in the dirt and who always complimented my hair as she gracefully pulled it into french braids. As she pressed her hands against my body, trying to find anything dangerous, I realized that she'd changed. She refused to smile, everything that had once been gentle about her no longer existed, and even her hands were rough against me. I found myself wincing in pain as she slapped her palms against my thighs. Finally, she finished with me and moved onto Daryl. I watched her carefully all the while keeping my hands in the air. He was obviously uncomfortable with being basically fondled by a woman he didn't know; he closed his eyes tightly, biting down hard on his bottom lip. From his back pocket, my aunt pulled out a small switchblade. 

“I'll be taking this,” she told him sternly, slipping it into her own pocket. “What's in the car?”

“Just some clothes, a crossbow, and a few guns, Aunt Michelle,” I replied honestly. Daryl shot me a cold glare. “She's obviously going to search the car anyway. She'll find them.”

And she did. As she fished around in the back of the car, my arms grew tired. I wanted to drop them to my sides, but I didn't want to take the chance of receiving a bullet through my brain. After what seemed like hours, my aunt nodded toward my uncle. “Drop the gun, Robert,” she told him. “It really is Harper.”

The second my uncle lowered the gun, the front door swung open once more. A tiny body shot out from the house, heading straight for me. Tears welled in my eyes as I took a knee, watching the mess of midnight black hair sprint as fast as his legs could carry him. “Finnegan,” I whispered hoarsely, blinking away my clouded vision as my arms wrapped tightly around the child. His small hands gripped at my shirt as his blue eyes scanned my face. 

“Took you long enough!” he scolded, a wide grin growing on his freckled face. “You missed my birthday! You owe me five birthday kisses!”

So I kissed his forehead five times between a fit of hysterical laughter.

o-o-o

“I'm sorry about threatening your life, Harper,” Uncle Robert murmured as he led Daryl and I upstairs. “It's just that, you know, you can't be too careful anymore. Honestly, your aunt and I didn't expect to see you ever again.”

I glanced back at Daryl, who occasionally paused to look at the pictures that littered the walls. Deep down, I hoped that he wouldn't recognize the younger me in some of them. Until the age of eight, I had a nice gap smack dab in the middle of my front row of teeth, thanks to Adeline. It wasn't a problem now, but the memories of the neighborhood kids teasing me still popped up in my mind from time to time. 

“Yeah, well, I was hoping you'd be here,” I told my uncle. “I was also hoping that Adeline would've made her way here.”

“Haven't seen her since the last time the rest of you came to visit. How long has it been now? Two, three years?”

He opened the door to the guest room that I knew all too well. Adeline and I shared it nearly every summer as we were growing up. Now, instead of two twin beds on either side of the room, a queen-sized bed sat proudly in the middle, decorated with a quilt that my aunt probably made herself. The room itself was rather plain; there was only one window which seemed to be locked tight, a dresser sat against the wall just underneath a mirror, two pictures of faraway places hung above the bed, and the old rocking chair I used to sing to Finnegan in sat abandoned in the corner. 

“You two don't mind sharing a bed, right?” my uncle asked. “Speaking of which, Harper, why haven't you introduced us?” He jutted his chin toward Daryl, who stared at the bed longingly. It definitely was a step up from the beds back at the prison. 

“Oh, sorry,” I mumbled. “Daryl, this is Uncle Robert. Uncle Robert, this is my friend, Daryl.”

As the two awkwardly shook hands, my uncle gave me a strange look. “Friends?” he repeated. “I thought you'd finally gotten a boyfriend. Oh well, maybe someday.”

A heavy blush heated my face as my mouth dropped. Before I had the chance to say anything in my defense, Finnegan ran in and headed for Daryl this time. He pulled on the older man's hand forcefully, smiling as he received a curious stare. Daryl dropped to one knee just as I had before and asked, “What's up, little man?”

Finnegan cupped his hand around his mouth, pressing it to Daryl's ear as he turned his head. “Are you Harper's boyfriend?” he whispered loud enough for the entire world to hear. 

“Okay, Finn,” I said quickly, pulling him from Daryl. “That's enough. Why don't you go see if Aunt Michelle needs help cooking?” 

The kid gave me a sly smirk before looking at back to Daryl. “I hope that you are her boyfriend because I like you and Harper has never had a boyfriend,” he said, then giggled as he ran from the room. 

I pinched the bridge of my nose, exhaling slowly as Daryl chuckled to himself. Uncle Robert gave an amused shake of his head and told us, “I'll let you two get settled in. Dinner will be in an hour.” Without another word, he turned and left, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“Sorry about Finn,” I said, placing my backpack on the bed. “I think that kid eats sugar for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He doesn't really have a filter yet.”

“He's still a kid,” Daryl replied as he set his crossbow on the rocking chair. “Ain't nothin' you can do to help it.”

“I guess not.”

I moved toward the mirror, inspecting myself. Since the showers started working at the prison, dirt rarely stuck on my body for more than a day and a half. My hair no longer felt like I'd poured bacon grease on my head. Even the dirt that had been caked underneath my nails for months was completely gone. Being clean improved my mood tenfold, just the way that eating did for some people. 

“Where's the bathroom?” Daryl asked suddenly. “I gotta piss.”

I pointed to the left. “Down the hall. It's the last door, next to the fake plant.”

Once he was gone, I laid back on the bed and allowed my eyes to close. This bed was definitely not like the ones back at the prison. I was grateful for them, but sometimes it felt as if I was sleeping on a wooden board. There wasn't much mattress to it. I'd piled blankets and sweaters together, trying to make something out of nothing, but it wasn't the same. This bed, however, felt like a cloud. Before I knew it, my eyes snapped open and I sat up, realizing that Daryl had fallen asleep next to me. He laid back, his left arm tucked underneath his head. Dark hair covered his eyes as a soft snore escaped his parted lips. His shirt had ridden up just enough to expose a small part of his stomach. My eyes traced his figure until I decided to press my hand against his shoulder. 

“Daryl, wake up,” I whispered. “I think the food is ready.”

He groaned softly as his eyelids fluttered open. Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah,” he replied, his voice heavy with sleep. “Okay.”

We headed downstairs just in time for my aunt to place what looked like some sort of meat and pasta dish in the center of the wooden dining table. Uncle Robert smiled at us as we took two seats next to each other. “Was just about to go get you two,” he told us. His eyes flashed to Daryl. “I hope you like capicola. My wife cooks up some mean Italian food.” 

Finnegan appeared then, climbing onto a chair next to Daryl. “Hi,” he greeted him. “How old are you?”

Daryl's eyes flickered to me for a moment before returning to the boy at his side. “Thirty-five,” he answered. “How old are you?”

“I just turned five a month ago! That's a long time, huh? Isn't it a long time?”

“That's a really long time.”

I watched the two converse, feeling like I was an audience member at some sort of Q&A. Finnegan had always been curious about everything. The last time I'd seen him, he had just turned three and started to talk. Every word out of his mouth formed a question and that hadn't changed since I'd been gone. In the five minutes that Finnegan talked, I found out more about Daryl that I had in the two months that I'd known him: he'd never been out of Georgia before, his favorite color was green, he had always wanted a dog but never got one, and that he had learned to drive a motorcycle when he was sixteen, thanks to Merle. 

Dinner was eaten in silence, which was okay with me. Aunt Michelle had always been an amazing cook, but her skills seemed to have advanced since I saw her last. At first, I had been worried that Daryl wouldn't like it; he sometimes preferred raw, hunted meat over actual meals back at the prison. When my eyes trailed over to him and I saw him wolfing down his food, I figured he enjoyed it enough. And when he asked for seconds, my worries disappeared completely. 

“Finn, why don't you go take a bath and get ready for bed?” Uncle Robert suggested when Finn finished his food. “I'll be up when you're done to read to you.”

“Can Daryl read to me tonight?” Finnegan asked, staring up at the archer with wide, pleading eyes. 

Daryl chuckled, swallowing his mouthful of food before answering, “Sure, little man. I'll read to you.”

Trembling with excitement, the young boy launched himself from his chair. We waited until his footfalls stopped, followed by the slamming of the bathroom door, to speak again. “What happened to Adeline?” Aunt Michelle asked bluntly. 

I explained what had happened leading up to the attack on the prison. While I talked, my aunt and uncle listened intently as if I was some kind of royalty giving a speech. Then, my uncle asked about my parents. When I finished telling them, Aunt Michelle excused herself to retreat to the back of the kitchen to wipe at her tear-streaked face. Guilt racked inside of me. The last thing I wanted to do was make her cry. 

“I see,” Uncle Robert said, nodding slowly. “You thought Adeline would've turned up here.”

“That's what we were hoping for. I also wanted to see if you all were still...you know, alive.”

My uncle's eyes drifted upward toward the direction of the bathroom. “We're trying, for him,” he answered. “The poor kid asked about his mother the other day. He's getting smarter all the time, so I'm running out of excuses.”

I pursed my lips together. My cousin, Audrey, was in a hit-and-run accident when Finnegan was a year old. She died on impact, but he survived from the backseat with only a few scrapes and bruises. Unfortunately, his asshole of a father left before he was even born, so my aunt and uncle took on full custody of him. Thanks to a mother at the daycare that Finnegan attended, he had found out that his mother wasn't ever coming back for him.

“That brings me to a favor that I need to ask of you,” my uncle continued, leaning closer to me, his hands clasped tightly on top of the table. “When you two leave, I need you to take Finn with you.”


	34. These Scars

Finnegan's bedroom was more or less a typical five-year-old boy's room. The walls had been painted blue, models of airplanes that he would probably never see in real life hung from the ceiling, and action figures littered the floor. His small body lie curled up in his bed, covered by blankets with different makes of cars on them. Daryl sat against the mattress, _Where The Wild Things Are_ by Maurice Sendak folded open in his hands. 

I leaned against the door frame, watching as Daryl read to the boy. As his lips formed the words on the pages, Finnegan inched closer and closer until finally, his cheek rested on the archer's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind; his eyes didn't waver from the book. Maybe he just enjoyed it so much that he didn't notice the tiny body leaning against his?

My uncle's request rang loud in my ears. He wanted us to take Finnegan with us when we left. Of course, it wouldn't be a problem – there were so many kids back at the prison that he would make friends in no time. That wasn't my concern. My concern was that my aunt and uncle refused to come with us. When I had asked why, Uncle Robert shook his head and replied, “This farm has been in my family since before my great-grandfather's time. It isn't much anymore, but who's to say that I can't fix it up to what it used to be?” 

“I have nothin' but praise now for my life,” Daryl read, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot 'cause I miss people. They die and I can't stop 'em. They leave me and I love 'em more. What I dread is the isolation. There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.”

I turned and left the two alone before they realized that I had been spying on them and headed for the room that Daryl and I were sharing. Sitting on the bed, I leaned over and rubbed my face with my palms. I didn't want to leave my aunt and uncle here, but they were both stubborn people – there was no way I was going to convince them to leave with us. Their main priority seemed to be getting Finnegan out of here. The second I told them about our life at the prison, they were more than ecstatic to build up hopes that he could live there with us. 

“Harper,” my uncle said softly, cracking the door open. Daryl was at his side; Finnegan must've fallen asleep. “We do have working showers with warm water, but it only lasts for about ten minutes or so.” He glanced at Daryl awkwardly. “I know you two are just friends, but would you mind sharing a shower? I normally would never ask this of either of you, but water here is precious.”

Daryl and I met each other's panicked stare as my heartbeat began to speed up. “It's fine,” Daryl answered before I had the chance to. Uncle Robert nodded apologetically and retired to the front porch, shotgun readied to fire in his hands. It seemed that he and my aunt took turns keeping watch outside. 

“It's not fine,” I hissed sharply to Daryl. “Go ahead and shower. I can do it when we get back to the prison tomorrow.”

Giving a nonchalant shrug, he replied, “It ain't a big deal. I promise not to look at your tits as long as you promise not to look at my dick.” He said this with so much sincerity in his voice that I couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. 

I stood from the bed and fished around in my backpack for fresh clothes. “Okay, fine,” I mumbled in a defeated tone. As we made our way toward the bathroom, being extra quiet near Finnegan's room, I couldn't help but feel painfully nervous. It wasn't that I was about to be naked in front of Daryl Dixon. For some reason, I wasn't even the least bit worried about that. It was the fact that for the first time in my life, I would see another man naked, but of course, I would never admit that to him. 

The bathroom wasn't anything special. Other than the fact that my aunt had decorated it with anything that had a frog printed on it years ago, there was nothing notable about it. As we walked in and closed the door behind us, I grabbed the flashlight on the corner of the counter and flicked it on, positioning it in a way that would reflect most of the room through the mirror. Closing my eyes for a moment, I inhaled deeply, trying to pull myself together. 

This was nothing, I told myself. Just taking a shower, just a casual shower, with Daryl. As much as I tried to convince myself that this was what the end of the world turned us into, that this was considered a normal thing now, I couldn't rid myself of the nervousness spreading throughout my body. 

“I have an idea,” Daryl whispered. He sounded just as timid as I was. “We face away from each other the entire time.”

“We can try it.”

With trembling hands, I faced the mirror and stripped myself of everything I wore. This was the first time I'd seen myself completely naked; the mirrors back at the prison had all been shattered beyond repair. The only ones we had were the small hand-held ones we found on runs. I had obviously lost a lot of weight, tiny cuts and scars were now apparent in random spots on my skin, and a large, ugly bruise had formed on my right thigh. I grimaced at myself, but all my thoughts of my own body shattered when Daryl moved behind me and my eyes locked on his back through the mirror. 

Scars ripped away at his skin underneath a few tattoos that I imagined had been for the purpose of covering them up. It didn't work, because my eyes traced every single one while everything around me felt as if it was frozen in time. Among the long fissures of scar tissue, burns had been etched into his back, creating the perfect form of the top metal of lighters. My stomach churned, but not with disgust. I suddenly felt so incredibly angry that someone could cause another person harm like this.

My tore my gaze away when Daryl moved toward the bathtub. I listened for the running water and then his gruff voice. “Okay, its hot,” he informed me before stepping into the shower. I followed him, my legs feeling they were made of jelly rather than muscle and bones. 

Making it a point not to look at him, I reached for the soap bar that rested on the tiny plastic ledge. So many things raced through my mind as I ran the soap on my skin that I couldn't focus on just one. I wanted to turn and wrap my arms around him and cry on his scars, but then again, I also wanted to demand to know who did it to him, drive to their front door, and bash their skulls in with the butt of my gun. I was stretched so thin between two different longings that when Daryl brushed past me to give me access to the water, my body jolted in surprise. As he moved, I noticed he was trying to keep his back from me. He would rather expose his manhood than show me his past. 

I placed my head under the running water, massaging my fingers through my hair the best I could. I watched Daryl from the corner of my eye. He lifted his gaze up toward the ceiling, refusing to bring it down to my body. He may be an asshole at times, but he was respectful of the privacy of others, even when we were stuffed into a small shower together. After rinsing the soap from my skin, I nodded to him and we started to switch places once more. 

For a split second, he had turned his back to me. Without thinking, my hands moved on their own. My fingers grazed one of the longest scars and he immediately turned from me, shrinking in the corner like a scared animal. “Don't,” he ordered in a low voice. “Don't even look at 'em.”

“Was it Merle?” I questioned, trying not to give away that I was a little hurt at his words. 

“No,” he answered. He obviously didn't want to talk about it anymore; he pushed his face under the water, which was starting to lessen in pressure, and ran his hands over his face a few times, paying extra attention to his facial hair. I'd never seen a man wash himself before, but I found this fascinating. The way his hands played on his neck, his chest, and his stomach was almost like a foreign dance. Before I could catch myself staring, he noticed. “Want an autograph or somethin'?” 

Completely embarrassed, I shook my head and turned away from him. “I think our ten minutes are up,” I said just in time for the water to turn into droplets falling from the shower head. Daryl sighed heavily and sideways shimmied from the shower, making sure I couldn't even so much as take a peek at his back. “Who was it?” I inquired as I stepped out of the tub. Being naked in front of him no longer made me feel uncomfortable; I was too focused on the scars. 

Daryl didn't answer at first. He took his time drying his skin with the towel, all the while keeping his back against the wall. Then, he pursed his lips together and threw the towel toward me. “My old man had a habit of gettin' drunk and when Merle was off locked up somewhere or hangin' out at bars, I was the one he took his anger out on.”

My mouth trembled with words that I couldn't find to say as I wrapped the towel around myself. I tried to imagine a smaller, much more innocent version of Daryl being beaten by his father's fists and burned with lighters for amusement. Goosebumps arose on my arms and legs. I didn't want to believe that parents actually did that to their children. Growing up, I always figured that everyone else had the same life of luxury that I did. Then again, I was quite possibly one of the most sheltered people you'd ever meet. Hell, I'd never even had a boyfriend before. 

“Merle didn't even know,” Daryl continued, running his hands through his soaking wet hair. “Not 'til I left the group with him. I think he did know – he just didn't wanna believe it. He'd feel too guilty or some bullshit. He fuckin' knew. That's why he was always runnin' off, gettin' in trouble. One day, Merle just didn't come home, so it was always me.”

“Didn't your mom ever try to stop him?” I questioned, my voice sounding small. 

“Maybe she would've if she was alive,” he snapped, narrowing his eyes at me through the mirror. “But then again, probably not. She would've been too drunk or some shit. She couldn't even tell me and Merle apart half the damn time.”

My heart ached so badly for him. I remembered those comments I'd made to him before, taking immature and ignorant jabs at him about his father. If only I'd known... “I'm so sorry, Daryl,” I told him. “God, I just...I'm sorry.”

He shrugged, bending over to grab at a shirt. “Shit makes you stronger,” he replied. “That's what Merle always told me.”

What happened next seemed to progress in slow motion, like I was on some sort of drug. Daryl stood straight and just before he pulled the shirt over his head to hide his back, I stepped closer, pressing my fingers against his scars once more. Instead of yanking himself from me, he only watched me cautiously through the mirror. I could feel the muscles underneath his skin tighten as I traced them like a blind man would read braille. 

Even through the physical manifestation of his childhood abuse, Daryl Dixon was so beautiful. 

“Harper,” he breathed the second I pressed my lips to the most prominent burn scar. When he took a step away from me, I figured it was because I pushed boundaries, but before I could mutter out a half-hearted apology, he turned and faced me for only a short moment. Then, his lips were against mine and this time, I was sure that he was willingly doing it. 

When I was fourteen, I had my very first kiss. It was with one of Adeline's friends, who sneaked into her bedroom at midnight. She'd called me to come join them for a game of spin-the-bottle, which I thought was stupid, but I did it anyway because my sister kept calling me a scared baby and I didn't want that reputation anymore. So, when I spun the bottle and it pointed toward her friend, I apprehensively leaned in and pressed my lips to his. Whenever I thought back on it, I pictured kissing a plastic fish.

But Daryl, my God, he was something else. Our previous kisses paled in comparison to this one. His hands trailed down my sides, coming to a stop as he pulled my waist into him. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing the towel to fall limp between us. His lips, so much softer than I remembered from before, parted from mine for only a second to let out a sigh before crashing back into place. My fingers trailed up, lacing between his damp hair as I pulled him in closer. The sensation of another person's body – _naked_ body – pressed so close against me was new; I didn't entirely know how to handle it. 

Daryl's lips left mine once more, leaving me craving them, and pressed against my neck. I tilted my head to the side, inhaling the clean, fresh scent of his hair as it passed my face. Tickling nibbles against my skin forced a laugh from my mouth. “Shh,” he breathed, bringing his face upward to press his nose against mine. We stared at each other, cross-eyed and drunk on kisses, our bodies trembling against each other. From downstairs, I heard Uncle Robert let out a smoke-filled cough. 

“We should get back to the bedroom,” I suggested in a rushed whisper. Daryl nodded in agreement. We hurried to throw our clothes back on before heading back, closing the doors as quietly as possible. The longer I went without him against me, though, the more my nervousness came back. “Okay, look,” I said as I locked the bedroom door, “I've never...you know...had sex before.”

Daryl watched me, seemingly bewildered. “You think I have?” he responded. 

“Um, yeah,” I replied honestly. “Wait, you haven't? You're serious?” 

He avoided my surprised stare and nodded. “Ain't never let anyone get close enough, I guess,” he admitted as if he was ashamed of it. “I had a girl once and she tried...and I just, I don't know. I left.”

Carol's words drifted into my mind. _“You probably just scared him, is all.”_ I'd known that Daryl wasn't an affectionate person, that he enjoyed his own company rather than being around other people most of the time, but I didn't realize that it was this extreme. 

I took a step closer to him, smiling when he lifted his gaze to my face. “It's okay,” I told him. “We don't have to.”

Daryl shook his head, curling his hands around my waist once more as his lips formed around mine. We soon found ourselves on the bed, heartbeats racing and fingers intertwined.

o-o-o

As much as I knew I should've at least tried to fall asleep, I put it off for as long as I could. Next to me, Daryl slept peacefully for once without muttering his brother's name or twitching sporadically throughout the night. Since we left the prison, I felt as if he had changed into a completely different person. Before we left, he avoided me almost completely, but now, even after we had finished, it was like he was afraid to stop kissing or touching me.

I turned my head and watched his side move in rhythm of his breathing. Rolling over to face his back, I curled my arm underneath my head and pressed my fingertips to his scars again, just barely touching him as to not wake him up. I glanced at the window, wondering how much time I had left to lie here next to him before we had to leave. The thought only brought my mood down, so brought my head closer to him, kissing his shoulder. 

Daryl stirred and rolled onto back, still dead to the world. Unconsciously, his arm curled around me, bringing me into him. I grinned to myself and rested my head on his chest, finally falling asleep to the deep thumping below my ear.


	35. I Spy

“I spy with my little eye something green,” Finnegan said, tapping his tiny fingers on the window of the back seat of the car. “Oh, and a little brown.”

From behind the wheel, Daryl strummed his fingers on his left hand on the wheel while the fingers on his right gently grazed my knuckles. Every time he touched my skin, even just the slightest, it felt as if a rush of electricity surged through my body. This was so new; having someone who reached out and grabbed my hand without me asking or just feeling an overwhelming sense of happiness whenever they were around. If you were to ask me two days ago if Daryl was the kind of person who liked the playful nudges when others were around, I would've laughed in your face. But now, I felt as if he was an entirely different, more affectionate person. 

“Trees,” Daryl guessed, his eyes darting from the road, to the foliage around us, then back to the road. “Or dirt, I guess. Or dead grass.”

“You only get one try!” Finnegan shouted. “And you missed on the first one! Harper, you try!”

I dragged my gaze around at the outside of the car as we whizzed past wandering walkers. “That broken car we just passed?” I said, lifting my thumb over my shoulder. 

“Nope! You're both wrong! I spy zombies!”

Finnegan's response to the walkers baffled both Daryl and I. We both expected him to be terrified of them, but it was actually quite the opposite – he was fascinated and curious. Just before we left the farm, he'd asked my aunt and uncle to call him if they ever needed to fight off the “ugly dead people.” Then, he'd waved a stick around in the air threateningly and crawled into the back of the car, singing a song he had made up on his own about stabbing walkers through the head until they're all dead, dead, dead. 

“Okay, your turn,” Finnegan announced, leaning forward to pat Daryl on the shoulder. 

“I spy with my little eye,” the archer drawled on, obviously tired of this game we'd been playing since we left, “something yellow.”

While they fell into the game, my mind drifted back ten miles and lingered with my aunt and uncle. Even though I knew there was no changing their minds, part of me wanted to turn around so I could beg them to come with. My chest ached at the thought that I'd left them behind, but the both of them just seemed happy to have Finnegan heading to somewhere safe. Just before we drove down the dirt road from the farm, Uncle Robert had led Daryl and I into his basement, revealing what he scolded Adeline and I over when we'd gotten too close to the wooden door when we were younger: shelves and bags and crates of nonperishable food, blankets, and enough dry matches to last us months. Without hesitation, he ordered us to grab as much as we could carry and pile it into the back of the car until we could barely close the door. 

“Aw, c'mon! Just tell me!”

“No way! You have to guess like I did!”

Uncle Robert and Aunt Michelle's smiling faces as they waved us goodbye somewhat haunted me. I didn't give it a second thought then, but now I was beginning to realize that I may never see them again. I nibbled on my bottom lip, trying to resist the urge to ask Daryl to turn around. I had to try to convince them again. 

Finnegan let out a groan of distress and annoyance, obviously not guessing right whatever yellow thing Daryl was seeing. “Is it, um,” the boy mumbled, then leaned forward to lace his tiny fingers through my hair, “Harper's hair?”

Daryl, who propped his elbow just below the window to cover his small smirk with his hand, glanced back in the rear view mirror the second I whipped my head to the side to look at him. “Mmhm,” he murmured through his fingers. Finnegan erupted into a fit of cheering while I folded my hands in my lap, trying to hide the heavy blush creeping onto my face. 

After half an hour of driving, Finnegan eventually found a comfortable position to sleep in. Soft snores sounded from the backseat while Daryl and I sat in silence. Then, barely keeping an eye on the road, Daryl reached behind his seat toward the floor, pulling out another CD that I'd never seen before. “Your uncle gave it to me,” he explained when he saw the confused look I gave him. “Said I look like the kind of guy who likes it.” He didn't give me a chance to inspect the case before popping it into the player, making sure the volume was low enough to not wake the child in the back.

_“Hello, I've waited here for you, everlong.”_

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “Uncle Robert was obsessed with this band for three solid years. I've heard this song at least a million times,” I complained. Before I knew it though, my lips were following along with the song. 

“Its okay,” Daryl admitted halfheartedly. 

_“And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever be this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again.”_

“Hey, Daryl?”

“Hm?”

“What was the agreement that you had with Griffin?”

Daryl sighed and licked his bottom lip before even thinking about answering me. “He came up to me an hour 'fore we left and said he wanted to go with you,” he told me. “Said he could protect you better than I could. I said okay, but changed my mind at the last minute.”

“Why did you change your mind?”

He shrugged. “The kid pisses me off , 'specially when he's 'round you. Somethin' 'bout 'im just irks me.”

I wished I knew what to say, but I was only aware of this rivalry between the two to a certain point. Until now, I just thought it was some kind of male dominance thing. I didn't realize that I was the cause of it all. “Oh,” I mumbled, trying my hardest to sound guilty. I knew I should have, but I didn't feel that way at all. In fact, it was a little flattering. “Well, Daryl, for what it is, you really have no competition against him.”

Daryl didn't say anything else. I just figured he was too focused on trying to avoid hitting walkers and remembering how to get back to the prison before nightfall. As I glanced back at Finnegan curled up against the door behind Daryl, I tried to imagine that the world was normal again. Maybe this could have been us, driving to the coast so Finnegan could drip his feet in ocean water for the first time, and Daryl and I hand-in-hand the entire way. It was a calming thought, but I didn't allow myself to fall into it too deeply. Without realizing it, I'd let out a heavy sigh as I reminded myself that the world will probably never be like that again. Daryl's hand gently squeezed mine.

o-o-o

“Whoa, it's like a castle!” Finnegan exclaimed as we pulled toward the gates of the prison. Maggie, Glenn, Tyreese, and Sasha hurried to yank them open for us. “Does this mean that you're a queen, Harper? An-And are you a king, Daryl?! Can I be a prince?!”

The small body behind us flung himself from side of the car to the other, pressing his nose against the window and creating clouds of condensation with his staccato breathing. Daryl turned his head, trying his hardest to hide the smirk of amusement. “Calm down, buddy,” he told him. “We ain't even pulled in all the way.” Finnegan plopped himself against the seat in a pout, crossing his arms over his chest and tucking his chin in. Then, Daryl added, “The inside is bigger.” This sent the child into another frenzy of excited spasms. 

Rick met us near the courtyard when Daryl turned the car off. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace the second I stepped out and said, “Glad you two made it back safe. Did you find what you were looking for?” 

“Yes and no,” I replied, watching as the two men wrapped their hands around each other and patted each other's backs. “My aunt and uncle refused to leave, but they sent my second cousin with us.” Rick gave me a warning stare, as if telling me that I should know better than to bring in people without asking the others first. “He's five,” I added quickly. He nodded in understanding, as I knew he would. After all, he was a father. 

Knowing that I was talking about him, Finnegan nearly kicked the door open and launched himself from the car. “Hi!” he shouted, standing straight and holding his hand out to Rick. Daryl and I stood by idly, watching the two interact. “My name is Finnegan Arden MacManus, but you can just call me Finn because all my friends say my full name is too hard.”

A warm smile spread across Rick's face as wrapped his giant hand around Finnegan's. “Its very nice to meet you, Finn. My name is Rick Grimes.”

o-o-o

When Daryl, Rick, and I brought in the supplies that were given to us, our four chefs, Carol, Hershel, and Sasha nearly broke out into tears. With random fits of laughter here and there, they stuffed food into the shelves, distributed the blankets to everyone in the prison, and stored away the matches in a place where they would stay dry and accessible to anyone who needed them.

“The next time you see your family,” Hershel said after a tight hug, “tell them we said thank you from the bottom of our hearts.”

I smiled because that was the only thing I could do. Hershel knew it just as well as I did that there was a one in a billion chance of me ever seeing my family again. I couldn't make that drive often and if they continued to survive, there was no way that would leave that farm for even a minute to come to the prison. Still, it was kind of him to try to keep my spirits high.

Finnegan instantly fit in with the other kids his age. Mika in particular took a liking to him, although she was too shy to actually say anything to him. As he chatted with the other kids in the library, I leaned against the door frame and watched. He was more than friendly with all of them as he introduced himself the same way he did to Rick. 

“Seems like he's pretty popular,” a voice commented from behind me. My body jolted in surprise and whipped around to face Griffin. From the deadpan expression on his face, I couldn't tell what kind of mood he was in. “It was nice of you to come say hi when you got back.” His voice dripped with bitter sarcasm. Obviously, he wasn't happy. 

“Sorry,” I replied halfheartedly. “I was busy just trying to get Finn settled in and putting everything away.”

Griffin avoided my gaze as he shrugged. “He looks like he's doing fine on his own,” he spat. 

Something about the way he stood gave away that he was legitimately angry with me: he crossed his arms over his chest in a barrier-like way, his eyes narrowed into a glare, and his tight jaw was more than apparent. “You're actually pissed off at me,” I pointed out, speaking low enough that the children behind me couldn't hear. 

“Wow, you are a smart one, aren't you?” he hissed. “Tell me, which college did you go to? Harvard? Yale?”

My mouth dropped open at his words. This wasn't like Griffin. He was never so hostile toward me. “What's your problem, Griff?” I demanded to know. “Just because I didn't say hi to you the second I got back? That's a little immature, don't you think?”

Griffin rolled his eyes and chuckled sardonically. “I'm immature? Okay, Harper, if that's how you feel. But you know what's a little fucked up? You leading me on the entire time you've been involved with Daryl.”

In all honestly, I wasn't even sure how to properly respond to that. So instead of forming actual words, I just stared at him, my mouth open, until a tiny squeak escaped from my throat. “Leading you on?” I repeated in disbelief. “I didn't even know you had a thing for me until Daryl told me yesterday!” 

From the corner of my eye, I saw Carl glance over at us, his interest in our conversation growing. I grabbed Griffin's arm and dragged him into the hallway, fighting against his struggles the entire way. “Oh, really? I didn't make it obvious enough?” he asked in a mocking tone. 

Arguing with Griffin was absolutely exhausting, I soon found out. “No, Griff,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “You didn't.”

Griffin opened his mouth to retaliate, but another voice from behind him cut him off. “The hell's goin' on here?” Daryl demanded to know as he approached us, holding his crossbow over his back with his pointer and middle finger. His eyes met Griffin's in a glower, then softened when they moved toward my figure. 

“It doesn't concern you,” Griffin barked. “Piss off.”

“Stop it, Griff,” I ordered harshly, but he didn't hear me. 

Daryl moved toward the younger man slowly, like a tiger getting ready to attack its prey. “The fuck did you just say to me?” he growled, staring down into Griffin's persistent emerald eyes. I buried my face into my hands, groaning quietly. 

“Piss _off_ ,” Griffin repeated slowly. His eyes met mine for a moment before he turned and stomped down the hallway. “Both of you.”

o-o-o

As everyone gathered in the common area to eat, I watched as Finnegan made his rounds to the adults. I couldn't help but smile to myself when I realized that everyone was enjoying having him around. He was always full of energy and only stopped moving when he was eating or sleeping. Beth, Maggie, and Carol giggled as he made faces at them or told them about the fact that he always got into trouble at his old school because he couldn't stop playing tricks on people. Mika continued to shy away from him whenever he bounced too close to her. Daryl seemed to be his main point of interest, though, because he constantly asked me to scoot over so he could sit next to the archer.

“Could you teach me to shoot your bow tomorrow?” Finnegan questioned him with a mouthful of rice. 

“Finn, swallow your food before talking,” I scolded, smoothing out a cluster of his hair that stuck out obnoxiously. 

While Daryl made up some excuse to only teach Finnegan when he was older, I peeked sideways at Griffin, who sat against the wall in my usual spot. He didn't have a plate in his hands; instead he sat with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were locked on Daryl's figure, but broke away when Reanna approached him. She sat next to him and they fell into their own whispered conversation. Every so often, they would look at us. I came to the conclusion that she must've been the reason why Griffin knew about what Daryl and I had. 

Everyone dispersed after an hour or so. I stayed behind to help Carol, Beth, and a few of the others clean up. Finnegan ran up to my cell, kicked off his shoes, and fell asleep on my bed within minutes. Griffin and Reanna escaped to who knows where together, but I didn't ask any questions. If they were an item, it would take the stress off me. 

Daryl re-entered the common area at some point during the time that I was cleaning the dishes. Only when I felt his chest against my back did I realize that everyone else had left to their cells. “Forget 'im,” he breathed in my ear, causing a shiver throughout my body. “He's just a dumb kid.”

I put the plate into the makeshift sink and turned to face him. “I'm not mad anymore,” I told him, snaking my arms around his neck. “I think he's already moved onto Reanna anyway.”

“Good,” Daryl mumbled against my lips as I pressed into him. “I don't share.”

o-o-o

“What do you mean half the supplies are gone?!” Glenn bellowed as he practically ran into the common area. The sun had barely popped up and most of the prison was already in a frenzy.

“They just are!” Beth replied, frantically searching for the blankets. 

I stood in the middle of it all, trying to process what was going on. In the time that it took for everyone to sleep, most of the food and blankets had been stolen. Yet, everyone was present and nobody heard a peep all night. So how? How could so many things go missing?

“The fuck kind of joke is this?!” Daryl shouted, pacing around the room. His attention immediately went to Griffin as he walked down the tiny flight of stairs, yawning loudly. “Was it you, you asshole?!” Daryl growled, wrapping his fingers around Griffin's collar. 

“Get the hell off me, man!” Griffin yelled, pushing Daryl from him. “I don't even know what the fuck's going on! I've been on patrol all night!”

I leaned against the wall, trying my best to stay calm. Yes, this was bad. Yes, this was not as bad as it could have been. Yes, I didn't even know where to start with fixing it. Nobody knew where the supplies were. There were no clues. Everyone seemed to have been playing dumb. 

“There must be a hole in the fence or something,” I suggested. “An outsider must've gotten in.”

Griffin shook his head. “No way. I would have noticed.” 

His words only started more arguing between him and Daryl, who seemed thoroughly convinced that Griffin was the one who stole the supplies. It didn't make sense, though. Even if he did do it, where would he take them? Rick and Michonne were currently inspecting everyone's cells, so he couldn't hide them there. Maggie and Carol were searching the outside of the building, so any possible stashing spots were out of the question. 

“We're sending out a party,” Glenn announced, waiting for the room to fall silent before continuing. “We need to search the forest. If we don't find anything here at the prison, then it has to be out there. Any volunteers?”

My hand flew high into the air. I watched around the room as Daryl, Griffin, and Reanna did the same. I grimaced in annoyance. Griffin only volunteered because I was going, and Reanna did because Daryl was going. Knowing this was going to be an absolute shit show, I grabbed for my weapon, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and followed the three out into the surrounding forest, more then determined to find our supplies.


	36. Sisters Until The End

Surprisingly, our small, dysfunctional group worked rather well with each other when it came to fending off walkers. Daryl aimed perfectly with his cross bow, Griffin delivered his knife right in between the eyes of the dead, Reanna had a habit of tripping the walkers and stomping her boots into their skulls, and I bashed as hard as I could with the butt of my gun. It seemed that we all were avoiding talking to each other, knowing that the wrong word could cause us to explode into another argument. 

Our search was amazingly thorough; we checked nearly every tree we came across, lifted rocks, and even checked the pockets of walkers that we killed along our way. If the supplies were anywhere around, we would find them. After two hours of looking with nothing to show for it, Griffin let out a sigh of irritation. 

“We need to split up,” he suggested. “Walking around in a group like this isn't doing anything. We'll do better if we go two by two.”

“For once, I agree with 'im,” Daryl commented, lowering his crossbow in exhaustion. “How're we splintin' up?”

“Its not obvious?” Griffin snapped. “Guys with guys, girls with girls.”

Not wanting to make our situation any worse, I chewed on the inside of my cheek as I replied, “Um, that is a terrible idea. I think I should go with Daryl, and you two go together.”

“So you can go fuck somewhere in the woods while we look for supplies?” Reanna chimed in, placing her hands on her hips. “I don't think so.”

“Council members have the final say,” I pointed out, “in whatever is up for debate. The last time I checked, Daryl and I were members, not either of you.” I turned to Daryl, a cocky smirk playing on my lips. “So, Mr. Council Member, what do you suggest we do?”

“You and me,” he said, then pointed toward the other two. “Griffin and Reanna.”

Without a word, they rolled their eyes and stomped away from us. Daryl and I waited until they were out of sight to say anything, but once they were gone, he was the first to shake his head. “I know,” I mumbled, giving a small shrug. “I know.”

o-o-o

Hours passed of searching, finding absolutely nothing, saying we were going to give up, and then starting the search process all over again. Dealing with the hunger and blazing heat was painfully exhausting. My feet and ankles began to ache. Sweat dripped from my hair. I couldn't tell you how many times I lifted my shirt to wipe at my drenched face.

“We're not going to find anything,” I finally said, stopping in my tracks. “We need to get back to the prison and eat. We can try again tomorrow.”

Daryl was a little more hopeful than I was. “Nah,” he said, glancing up at the sun's position. “We still got 'bout five hours of sunlight left.”

I sighed in exasperation. “Aren't you hungry? I'm starving.” At the most perfect timing, Daryl lifted his crossbow and delivered a bolt right into a tree. I looked closer, realizing that it had pierced the chest of a squirrel, pinning it to the wood. I looked at the archer with an expression of disbelief written on my face. “I'm not eating that, not when there's real food back at the prison.”

“Suit yourself,” he grumbled, ripping his bolt from the animal and catching the carcass with his other hand. We sat down and I watched in disgust as he tore the belly of the creature open. Soon, I couldn't stand to watch it anymore and had to tear my gaze away, but suddenly, the mass of bloodied fur was presented to my face. “Tastes like chicken,” Daryl teased. 

“If you don't get that thing out of my face,” I warned, turning my nose away, “I won't hesitate to throw up in your lap.”

“You're nasty,” he mumbled through a mouthful of squirrel meat. 

My stomach grumbled loudly, but I quickly reminded myself that before we were found, Adeline and I had once gone a whole three days without anything to eat. Of course, we were so agitated and angry that we nearly killed each other, but we made it through just fine. If I could handle that, I could handle a day without food. 

The sound of a distant gunshot caused the both of us to freeze for only a short moment. Before I knew it, we were on our feet and running the fastest we could toward the noise. The half eaten squirrel was soon forgotten as Daryl wiped the blood from his face and readied to fire his crossbow at the drop of a hat. But when we found the source of the gunshot, his crossbow lowered and he turned to look at me.

“Adeline,” I whispered, staring at my sister. She stood proudly, a small handgun in her palm. About twenty feet away, Griffin's body laid crumpled in a pool of his own blood. My stomach churned at the sight of him. Adeline, on the other hand, looked perfectly okay – not a scratch on her. 

“He attacked me,” she said, holding her hands up. Daryl wasn't having it, though. In a split second, he raised his crossbow and aimed at her. My sister looked desperate. “Harper, c'mon, you have to believe me. He came at me first. I was defending myself.”

I couldn't think straight. My hands trembled at my sides as I slowly approached Griffin. His lifeless eyes were open wide in surprise. A bullet wound was placed perfectly between his eyes. Tears welled in my eyes as I knelt next to him, running my hands through his blood-crusted hair. “Griff,” I whispered. I couldn't even find it in me to be happy that Adeline was alive. It felt as if my insides had been set aflame. 

“Where was the girl that was with 'im?!” Daryl demanded to know, his crossbow not wavering an inch. 

“What are you talking about?” Adeline asked. “There was no girl! Daryl, put the damn crossbow down! You don't have to shoot me! Harper, tell him to put it down!”

I touched Griffin's forehead. “Wait,” I whispered to myself. It wasn't a bullet hole. It was a knife hole. Something wasn't making sense. Without paying Adeline any attention, I did a quick search of Griffin's clothes. “Where's your pocketknife, Griff?”

“Reanna, now!” 

I whipped around, watching as Reanna wrapped her arm around Daryl's neck from behind and held Griffin's blade to his throat with her free hand. His crossbow fell to the ground and Reanna wasted no time kicking it toward my sister, who lifted her gun toward Daryl. 

“What the fu--” I started, but Adeline turned her head to glare at me. 

“Hands up, Harper,” she ordered. “Or I'll put a bullet through his skull.”

I felt like a statue as I slowly raised my hands into the air. My entire body was rigid with shock. Daryl's angry eyes met mine before drifting over to Adeline. Griffin had never attacked her. He wasn't the kind of person who would strike first, especially against a female. This was a trap and Reanna had been in on it. 

“What's going on?” I asked Adeline, my voice shaking with fear. 

“I just wanted you safe,” she explained. Her eyes darted about rapidly. This wasn't the same woman that I'd known my entire life. “After...After I left with the Governor, I pleaded with him to come back and get you because I was so worried. He always said no, but I...I...” A frantic laugh came from her cracked lips. “I found you anyway with the help of my new friend here.” She jutted her chin toward Reanna, who was busy pressing her lips to Daryl's neck while glaring daggers at me. 

“We had an agreement,” the younger girl said against his skin. “If I gave Adeline our supplies, she'd take you off my hands. And now, I can have this one all to myself.” I cringed as I watched her dainty hand trail down to Daryl's pants, gently grabbing the area between his legs. When he began to breathe heavily and writhe away from her, she pressed the blade closer to his throat and whispered in his ear, “Shh, baby, don't do that. I don't want to have to cut your perfect skin.”

“You're fucking crazy,” I told her. “Both of you. You're both insane.”

“No, we're not,” Adeline corrected, her voice suddenly childlike. “We both just love someone very much. I love you, Harper. You're my sister. And Reanna loves Daryl more than anyone else. Why not just make this easy and come with me? That way, everyone gets what they want.”

I didn't know what to do or what to think. Adeline was mentally gone. Whatever the Governor had put her through had broken her. And Reanna...she must've cracked a long time ago. They both were so fragile that if I made even the slightest wrong move, Daryl would die. 

“Shit,” I hissed under my breath, my eyes darting from Adeline to Daryl then back to Adeline. The gun on my back suddenly felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. I wished Griffin was alive. He would back me up, I just knew he would. 

“Let's go, Harper,” Adeline told me, motioning me over to her with her head. “We're going to go somewhere safe.”

“N-No,” I told her. I watched Reanna move her lips to Daryl's jawline. He leaned away from her slowly, closing his eyes. The sound of Adeline's gun clicking tore my focus away from them. 

“You have until the count of three to get over here,” she warned, “before I put him down. One...”

My body trembling, I took a step closer to my sister. A tiny smile began to grow on her face.

“Two...”

“Okay, okay,” I said, my hands still high in the air. “I'm coming with you and we're leaving.”

“Harp--” Daryl started, but Reanna's lips crashing against his cut him off. I tried to ignore it, but caught sight of the blade falling to the ground as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her chest against his body. 

Adeline's arm snaked around my shoulders as she pulled me into her. “I knew you'd come around,” she breathed in my ear. I could hear the insane grin on her face as she spoke. 

Inhaling sharply, I curled my hand into a tight fist and slammed it into her gut. She let out a choking sound of distress and fell to her knees, her arms covering her abdomen. Reanna gasped as she pushed away from Daryl, who tripped backwards and fell onto his butt, hurrying to find her knife. Everything seemed to move in slow-motion. I grabbed for my gun, but my fingers quivered so much that once I had peered through the sights, the younger girl had already booked it into the woods and out of sight. 

Daryl began to crawl toward his crossbow, but stopped short when Adeline fired a bullet at his hand. She barely nicked his thumb, but it was enough to make him stop moving completely. I pressed the barrel of my gun to her head.

“You won't do it,” she told me through heavy, struggling breaths, aiming directly at Daryl. “You won't kill me, Harper. I'm your sister, remember?”

“Shut up,” I told her, pressing the metal hard against her skull. The tears finally fell from my eyes. “Just shut the fuck up.”

She laughed again. A terrible, shrieking, psychotic laugh. Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs as she slowly stood up, keeping an eye on Daryl. “If it weren't for me, you would've never gotten this far in life. You would've never ended up with my family. Do you realize that?”

My chest tightened in pain. “Th-They were just as much my family as they were yours,” I defended, trying to sound strong. The cracks in my voice gave me away, though. 

“Is that right?” she mocked, standing straight now, her gun still aiming at Daryl. “If it weren't for me begging my parents to adopt you, you would've ended up at an orphanage. “

“Shut up.”

“Poor little Harper. All you did was cry when you found out that your parents had been murdered.” 

“Shut up, Adeline. I was only three.”

“I gave you the life of luxury. Would you have rather stayed in that shack you called a home? You owe me, Harper.”

“I don't owe you shit.”

Adeline's eyes changed then. They were no longer wide with the craziness that ate away at her mind. For a moment, she seemed normal. “You do,” she said calmly. Her finger twitched on the trigger. “And I'll start by killing Daryl.”

The gunshot rang in my ears as my world fell black.


	37. Empty Graves

"Finn, not now, okay? Harper isn't feeling very well."

"Is she sick?"

"No, no, she's not. She'll come see you soon, okay?"

"Okay..."

I squinted hard against the sunlight as it peeked in through the blanket that covered Daryl's cell door. Beth hurried to squeeze into the cell, wrapping my world in darkness once more. I knew she meant well by holding out a wet cloth to clean my face with, but I just didn't want to see anyone except one person and she definitely wasn't him. "Do you need anything else?" she asked, forcing a smile onto her face.

"No," I managed to say. She stood to leave, but I hurried to lift my head from the pillow. "When does Rick want to have the funeral?"

Beth stopped, the blanket grasped firmly in her hand, and glanced at me through teary eyes. "Whenever you're ready."

I ran the cloth over my forehead and cheeks, trying to rid myself of any tears that lingers on my skin, but fresh ones came in no time. I gave up and sobbed into his pillow.

o-o-o

I made my way outside to find that the entire prison had been waiting for me. Nobody looked angry or irritated to have been standing in the heat for what could have been hours. Their eyes were full of pity and sorrow as I stood between Maggie and Michonne, who wrapped a tight arm around my shoulders. I stared down at the two graves we'd put together for our lost ones. Neither of them held actual bodies.

Hershel stood between the two graves, a bible in his hands. I couldn't stand to listen to his words. God was something nonexistent to me; if there truly was a higher being looking out for everyone, the dead wouldn't be groaning from the other side of our fence, trying their hardest to get in and eat us. My body and my mind felt numb as Hershel called me to him to say my peace to the two.

"I...I, um," I started, wrapping my arms around myself for protection from their stares. "I'll start with Griffin." One of the older men in the crowd let out a cough to cover his urgent sob. "Griff was...He was amazing. From the second he joined us from Woodbury until his death, he was a loyal, trusting friend. I was lucky to have him for the time that I did and I swear, I'll never forget his bravery during his final moments." Once more, tears fell from my eyes. "I-I can't..."

I couldn't do this anymore. Saying these things about Griffin felt too heavy on my heart. I couldn't imagine doing it a second time for someone who meant so much more to me, but as my gaze lifted from the ground in front of me to Daryl's figure beside Rick, a sleeping Judith securely in his arms, I inhaled deeply.

"My sister," I said, looking down at the next grave. "Many of you didn't know Adeline, but she was great before this and even during all the times we were running for our lives. Just before she died, she told me that I wouldn't have gotten far without her. That was true. When my real parents were killed during the mass murder at Home Depot in Atlanta, her parents were babysitting me. The second Adeline heard the news, she begged and pleaded her parents to take me in because she didn't want me going to people who could hurt me. She's always protected me and in the end, it drove her crazy." I pressed my lips to my hand then touched the wooden cross that Carl had put together for her. "I love you, Adeline."

The crowd that surrounded me quietly clapped as I hurried to Daryl's side. Judith stirred slightly, made a strange noise, and fell back into a heavy sleep. Finnegan grabbed my hand from behind me and rested his head against my arm. He didn't say anything or cry. I wondered if it was because the last time Adeline was around, he was too young to engrave her face into his mind. He tilted his head upward and squeezed my pointer finger. "I'll take care of you now, okay?" he said.

His words only sent another wave of pain through me. I pushed a smile onto my face and nodded. My body jolted slightly as Daryl's free hand wrapped around mine. His thumb, which had been bandaged the second we got back to the prison, rubbed tiny circles on my skin. For a split second, Maggie's eyes wandered to us, but she didn't say anything. She wouldn't at a time like this, just as her father finished the prayers over the empty graves.

When the ceremony was over, Rick took his daughter from Daryl and suggested that Finnegan help him with tending to our growing farm on the other side of the courtyard. Instead of going right away, the child motioned for me to kneel down to his height. He cupped his hands on my cheeks and kissed my nose. "I love you, okay?" he told me, his eyes boring into mine. "I'll keep you safe from the dead people and the living people."

I planted a kiss on his forehead. "You're my hero," I told him. "Now, go help Rick, okay? I love you, Finn."

I watched him run after Rick as I stood up straight. Daryl turned to me, a look of uncertainty written on his face. He jutted his chin toward the prison and I nodded. As we headed toward the entrance, I kept my arms crossed over my chest. Even though it must've been at least ninety degrees out, I felt like my body was going to freeze over at any moment. In fact, since the moment Adeline's body fell in front of me, the feeling lingered.

We passed my cell; Daryl knew I hated being in it now. Every time I looked at it, I pictured her face as I pulled the trigger. I didn't remember much after that -- just the archer running to me, circling his arms around me protectively as I fell to my knees and let out a blood-curdling scream. It had taken a lot of convincing to get me off the ground and moving toward the prison again before the walkers reacted to the gunshot. Finally, he had fastened his crossbow onto his back and forcefully pulled me to my feet, shoved a dagger through Adeline's skull, and carried my sobbing self the entire way back. That was the day before.

I'd spent the entire night throwing up in the bathroom. Daryl had stayed by my side, letting me cry into his shirt and then holding my hair back when I felt more stomach bile pushing its way up. I'd fallen asleep only once when he had wrapped his arms around me and I settled my head into the crook of his neck. I didn't dream, but when I'd woken up, I thought everything was okay again. Then, I had realized that I killed my sister and sent myself into another fit of hysterical crying.

"You hungry?" Daryl asked as I curled myself up on his bed.

"No," I answered, turning to face the wall. I heard him sigh and suddenly the cell was dark; he had closed the blankets. "I'm sorry, Daryl. I'm just..."

"I know," he said, lying down behind me. I could feel his heavy, rapid heartbeat against my back. "Hurts like a bitch. When I lost Merle, I wanted to die. I would've taken a thousand beatings from my old man if it meant my brother would come back."

"Does it go away?"

I shivered as his fingers gently grazed my neck as he pushed my hair back. "No," he answered honestly. "It don't."

I turned around to face him. Realizing just how much bigger he was than me, I put a hand against his chest. His eyes scanned my face, probably searching for any sign that I would ever smile again. "When Adeline had that gun to you and started to pull the trigger, there was only one thing that was going through my mind when I pulled mine," I told him in a low whisper. "'Don't shoot him,' I kept thinking. 'Don't shoot him because I love him. God, I love him so much.'"

A light flickered in Daryl's eyes as his mouth twitched. At first, I thought he was trying to fight off a smile. "Life and death situations make people do and think weird things," he said, trying to make up some excuse for what I had just told him.

I shook my head slowly, inhaling deeply as his hand trailed down to my waist. "No, it wasn't that. I'm in love with you, Daryl Dixon. I really am."

Daryl didn't say anything, but in all honesty, I didn't really expect him to. Instead, he closed the space between our lips and before I knew it, we were entirely entangled in each other.

o-o-o

My eyes cracked open slowly. I found myself alone, but underneath blankets that smelled like Daryl. Inhaling calmly, I waited for the pain to come. When Adeline's lifeless face flashed in my mind and a burning, tight pain erupted from my chest to every part of my body, I bit down on the blanket, stifling a cry. My tears soaked the fabric and my shoulders shook with my sobs.

Daryl was suddenly at my side, his fingers gently running through my hair as I cried myself out. "Here," he said once I had pulled myself together. In his hands was a bowl of some sort of soup. I sat up and he placed it in my lap. "Try to eat, okay?"

"Okay," I mumbled, staring down at the dark liquid. I was beyond starving, but every time I thought of taking a bite of something, my stomach churned.

"I'm goin' on patrol with Glenn," he informed me, "so I'll be outside if you need anythin'."

I nodded as he pressed his lips to my head. Then, without another word, he was gone. I sighed deeply and swirled the soup around with the small, bent spoon that had been placed inside the bowl. My eyes felt incredibly heavy even though I'd slept through the entire half day and night. Placing the uneaten soup onto the concrete floor, I stood and left the cell only to find three pairs of eyes instantly lock on me.

"Hey, you," Maggie mumbled with a tight smile. She pulled me into a warm embrace. I pressed my cheek against her shoulder, peering over at Carol and Beth. They wore the exact same expressions as the woman holding me. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, of course," I answered mechanically as I took a tiny step from her. "Just...it hurts, you know?"

"We know, sweetheart," Carol said, stepping in front of Maggie to give me one of her hugs. "Losing someone is the hardest thing we can experience now."

I broke away from them silently and wandered out into the courtyard just in time to see a car pull out from the prison gates. From the garden, Rick waved me over, shielding his eyes from the sun with his free hand. As I passed the graves, I made a point to not look at them. "We need to get you a pair of sunglasses," I told the sheriff as I approached him. From the corner of my eye, I could see Carl and Finnegan crouched near a blooming plant. The older boy seemed to be giving his partner tips.

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea," Rick answered. He pushed the shovel he had been holding into the ground and leaned against the handle. "I need to ask you something and I understand if you don't want to answer, but--"

I shook my head, watching the horde of walkers follow after the car. "Its okay," I told him. "Better to talk about whatever it is now than drag it out."

He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his sweaty face. His fingers stopped at his unruly beard and as he fondled strands of his hair between his fingers, his eyes scanned around the courtyard. The wait for him to choose his words right was almost unbearable, but I remained quiet. "Daryl told me Reanna got away during the fight," he finally said. "Do you know which direction she went off in?"

The mention of Reanna's name sent a fire of utter hatred through me. I pictured her hands on Daryl, touching him in places that only I had ever before. "No," I replied, my voice tight. I lifted a fist to my mouth as I cleared my throat. "I only saw her just as she jumped over a bush and disappeared somewhere in the forest. Is that where they're going?" I pointed a finger toward the direction of the car.

"Yeah. Daryl wants to track her."

"What is he going to do to her?"

Rick grabbed for his shovel and began to dig more holes for the fence he was going to put in for the pigs. "I didn't ask," he mumbled darkly, obviously done speaking on the subject.

I said my goodbye to him and turned on my heel, heading toward the walkers that were gathering at the fence again. As I passed the two boys, I placed a hand on Finnegan's head and ruffled his hair, enjoying the slight smile that found its way onto my face when he started to complain behind me. Approaching the group that shoved weapons through the walker's heads, I was greeted by Tyreese and Karen. They both gave me tight hugs then placed a rusted metal rod in my hands.

For hours, I put down walker after walker. When the sun began to fall behind the tree tops, Tyreese placed a giant hand on my shoulder. I froze and turned my head to look at him. "Dinner," he informed me. "I think you've done your share for the day."

"I'm okay," I said, stabbing another walker. "I'm not hungry at all."

Letting out a sigh of defeat, the man returned to Karen's side and they strolled to the prison hand-in-hand. Once they were gone, I allowed the tip of my rod to fall to the ground as tears gathered in my eyes. A struggled sob caught in my throat as I wiped at them with the sleeve of my shirt. I didn't want to cry anymore. It didn't make me feel any better, but my body still seemed persistent on it. A scream gathered inside my chest, but I knew better than to let loose. There were too many walkers around and if someone from the prison heard it, they would think that something was wrong and fly into another frenzy.

So, all the anger and despair and hate inside me leaked out little by little with every walker that hit the ground. Before I knew it, I was imagining Reanna's face on every single one of theirs. I lost count of how many I killed, but a pile of stinking, rotting bodies started to gather in front of me. I moved down the fence, shoving my rod through every opening I could that gave me access to a head or a chest. Every walker wore a different expression that I had once seen her sport. Some were laughing, some were pouting, and the especially ugly ones wore the seductive smirk that had been on her face as she held the knife to Daryl's throat and trailed her fingers down toward his pants.

Then suddenly, I was staring at the real thing. Reanna stood, watching me from the cover of bushes and trees. She probably thought I didn't see her, so instead of making it obvious that we were making eye-contact, I continued to kill walkers. My body started to tremble with rage as I told myself to keep calm. The second that someone else came outside, we would go after her.

But I wouldn't have this chance forever, so I inched my way closer to the gates until finally, I was able to open them and squeeze through the small opening. As I sprinted toward her, I dodged walkers that grabbed for my clothes and my hair. When she realized I was coming for her, her eyes widened in fear and she began to run from me.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I shrieked as I jumped over a bush. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!"


	38. Lionheart

I felt like a hunter as I chased Reanna through the woods. Imagining her to be some sort of wounded deer that would be my meal for the first time in a month only fueled the fire underneath my feet; I ran faster than I ever had before. All I wanted was to shove my rod through her skull over and over again. She was the reason why my sister was dead. If it hadn't been for her, I could've talked some sense into Adeline. After everything we'd done for her, how in the hell could she turn against us?

Daryl. He was her target the entire time. Just the thought of her hands on his clothes and skin again made my stomach twist into tight, painful knots. My lungs and legs burned, my muscles screaming for me to stop running, but I only pushed myself faster. I could see her take sharp corners, trying to throw me off her trail, but everything around her seemed blurred. Her figure was the only thing I could focus on.

A car horn blared from the road to my right, but I ignored it. If it was someone trying to kill us, I'd make sure that I would get to Reanna first. I wanted to be the one to put her down and I would make sure to do it in the most excruciatingly slowest way possible.

"Harper!" Daryl's voice boomed from the road. I couldn't take my eyes off Reanna. Not now.

In front of her, a large metallic building came into view. Barbed fences and forgotten tools surrounded it. Long ago, it must've been a warehouse of some sort. Now it served as Reanna's grave.

She hopped over the fence and hurried into the domed building. I followed her tracks exactly as not to step on any traps that she could've laid out before showing her face back at the prison. All the while, voices shouting my name echoed behind me. I recognized Daryl and Michonne's voices, but the others were too far away to hear. Either way, it didn't matter. They wouldn't stop me. I wouldn't let them.

As soon as I was inside the dark, dismal warehouse, the world around me seemed to fall silent. I couldn't see a thing – only a thin string of light peering in through a crack in the metal wall. Making sure to be extra careful with my footsteps, I continued further in. "Reanna," I said lowly, squinting through the darkness, "if you come out now, I promise not to hurt you. Rick wants to speak with you. He doesn't know what happened."

There was no reply and of course, I wasn't telling her the truth. At that point, I would've said anything to lure her out so I could wrap my hands around her dainty little neck. More than anything, I wanted to watch the life drain from her eyes before I shoved a knife through her head, slow and steady, just the way she did to Griffin. I wanted her death to be more painful than Adeline's, Griffin's, Merle's, Lori's, T-Dog's, and everyone else's combined. I wanted her to suffer.

A panicked shriek flew from my mouth as a gunshot rang out. I covered my ears with my hands and crouched down, hurrying to scuttle behind a tall bundle of what felt like plywood. "Get out, Harper!" Reanna ordered. I couldn't tell where she was; her voice bounced off the walls in every direction. "I'm not afraid to kill you!"

"Oh, I know you're not," I whispered. Footsteps entered the entrance where I'd come in from, followed by the sound of cocking guns and heavy breathing. I bit down on my bottom lip to silence myself.

"I thought I saw her run in here," Michonne's voice said.

"Maybe she's behind," Daryl suggested.

"Should we search the building?" Glenn asked.

"Nah. Can't see shit in here anyway."

I guessed that Reanna was also waiting for them to leave because the second they were gone, I heard faint shuffling from the other side of the room. Before she had the chance to escape, I rushed to the source of the noise, tripping and stumbling over stray pieces of wood and metal, all the while hoping I wouldn't slice my skin open on anything. My hip collided with something hard – a desk of some sort. It knocked the breath out of me enough to cause me to wince in pain and drop the rod to the floor to press my palms against my skin.

"Fuck," I hissed, trying to contain myself as Reanna bumped into something that created a piercing shattering noise. It was so close that I held my palms out, trying to feel anything fleshy. Then, a sharp pain streaked across my upper arm. I yelped out and swung my fist back. My knuckles collided with something hard and warm. Sticky blood dripped from the gash on my arm. I pressed my hand to it, trying to stop the flow, but it seeped out between my fingers.

"Why couldn't you have just left him with me?" Reanna shrilled from behind me. I edged away from her gradually until my back hit the wall. I couldn't see my rod. "Daryl and I could've been so happy, you know? You ruined everything!" With her last word, her fist connected with my gut. I sucked in a gasp of air as I curled around her arm, digging my nails deep into her skin. Her free hand struck my cheek, causing me to slam my head back against the metal.

A high-pitched ringing echoed in my ears as I tried to focus on her figure. There seemed to be at least four of her shadows approaching me. Reanna laughed between a short sob. The noises she was making reminded me so much of Adeline's last moments.

"Harper!" Daryl's voice called from somewhere distant.

"Why?" Reanna asked, her tone sounding wispy. "Why does he care so much about you? You're just some dumb, washed up bitch. Compared to me, you're nothing. Nothing!" A scream belted from my mouth as she kicked at my stomach. "I can give him so much more. Don't you realize that?"

From the cold concrete floor, I could see her foot twitching in anticipation to dance with my gut again. She laughed once more before holding her gun at my head. A small click cause my body to tense up, but nothing happened.

"Stupid gun," she murmured, slapping the weapon on her palm.

I took this chance to grab her leg and sink my teeth into her skin, right on her Achilles tendon. She hollered loudly – loud enough to draw the attention of the others outside – and punched the side of my head. My vision was fading with every knuckle kiss she gave me, but I continued to bite harder and harder. Soon, I had her blood on my tongue. Just a little deeper, a little more force...

_Pop!_

Reanna erupted in an uncontrollable scream as she fell to the ground next to me. Finally, it was my turn to drive my fist into her nose, her eye sockets, and her mouth. I refused to let up until blood covered her chipped and broken teeth. She tried to tell me to stop, but instead, a strange, distorted gurgling created tiny bubbles in the dark liquid. Then, she stopped making noises altogether. My fist fell from her skin. I hunched over her body, trying to catch my breath. She would turn soon. I had to stab her or shoot her or something. Grabbing for her gun, I decided against using a bullet on her; she wasn't worth it.

Struggling to stand to my feet, I holstered her gun in my belt. Dead bodies were so much heavier than they looked, but I managed to drag her from the warehouse just in time to see an approaching horde of walkers that must've heard her first gunshot. Through the pain surging on every inch of my face, I smiled.

"Har...per..."

My gaze traveled down to Reanna's bloodied pulp of a face. Her eyelids fluttered hazily as she tried to wrap her mangled fingers around my wrist. Somewhere during our scuffle, I had broken most of her fingers without realizing it. Thinking on it, most of our fight came back to me in a the form of a black mist.

"Please...don't..."

I looked back at the walkers. There must've been at least thirty of them, each of different gender, height, race, etc. Their groans sent goosebumps up my arms and legs. I wanted to stick around and watch them tear her apart, but I didn't want to get caught up in it all. Ignoring her pathetic whimpers, I dragged her closer toward them.

"Would your sister...want this?" Reanna choked out, blood spilling over the side of her mouth.

"Don't talk about her," I barked, stopping for a moment to punch her nose again. "You have no fucking right."

"Harper! What're you doin'?!"

My feet came to a halt as Daryl's voice struck me. A thick lump formed in my throat as I turned my head to look at him. "I have to do this, Daryl," I told him, trying to force as much confidence in my voice as I could muster. "She needs to die for what she did." I peeked around him, trying to see the others. He seemed to be alone.

At first, I expected him to tell me this wasn't the right thing to do, that we don't kill the living. When he nodded once, giving me a small sign of agreement, I felt as if a volcano of adrenaline shot through me. I pushed Reanna toward the oncoming walkers as Daryl jogged to my side. He grabbed my arm, telling me we had to leave her now, and turned to run.

"Oh, fuck," I whispered as we faced another horde of walkers. We were completely surrounded. "What do we do, Daryl?!"

Short, sharp breaths flew in and out of his nose as his nervous gaze flicked around for an exit. "In the warehouse," he ordered. We sprinted into the safety of the building and hurried to shut the creaking, heavy metal doors. Reanna's ear-splitting screams sounded muffled underneath the moans of the walkers outside. Their bodies slammed against the building, creating a noise similar to thunder.

"Are we safe?" I asked desperately as Reanna finally quieted. I was too afraid for our own lives to celebrate the finale of hers.

"No." Daryl answered briskly. "Look for somewhere to hide."

I did as he told me to, but we both knew that it was a wasted act. Wherever we went, the walkers would smell us. I felt around in the darkness, arms and fingers outstretched before me. All I could feel was the cold surface of machinery that probably didn't work anymore. From somewhere not too far from me, Daryl must've hit his knee or foot because a long string of hissed profanities flew from his mouth.

"Harper, get over here," he said, tapping on a table with his knuckles. I followed the noise until his chest landed in my palms. "Underground bunker." He took my hands in his and led it downward to a handle. Together, we counted down from three and lifted the circular cover, revealing a rope ladder.

Daryl urged me to go first, but followed right behind me. Or above me, I guess you could say. We climbed for what felt like hours, constantly fighting off the urge to just let go and hope we don't shatter our knees on impact. Finally, my right foot settled against concrete. We'd reached the bottom and just in time because the moans of the walkers above echoed off the walls around us. The more I strained to listen, though, the quicker I realized that the ones outside weren't causing the noise.

"Keep runnin'," Daryl snapped, pushing a hand on my back to lead me forward. "I'll cover your ass."

The bunker was a maze and the boundaries were passageways full of walkers. It seemed that every wrong turn I made, I came only inches from being grabbed by a rotting, bony hand. The only thing that eventually stopped my pace was a loud crash behind me. I whipped around and nearly let out a scream at my sight. The tunnel at our backside had caved in and a large chunk of concrete had collided with Daryl's head. His eyes rolled backwards and his body slumped to the ground, a trail of blood running from his mouth.

"Daryl?!" I cried out, kneeling at his side and pressing my ear to his chest. A heartbeat, weak and faint, continued to thump. I wanted to take a moment to laugh in relief, but walkers were slowly gaining on us.

Grunting at his weight, I pulled on his armpits and dragged him into another corridor to my left. He felt so much heavier than he looked, but as gritted my teeth hard and squinted through my tear filled eyes, a fire similar to the one I'd felt when I spied Reanna in the forest lit inside me, growing bigger and bigger with every step I took.

A tarnished fence came into view and it felt as if I'd seen the face of God for the very first time. Even though my back ached at the load I was hauling, I hurried to get into the fence and shut the gate behind us. Slinking to the ground, I struggled to catch my breath. My eyes only lifted from Daryl's figure when the walkers finally leaned against the fence, creating a horrible screeching noise. I reached for the gun at my belt only to find that it was no longer there. Instead, the weapon sat idly on the other side of the fence, being kicked and stepped on by the walkers.

I laced Daryl's fingers in mine, pressing my mouth to his cracked knuckles. "I love you," I whispered through a choking sob. "I love you. I'm so sorry. I love you."


	39. Beautiful Things

Knowing what you know now, what would you do if you were in my shoes? My lips tremble with my adoration of the man lying in front of me, but my voice gave out long ago. I don't know what to do. If I just let the walkers continue as they are, they'll get to both of us. Daryl's crossbow nearly glistens in my view. If only I knew how to work the damn thing, maybe, just maybe, we both could make it out alive. That isn't the case. I know it isn't.

Leaning down to kiss his mouth one final time, I wipe my eyes. I don't want to cry while I do this. I refuse to go down begging and sobbing like Reanna did. Her name still tastes so bitter on my tongue.

As I approach the dead beyond the gate, I hear a groan from behind me. "Harper?" Daryl's slurred voice asks. "Harper?" This time, much clearer, but my hand is already on the unwelcoming metal. "HARPER, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?! STOP!"

I glance back over my shoulder at him. He tries to stand, but I assume that a sharp pain racks his head because he shuts his eyes tight and bows toward the ground. "Just remember that I love you, okay?" I tell him for the last time, although I'm not sure if he can hear me. "Get out of here, please. I can distract them."

Daryl shakes his head, slow and steady. He must be dizzy. Only then do I realize the tears dripping onto the concrete below him. "You're bein' selfish," he croaks out. "DON'T FUCKIN' DO THIS, HARPER! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME THINK YOU'RE GONNA STICK AROUND AND THEN LEAVE!"

My teeth dig into my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. I know he's trying to guilt me into changing my mind, but I don't see any other way that he'll be able to get out alive. I take another step toward the walkers.

"STOP!" Daryl hollers, his voice full of tears. "I LOVE YOU, OKAY?! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LOVE YOU LIKE THIS AND THEN LEAVE ME! YOU CAN'T!"

I start to feel nauseous, but his words only fuel my ever burning fire. I count down from three in my head, ignoring Daryl's pleas, and then open the gate. The walkers are on me before I can even blink.

Somewhere in the haze that takes over my mind, I see Adeline and Merle. They're smiling at me, each of them holding a reassuring hand toward me. Everything about me, with the exception of my arms, feels like stone as I press my palms into theirs. Then, I see Daryl. His face flashes in my mind over and over again, each time with a different way I've ever seen him as I fell in love.

_"There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."_


	40. Epilogue

Dawn Lerner couldn't explain why she kept the young woman alive for so long. After all, she was using up necessary resources every single day that she remained in that hospital bed, hooked up to machines that became her only way of breathing, of dreaming, of having anything even similar to a heartbeat. For some unknown reason, the ex-police officer obsessively checked on her vitals countless times a day. What is her heart rate now? Has she shown any signs of movement? When will she open her eyes?

No matter what the answers were to her questions, Dawn remained hopeful that someday soon, this oddball miracle case would show herself to the world once more.

“Beth, come here. I need your opinion on something,” she whispered, motioning the blonde beauty over with her hand. Giving the older woman a curious stare, Beth leaned her mop against the cracked wall and followed her into the unusually small room that she never quite noticed before. “Tell me, do you think she'll live?”

With trembling hands, Beth gripped the dirty scrubs that had been given to her when she first arrived at Grady Memorial Hospital only a mere week ago. A hard, painful lump formed in her throat as her icy blue eyes scanned over the unconscious, bed-ridden female. “Y-Yes, of course,” she finally squeaked, trying her hardest not to make any strange gestures.

“Dawn, we've got a situation,” Officer Gorman's deep voice sounded over the radio. Dawn nodded and brought the device to her mouth.

“Location?”

“East side building.”

“I'm on my way. Beth, why don't you clean up in here?” she suggested, her hand sweeping near the pile of crumpled papers that had been tossed in the corner months ago. Without waiting for a reply from the girl, Dawn hurried from the room, taking one last peek at the woman who conquered her every thought.

Beth, refusing to take her eyes off the body, pulled up a squeaking doctor's chair that Dawn had spent a myriad of hours in. She took the larger hand in hers and pressed it to her cracked lips. How many tears had this one caused? How many sleepless nights? How many moments had everyone spent in pure agony because deep down, they knew this one didn't make it? Fighting back her own tears, Beth let out a small, pitiful chuckle. She couldn't hold back the grin any longer as her mouth formed the name that felt almost forbidden.

“Harper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are, the end of the story! Luckily, there's a sequel because I just didn't want to leave this story alone. Also, I hate vague endings. Does Harper die? Probably not, considering the sequel. But how did she end up in the care of Dawn? Nobody knows! Well, I do. And you can too, if you read the sequel _So It Goes_. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
